


Untouched

by Albenkind, guardianinthesky



Series: Everything remains (as it never was) [1]
Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Developing Relationship, I'll update Relationships/Additional Tags each time something relevant happens in a chapter, Intersex!Loki, Jotun!Loki, Loki is not a little shit anymore, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence, Multi, Slow Burn, Subtle jealousy, Thor is not a Frost Giant anymore, indication of abuse, jotun!thor, loki is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-01-20 21:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 58,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1525547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Albenkind/pseuds/Albenkind, https://archiveofourown.org/users/guardianinthesky/pseuds/guardianinthesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki had always been the treasure of Jötunheimr. </p><p>Thor had always been fascinated. But who was he to dream about him?<br/>Loki was the crown prince. He was a mere warrior.</p><p>He would never be the one to live at Loki's side.<br/>Even if he could be the one - no one was allowed to touch him. </p><p>Thor had never been so wrong in his life before.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ´u`! We both really hope you'll like this story. We've been working on it for a long time now. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \-- 
> 
> I tried to stick to the way everything is written in norse mythology. But when it came down to Laufey/Nál and Farbauti, I preferred to put it this way:  
> Laufey is Loki's father.  
> Nál is his mother.  
> I know it's different in mythology but we prefer it like this, sorry u_u!!

Looking into the mirror would reveal exactly what Loki should be concerned about. He should be concerned about whether his servants were following the rules or not. But that was not what he was currently interested in. He knew the servants wouldn't touch him because each of them feared Laufey's wrath far too much to even think about it. This was why Loki's gaze trailed off and instead of watching the three women brushing his hair and running around the table to prepare some food for him, he looked out of the window. Looking at the training grounds was way more interesting, especially because of one specific warrior that caught his attention.  
  
He'd been watching him for weeks now and he was impressed. Impressed by his strength, his willpower. He was fascinated by the way he moved and the way he never used any tricks to win against his opponent during one of their sparring sessions. But the most important part was the fact that he did all this despite the fact that he was utterly small for a Frost Giant. This was the reason why Loki had looked at him in the first place. Frost Giants were strong. They were twice as tall as an Æsir and they didn't have any hair. They didn't have delicate skin and they clearly didn't have sky blue eyes.  
  
Thor was everything a Frost Giant wasn't.  
  
If it weren't for the blue skin and the horns, Loki would've considered him an Æsir. But if he would do that, he would have to consider himself one of them as well. Because he was way too small as well. He had hair, like Thor. So somehow, Loki felt a weird connection with Thor. Loki knew that there was some backbit behind king Laufey's back. They said Loki was a bastard son because of his delicate figure. They said he was a runt. Something that could never end up to be good in the end. This was why Laufey made up a law. A law that each and every single soul in this realm knew by heart.  
  
No one was allowed to touch him.  
  
No one, not even by accident. And if it happened or even if someone would just try it - this person would be killed. Slaughtered. And surprisingly no one had believed it until it actually happened. Laufey literally slaughtered the warrior that dared to try to touch the crown prince. This had been a lecture to those who didn't believe and from that day on, no one even dared to think about touching him. That was the official version. Of course there was also the version only the royal family knew about.  
  
"Leave me alone." Loki ordered after a long silence, standing up from the chair. He grabbed a bit of fur and put it around his hips, attaching it with a leather strap before he walked down the hallway and the stairs to make his way towards the training yard. It wasn't that far away and even if the halls of the palace were impressive, Loki didn't pay attention to them, knowing all the ornaments and details by heart now. And he didn't bother to pay attention to those who walked past him on his way to the training grounds. Everyone bowed to him and even if he never really looked at any of them - he relished the feeling of pure respect they all had for him. Or maybe it was just fear of Laufey? After all, if anyone would annoy him, Loki would simply tell his father and the problem would solve itself. But either way Loki didn't mind at all as long as he got whatever he wanted. And he knew that Laufey granted him almost everything. Even his younger brothers Býleistr and Helblindi had to do everything he wanted. Loki stretched himself a little, letting out a yawn when he left the giant building, entering the atrium. As soon as the first warrior noticed him, he immediately bowed down to him.

"My Prince." he whispered and stepped back a few meters. And when the others noticed him, they did the same. Bowing down. Moving away from him. While he moved forward, the jewellery on his body jingled with every single movement whereas his footsteps were almost completely silent. He only stopped when he reached the circle in the middle where two warriors - one of them was of course the interesting one - were about to fight. 

"I think I have time for one more fight today. Shall we begin?"  
  
The warrior's voice was deep, growling and with an odd warmth in it like distant thunder. Loki enjoyed the sound of it. He heard his voice for the first time now. But his opponent didn't react. He knelt down as well and it seemed as if the interesting one finally realised why everyone turned quiet. He turned around and Loki's eyes were greeted by those unusual blue ones. There was a smile on his thin lips and Loki waited eagerly for his reaction.  
  
"My prince!"  
  
He sounded nervous. Loki liked the sound of it.  
  
Without a moment of hesitation the warrior got down to his knees as well, head low to show him the respect he deserved. No one was saying anything - they probably waited for Loki to reveal why he came here. The princes never came here - or at least the crown prince never came here.  
  
"I can't remember allowing you to stop. I think you two were about to fight. So go on. Fight." Loki ordered, performing a quick movement with his hand whereupon a block of ice appeared right behind him and he sat down on it, leaning back a little so he would be able to watch them from here.  
  
Baugi was one of his father's best warriors and Loki had seen him fight a couple of times so he was more than just curious how this small Jötunn would act in this little sparring session and whether he would win or not. If it was for him... he would be way more pleased if the small one would win, but he'd have to wait and see. And this was exactly what he did. Loki watched this whole scenery in complete silence, not even flinching away when in the heat of the fight they started almost throwing each other into his direction. It looked like the small Jötunn would lose most of the time. If he wouldn't know better, he would say that the blond warrior looked over to him several times which distracted him and - of course - left Baugi taking advantage of this situation. But when Loki already thought the fight was over, the smaller one seemed to gain new strength, thereby managing to take the lead again until Baugi was finally beneath him and on his back. Only seconds later, he yielded with a pained cry. Loki could see that the small Jötunn twisted his arm awkwardly, ultimately being able to claim himself the winner of this session. 

It was obvious that he was proud. Loki could see the sparkle in his eyes. He thought it was stupid.

The crown prince tilted his head a little, arms still crossed in front of his chest as his person of interest's attention was drawn back to him. He had been good indeed but he'd missed some chances to defeat his opponent earlier. Loki had seen it. On the other hand he had to admit that he thought it was fascinating how he was fighting. 

Since Loki was currently the only magician in Jötunheimr, he always loved looking at those fights with those warriors who weren't using any tricks or spells. Of course every Jötunn could manipulate ice to a certain extend but Loki was the only one who could cast spells.

"You there, come here." he ordered, looking at the small Jötunn while he gestured to the ground in front of him. As soon as he did as he was told, Loki continued. The warrior was bowing to him so deep, Loki almost thought it was ridiculous.

"What is your name and where do you come from?"

"My name is Thor, my lord. I... I do not know where I come from. I was brought here when I was a small child, and I have no memories of my life before that."  
Loki watched him closely, every movement of him and every expression that was displayed on his features, even if most of it was hidden behind blond strands of hair. Thor's blue eyes were fixed on the floor and he almost felt like Thor tried to look anywhere but him. Loki wondered where he got them. Maybe one of his parents wasn't even from Jötunheimr?  
The healers always told him that Loki didn't need to be as tall and muscular as a regular Frost Giant because he possessed the rare gift of magic. But Loki doubted that Thor inherited such abilities as well. The magician stood up shortly after Thor's answer and let the chair disappear, arms still crossed.  
  
He could see Thor flinch when he stood up and it made him smile.  
  
"Tell me Thor... where do you see yourself in my father's legion? Do you think you are the - or one of the best warriors he has?"

Silence. But then:

"Yes, I do."

Loki was surprised that Thor actually admitted that he thought he was the best one. Or at least one of the best and that he was not afraid to speak the truth in front of everyone. Loki knew many of these warriors were quite arrogant and self-observed so when someone just stood up, telling the prince that he believed he was better than the others... Loki assumed most of those who were here weren't pleased with that. And right when this thought came to his mind, Loki could already hear some of them starting to mumble. Quiet curses that slipped their throats through gritted teeth. But this was not his problem. He was sure Thor would be able to deal with them if it was necessary.

But the prince didn't intend to reveal what he was thinking just now. Besides he'd have to make sure that his father was alright with his decision so he'd need another day before he would tell Thor about his plans for him. So instead of reacting to his former words, the prince just relaxed his stance a little.

"I will have to talk to my father about this." he announced.

Panic spread in Thor's eyes and his expression froze.

Not reacting, Loki turned around on his heel and left the training grounds again. Loki suppressed a grin. This had been exciting. And it would get even more exciting for him if his father agreed. Which he would. Laufey always agreed to his wishes. 

When Loki headed back, he took the opposite way from where he'd come to the yard. This hallway would lead to the throne room and he was sure that his father would be there at this moment. He almost hurried towards the large chamber, eager to talk to his father. Not long ago, his father had told him that he should choose one of the warriors in his army to be his personal guard. Not that Loki needed protection. He was talented and his spells were strong - he could even cast a hand full of spells who'd mean an instant death for his opponent. Downside of those spells were just that he could only cast them once because he'd be way too exhausted to even stand afterwards. But all of the others spells were very powerful as well and he was capable of taking care of himself. But he didn't want to disagree with his father's wishes. Besides, choosing one who'd have to take care of him sounded way better. And way more exciting.

"Father..." he started when he entered the room, the jingling sounds of his jewellery echoing from the icy walls in the empty room. Laufey turned around and an almost warm smile appeared on his lips. 

"Loki, my treasure. What brings you here?" he asked and knelt down, even bowing a little so he could look his son into the eyes. Laufey was not only the king but he was also the largest Frost Giant of them all. There were even rumors that one of his ancestors had been one of the colossuses from Nilfheimr and Loki was barely able to reach his belly while he was standing on his tiptoes, arms stretched his arms over his head. But Laufey was the only one with that size. Loki's mother Nál was smaller - a regular sized Frost Giant. One of many reasons why the kingdom wondered why Loki was way too small, smaller than an Æsir even if he was the oldest son of Laufey. 

When he looked around, he could see his brothers Helblindi and Býleistr eating at the dining table at the other end of the room. 

"I've decided who I want. The small Frost Giant. I want Thor to be my guard." he said, hearing Helblindi's laugh at that. Laufey shushed him, turning to Loki again. 

"Are you sure about that, my son? There are many warriors in my legion who are way more talented than him."

"I know."

Laufey sighed, hesitating for a moment. "Whatever you wish. I will send two guards to his house tomorrow in the morning to bring him to your chamber."

"Thank you, father." Loki replied with a smile and nodded. 

"Loki." his father called when he was already about to leave the room again. The prince turned around and frowned a bit as he waited for Laufey to say something. 

"Don't forget to study tonight." the king said, his voice firm and calm and his son nodded, leaving the room. For the rest of the day he did exactly that. Loki grabbed the book he needed from the library and studied the new spell he had to learn. He went through everything he needed to know about it for hours and hours. But he never started to try it yet. It was a difficult spell and Loki - even if he was confident about his skills - was sure that he needed some more time until he would be able to perform it. 

And because he was so focused on learning it, he didn't notice just how outside by now. When he did though, he also noticed just how tired he actually was so he made his way over to his chamber, letting himself fall down into the furs of his bed. 

He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillows.

 

****

 

"Tell me, Thor. Do you think you could protect him with your life? To be willing to slay a man for him. Or even yourself if necessary. Do you think you could do that if I would ask this of you?" 

Laufey's voice was booming. It echoed in the large throne room and only made his large figure even more intimidating. Thor was kneeling and Laufey waited patiently for him to look up. 

Of course Laufey knew Thor was one of the strongest warriors in his king's guard and he had been surprised Loki told him that he wanted to have him. He'd lose a talented warrior. But it was Loki. Loki got everything he wanted, no matter what it was. He had to give him everything he wanted. Some other warriors had failed to stay at Loki's side before so this time he wanted to be sure it would work. 

"Yes." Thor finally answered. 

"I do."

A light grin appeared on Laufey's lips at his response. Thor looked really confident and there was no sign of doubt in his eyes. It was clearly visible in his eyes that he really meant it and Laufey was way more than pleased to hear that. 

"He may be my oldest son, but he's immature. Loki is still a child in many ways. His mind is a box of cats and his younger brothers are more mature and way more experienced than him. I want everything to stay this way. Do not dare to touch him. Do not try to explain things to him. I am sure he will start to ask you about some things after a while but I don't want him to know something about things he will never experience in his entire life." Laufey started, voice low, almost threatening so he could make sure that Thor wouldn't even dare to think about doing any of these things. 

"Do you understand?"

"I understand, my king."

 

****

 

Only a few heartbeats after Thor accepted the conditions, Helblindi came running into the throne room and he was grinning. Right behind him was Loki and it was clearly visible that he was exhausted from running. This time his body was not decorated with jewellery. There was only a cloth of fur wrapped around his hips and his hair was not braided, it was open and falling over his shoulders and his chest, some strands of hair were even entangled with his horns. Helblindi aimed for the large pillars at the end of the room and he reached out. 

But before he could touch it, ice was bursting through the floor, wrapping itself around the Frost Giants body, throwing it backwards so the youngest prince was crashing against the wall at the end of the room. Not even five seconds later, Loki reached the pillar, touching it. The ice around the other Laufeyson's body melted and Helblindi stood up again, obviously angry. 

"I thought we agreed on the fact that you would not use magic to win the race!!" he bellowed. 

"We did!" Loki snapped back.

"But then it looked like I was losing!" he added, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

Helblindi growled and was about to throw a lose piece of rock at the Loki who made a quick movement with his hands so the stone was flying back to Helblindi as if it was a boomerang. The rock hit Helblindi at his chest and he let out a grunt, taking a step forward, stumbling over the slippery surface that was still wet from the melted ice. Loki burst out in laughter at the sight. 

"Drop it, both of you!!" Laufey suddenly yelled and the whole room started shaking underneath their feet. Both sons then bowed their heads and stopped talking in an instant. After a few moments of silence, Laufey turned to his oldest son. 

"Loki. I accept your wish. Take Thor to your private chamber to discuss the rest. I trust you to know what to do." he announced and Loki nodded, finally looking at Thor. He hadn't even noticed that he was there. Moving past him again, he made his way back to his room. 

"Come with me." he ordered and Thor stood up without a word. 

For the rest of the walk, Loki could hear the steady sound of heavy footsteps behind him and he wondered what was going on in Thor's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

He often looked up at that window, wishing that perhaps he would get a glimpse of the prince. To see his long, black hair dancing around his slender figure. To just see him moving, standing, maybe even sleeping. Oh he would give so much to see him on a daily routine. Thor wasn't even sure when or how it started. Ever since he could remember, he'd been fascinated by the crown prince. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that they were both different?

He'd been found somewhere.

His parents had told him that one day he had been lying at their door. Someone must've abandoned him because of his size. Left him to die. But luckily the people who raised him from that on had been kind to him. They treated him as if he was their real son and Thor was grateful for this. It had often frustrated him, to know he must've had a family, and a past, that he did not know. He had spent many nights dreaming not only about Loki, but also about his family, wondering what they looked like, and who they were. Of course he enjoyed his life here, but he sometimes felt like he did not fit in, and he just wanted to find out who he really was.

He'd been even more grateful when Laufey accepted him into the king's guard. Because here he had a purpose. He could prove himself. Show everyone that he was a worthy warrior. He had learned to use his size to his advantage. He was quicker than the others and could hit more precisely. Use more weapons.

Thor wasn't afraid to admit that he was proud of himself.

And then he'd seen the prince. So many years ago for the first time. It had been wonderful and from that day on he was enchanted by his beauty. It was frustrating though because nothing could ever happen between them. No one was allowed to touch the prince, and Thor could still remember very well what had happened to that one warrior who had once tried. He had no interest in following in his footsteps, and so - over time - he had made peace with the fact that he would never be with the one he loved.

Today had been different though. The prince came down to watch him train for the first time and he would've never imagined that something like this would happen. It was...intimidating, in some ways, to be this close to the prince. Even if Thor was a bit bigger than him, and even though he was sure he would be able to defeat him in one of these matches, Loki had magic. Not only was he a powerful sorcerer, he was also the crown prince, the son of the great king Laufey. Of course Thor respected him. Add to that his feelings for him, and it was only natural that he would be a little on edge. So when Loki suddenly talked to him it had been surprising. Exciting and intimidating at the same time. Had he done something wrong? Why did he want to talk to his father about that? Thor couldn't remember if he'd said anything to upset the prince in any way. The question was a surprise, but he did not let that show. Instead, he met Loki's eyes, nodding his head once. "Yes, I do," he said firmly. This hadn't been the time for modesty. He did believe that he was one of the best warriors, if not the best, and when Loki asked him that question, he was sure he wanted him to be honest. He did not care what the other warriors would think of it. He was one of the strongest ones there, no matter his size

Thor spent the rest of the day in silence, preferring to stay inside his house instead of going back out there and risk angering the warriors further. Because after Loki was gone... they made it clear that they didn't approve him talking like that in front of their prince. But no matter how hard he tried to relax for the rest of the day, he could not stop thinking about Loki, wondering what reason he'd had for his actions. He had never come down to watch them fight like that, and there had to be a reason for his newfound interest. Thor knew, of course, that Loki had never been a particularly strong warrior, not in that particular sense, at least. He was excellent at magic, though, and that was why Thor was so surprised that he would take the time to watch them train. Why would he care about something he had no use for? Perhaps he had gotten bored and wanted to see what it was like to fight someone without magic for a change? Thor had no idea, and he realised he was spending too much time worrying about it. Everything would be fine. He had done nothing wrong, and could therefore not be punished. He went to bed still repeating this to himself, and when he woke up in the morning, his worries were basically gone.

****

That was until there was a knock on his door the next day, and the guards told him the king wanted to see him in the throne room. Thor swallowed. Why would the king want to see him? He assumed it had something to do with what happened yesterday, but he still could not figure it out. Somewhat reluctantly, he followed the other two, spending the entire time it took to get to the throne room thinking about the possible reasons for him to end up in front of the king. When they finally arrived, his nerves were worse than ever, but he refused to let any of it show, instead walking inside like the proud warrior he was supposed to be.

Thor walked closer to the throne, Slowly, careful not to do anything wrong, kneeling down in front of the king and bowing his head as he did so. As he tilted his head up a bit, he could tell that Laufey seemed to be studying him, and he was reminded of the way Loki had been looking at him the other day. What were they planning to do with him? Thor waited for Laufey to start speaking, for him to explain to him why he was here, and what they were going to do to him. He could only hope it would be good news.

"Tell me, Thor. Do you think you could protect him with your life? To be willing to slay a man for him. Or even yourself if necessary. Do you think you could do that if I would ask this of you?"

Laufey's voice was booming. It was echoing in his ears and Thor couldn't help but feel fear boiling up in his guts. He hadn't done anything wrong. Laufey wouldn't hurt him, there was no reason.

"Yes." Thor finally answered.

"I do."

"He may be my oldest son, but he's immature. Loki is still a child in many ways. His mind is a box of cats and his younger brothers are more mature and way more experienced than him. I want everything to stay this way. Do not dare to touch him. Do not try to explain things to him. I am sure he will start to ask you about some things after a while but I don't want him to know something about things he will never experience in his entire life."  
  
"Do you understand?"  
  
He listened intently to what the king had to say, frowning lightly at the comment about the box of cats. He had not expect Laufey to be talking this way about his own son, but perhaps it should not have come as much of a surprise. Even though it was common knowledge that the king loved his son, it was also common knowledge that he was a harsh, headstrong ruler, so maybe it was not so strange for him to say these things.

"I understand, my king." Thor said, making sure his voice was still as confident as it had been a few minutes ago. He knew, of course, that he would not be able to touch Loki, and he understood the boundaries - it was therefore easy for him to accept the king's terms.

Thor turned his head around when the doors suddenly opened, and he watched quietly as the two princes entered the room. He took a moment to once again admire Loki's beauty, and he noticed that his hair was not braided. It looked really good like that, and Thor had a sudden urge to run his fingers through it, but of course he knew he would never be able to do that. After all, Laufey had just told him he would never be allowed to touch Loki, and he would to exactly as he had been told. Thor was loyal, and he followed the rules, and if he was not allowed to touch the prince, then he would not be touching the prince, no matter how much he wanted to.

And he really wanted to. He was sure Loki's hair was soft. Soft and silky in his own hands. And it surely smelled wonderful, as well as Loki himself.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he watched the exchange of the two brothers, and the little game they apparently had going on, and he thought to himself that they were acting like a couple of children, but perhaps this was simply their way of having fun. Thor's way of having fun was training and fighting against the other warriors, and he supposed he sometimes acted like a child during those circumstances. Perhaps it was not in his place to judge. And it was actually sort of nice to see that the prince was not so serious all the time, and that he did have a playful side to him.

When Laufey made them stop, Thor turned his eyes back to him, and he listened to what he told Loki with a small frown on his face.

"Loki. I accept your wish. Take Thor to your private chamber to discuss the rest. I trust you to know what to do."

So Loki had been the one to wish for Thor as his...What was he? His personal guard? And Thor assumed this had to do with the fight yesterday. Obviously Loki must have realised he was one of the strongest ones there. He met Loki's eyes, and he bowed one more time to the king before standing up again. He was a bit surprised that Loki had not waited for him, so he hurried after him, making sure to be walking two steps behind him, wondering what they were about to discuss.

He was walking behind Loki, seeing his hips sway with every step he took. There was no jewellery on his body this time really. The only thing that jingled on him was a small and delicate anklet and it was golden and there was a tiny bell attached to it . Loki looked beautiful even from behind an Thor felt his heartbeat going faster. Not only because he was nervous about what would happen to him now, but because of Loki being so close to him. Letting his eyes move up again he only let them linger on his form for a few moments because he didn't want to stare at him. Of course Loki wouldn't see it anyway but he felt... it felt wrong. He felt like he was taking advantage of the fact that Loki turned his back to him and he clearly didn't want to do that. But it was so tempting. Loki's hair covered his entire back so he couldn't see much of it. But what he saw was beautiful. He wanted to touch it. He wanted to touch his shoulders and his hair and his arms, his hips, his-

"You should feel privileged."

Loki suddenly said after a long moment of silence.

Thor snapped out of his thoughts, feeling like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't.

Then Thor absently nodded his head because he did feel privileged, probably a lot more than Loki could ever imagine. To be trusted with protecting the prince, even though he was the smallest warrior there, was something of great importance. And of course, his attraction to Loki was strong, and he could not help but feel special, because after all the prince must have seen something in him that he liked. He knew he could not think too much about this, because no matter how he felt, the king had made it clear Loki was not to be touched. That rule was a very basic one, and Thor wondered what the king would think if he knew Thor wanted to do a lot more than simply touch the prince's shoulder.

"I do feel privileged, my prince."

He wanted so much more. He wanted not only to touch him but kiss him. Everywhere. And he wanted to make love to him, he wanted to show him everything beautiful in the world and how much more beautiful it could be with love in it. And he wanted to spend every day with him. Talk to him. Learn what he liked, what he didn't like. His quirks and his little habits that made everyone so special and unique. He wanted to know all of it.

Thor assumed Laufey would slay him in the most gruesome way. Therefore, he had to make sure to remain professional. He would protect Loki, but he would not allow his own feelings to grow. If that happened, this would be a lot more difficult than he wanted it to be.

They were walking up the stairs and made their way to a long hallway that lead to Loki's private chambers. No guard was allowed to be here - in fact the only people who were allowed in these are were the members of the royal family and the personal servants and Thor somehow felt really out of place. He watched Loki stretching himself and looking back over his shoulder so their eyes briefly met and it made Thor's heart jump in joy. Once they reached the large double wing doors, two servants opened them and stepped to the side so Loki and Thor could enter.

 

His chamber was large. To be precise, they looked just like he had imagined it There was a huge bed at one end of the room and there were many shelves with plenty books inside the room. The ground was covered in comfortable and warm furs and there was a table in the middle of the room with some bowls that were filled with fruits their servants had collected from different realms. Of course it was very big, because nothing else could be expected for the prince. And the many books were of no surprise. Looking around a bit, he finally turned his head and watched as Loki jumped onto the bed.

"You probably already know that my last guards are dead by now. So my father wants me to choose one of his warriors and make him my new personal guard."

It was nice to finally get an explanation and to finally know why he had been assigned to be Loki's personal guard. But he still didn't know why Loki had chosen him out of all warriors. It would've been wiser to choose someone stronger. Or someone bigger. Wouldn't it?

"And I chose you, but I guess you already figured that out?"

"I did, my prince." Thor bowed his head. "Forgive me for asking though, but... why did you choose me? There surely are warriors out there who would be better to be your personal guard."

Loki remained silent. Thor could see him raising an eyebrow and he looked like he was thinking about an answer for a moment.

"Ragna, bring me the small box." Loki ordered to the girl that was currently filling the bowls on the table.

Without even hesitating a single moment she nodded and hurried to the other end of the room to get a small, golden box with which he hurried to Thor, stopping in front of him. Thor frowned when Loki called for the box instead of answering his question. Not that he should have expected an answer. After all Loki was the prince and he was nothing more than his guard. Loki didn't need to answer his questions. Still he was curious about the box anyway. Ragna grabbed his wrist gently and opened the box with her other hand, taking out a golden bracelet with a shiny emerald. She attached it to his wrist and bowed down, stepping backwards quickly. Every single Frost Giant knew what this was. And of course Thor knew exactly what it was as well.

It was the sign of belonging to the prince.

There was a grim sort of acknowledgement that he now belonged to the prince. Not because he disliked the idea of belonging to Loki necessarily, but he disliked the idea of belonging to anyone. Freedom had always been very important to him.

"You will not leave my side unless I allow it. Apart from your duties this wrist puts upon you, it will protect you in the same way. Laufey will punish whoever hurts you." the prince continued and leaned forward a little. Loki then smiled, revealing a line of snow white teeth. "I chose you because we're alike. And because you've proven that you're one of the strongest amongst the other warriors."

He turned his head and looked over at Loki, listening to him telling him about the bracelet, and then also about why he had chosen him. He was a bit curious to know why Loki thought they were alike. Did he meant their size, or was there something else he was referring to?

"Alike?" he tilted his head to the side, figuring he might as well ask. "What does that mean, my prince?"

"I won't specify that."

Thor supposed he should not have been surprised when Loki told him he was not going to specify it. Again, it was not something he could expect from him. In fact, there was nothing he could expect from him. Even so, he was a bit disappointed that they had not gotten off to a better start, but perhaps that would be hoping for a bit too much. After all, they were not here to become friends. Loki was a prince, and Thor was nothing more than his personal guard. That would not change.

"You may go for now to get your things from your home. You will live in the palace from now on. If you want to, you may ask to leave the castle to visit your family. Apart from that you are going to stay here. But you are free for the rest of the day to do whatever you wish to as long as you are back in my room tomorrow by noon."

"Thank you, my prince." he bowed his head again, giving Loki one last look before he turned around and left the room, carefully shutting the door behind him. He walked slowly through the palace, stopping once at one of the windows to look down at the other warriors training outside. He thought about joining them, since Loki had said he was free for the rest of the day, and he did not know when he would get the chance to train again, but he decided to go straight to his house to rest.  
He had a feeling he might need it.  
  
Thor spent the rest of the day in his house, mostly sitting on his bed and contemplating his decision. It had been an eventful day, even though not much had happened. Nevertheless, what had happened had been...Well, it was a big change. To realise that he would now be the prince's personal guard...It was strange to think about, and Thor knew it was a big responsibility, but he believed he could do it. He had to make sure Loki was safe. That was not so hard, at least he hoped it wouldn't be. On the other hand, he was sure it would be a bit challenging, since he did have some feelings for the prince, but as long as he did not act on them, he assumed everything would be fine.

 

****

The next day, two servants came to help him get his belongings into the castle, and into the new room he'd be staying in. He did not have a lot of possessions, but he appreciated the help nonetheless. His new room was practically bigger than his house had been, and he spent some time looking around and making himself at home as best as he could. A few hours later, it was time to go back to Loki's room, and he knocked on the door when he got there, wondering what the prince was going to have him do today. But it was not Loki who opened the door by himself. Of course he had people in here helping him out so it was not much of a surprise actually. The servant talked quiet and she seemed to be a little insecure.  
"The prince ordered me to tell you that you will have to wait in his room until he wakes up. He then will talk to you."

Admittedly he was surprised at that. He did not understand why he couldn't just go back to his own room, but he was not about to argue with her. Orders were meant to be followed after all. So he followed her inside, sitting down on a chair to wait for Loki to wake up. Why was he sleeping in the first place? He had told him to get here at noon, shouldn't he have made sure to be awake at that time? Did he have a rough night or something? Thor had no idea, but he did have time to speculate after all. He assumed he would have to sit here for quite a few minutes. Maybe even hours. It was pointless actually because he doubted he would get an explanation. In fact, he would probably not even receive an apology. He understood of course, that the prince was allowed to do whatever he wanted. But that did not mean that Thor considered this to be rude.  
  
And it was just as he anticipated it to be. Thor was bored basically the entire time. He could not believe he had to sit here for what felt like - and what probably was - hours. Hours over hours. Sitting here, staring at the wall, the windows, the wall again and then the shelves in complete silence. Why did Loki need to have him in the room while he was asleep? He could have stayed in his own room and then come back later. He felt useless just sitting here. Thor had never enjoyed staying in one spot for too long. That was why he eventually left his chair and took a walk around the room. He tried to stay away from Loki's bed, but he did take a few steps closer to it, watching the prince for a few minutes before he made it back to his chair again. He looked beautiful, and Thor wanted to touch him, just once, but he didn't.  
  
"Ah, you're here."  
  
Thor let out a relieved sigh when he suddenly heard Loki's voice. He turned around to look at him, seeing him roll around in his bed, stretching himself before he pushed himself up into a sitting position. Loki got up, leaving the bed. He came over towards him and sat down on the table, grabbing a few grapes.  
  
"Have you packed everything and seen your room yet?"  
  
"Yes, I have packed everything, my lord. I do not own much." he admitted, looking up at the prince. "And yes, I have seen my room. It is very nice."  
  
"Good."  
  
Thor wondered how much time it would take for him to get comfortable around the prince. Maybe he would never be completely comfortable around him. Then again, that probably wasn't the point. He was not supposed to treat the prince as a friend, he was supposed to treat him...Well, like a prince, and he had to make sure to remember that. He had a feeling the smallest mistake would lead to him no longer having this position. And, depending on the mistake, it could of course also lead to his own death. It was definitely important to be careful, and he hoped he would be able to get through this without messing it up.  
  
"Would you like to continue training with the others despite your new duties?"  
  
At Loki's question, he tilted his head to the side. He had not expected him to ask, and he had to take a few seconds before he realised he should probably answer him.  
  
"Yes," he said again, nodding his head. "I would very much like that, if you would allow it, my prince."  
  
He did not want to give up his training completely. Besides, if he was to be the prince's personal guard, he would need to train, and he would need to stay strong.  
  
"Just because you belong to me now doesn't mean you're not free anymore. If you do not make any mistakes you may ask me anything you want. You're bound to me now but you can be sure that I will try to fulfill your wishes as long as you are doing a good job."  
  
Loki said and made a short pause, grabbing some of the jewellery to put it around his own neck while he looked into the mirror.  
  
"So yes, you may continue your training. I will come with you."  
  
Thor thought that sounded like a big contradiction. He belonged to Loki, and yet he was free? He had to stay at his sides at all time, and yet he should still consider himself a free man? It did not make any sense to him. He did not want to make it sound like he was bitter about it though. He was immensely proud and grateful for this amazing opportunity, but to be honest... No matter what Loki said he would not be able to do whatever he wanted to anymore, and it was quite frankly a bit depressing to suddenly realise he would not be able to go train whenever he wanted to. Still, at least he was being offered. He was sure a lot of royals would have simply shrugged their shoulders, not caring if he was allowed at least a few minutes of training or not. Thor was not sure whatever wishes of his Loki would actually be able to take care of. The only wish he could think of right now was to be allowed to touch Loki. His skin looked so good, he looked so good, but apparently touching was not allowed, and he doubted Loki would grant him that wish. He would have to think of something else. He was also a bit surprised when Loki told him he would be coming with him to watch him train. But, then again, if they were not supposed to leave each other's sides, he would have to grow used to Loki being right there all the time. He was sure it would not be pleasant every moment of every day, but he would make it through.  
  
And when Loki started leaving the room to head for the training grounds again, Thor followed him in complete silence, walking a few steps behind him as they made their way through the palace. He wondered what the other warriors would say when they saw him. He had not spoken to them since Loki had watched him fight, and they would probably have a few choice words for him when they saw that he was Loki's personal guard now. Perhaps they had even heard of it already. After all, rumours travelled fast. When they reached it he could already hear a hand full of the other warriors giggle and one of them even yelled.  
  
"That's your new place? The pet of the prince?" one of the warriors said and let out a loud laugh.  
  
Thor could see Loki turning his head to look at the warrior and he made a quick gesture with his hand. Within a heartbeat the Frost Giant who laughed at Thor flew backwards and hit the wall behind him pretty hard after a block of ice suddenly broke through the ground and hit him right at his chest.

  


Thor couldn't understand why they all seemed to make fun of him. They should envy him, not look down upon him. After all, he had been chosen to be the prince's person guard, and that was a very honourable position to be in. Yes, he did have the bracelet that showed he belonged to Loki now, but he had still been chosen because he was one of the strongest warriors there. They had no reason to tease him.  
He was surprised when Loki attacked the one who had called out to him. Thor stood there, unsure what to say towards it. He was supposed to be the prince's personal guard, and now he was being protected by him. That seemed a bit strange to him, but he was nevertheless thankful, because now maybe they would stay quiet. Though, without saying anything towards it, Loki walked a bit further and touched the area where they always fought. It was a circle in the middle of the yard and when Loki touched it, ice slowly formed on the ground until it was covered in a thin layer of slippery ice.  
  
"You will train with a little more difficulty today." Loki announced and stepped back, gesturing Thor to go to the middle of the icy area in order to fight first.  
  
Getting his weapon, he was more than ready to prove himself today, and remind them that he was stronger than most of them, despite of his size. The first challenger stepped up, and Thor eyed him dangerously. They begin to circle each other, before they finally struck. It was more difficult than usual, because of the ice, but Thor felt like he had an advantage because the other Frost Giant was bigger, and also a bit less graceful. The other one was good - very good to be honest. Thor found himself being in a very dangerous position a few times but luckily, he managed to get out of these situations and even turn them around whenever it happened. It took him a few minutes to defeat him, and when he had, he turned his eyes to Loki, waiting to see if he wanted him to fight again, hoping to get some reaction out of him. Hoping he had impressed him. But none of that was visible in Loki's expression.  
  
"Fight until someone beats you." Loki ordered.

  


Thor's face fell at Loki's words. He had expected some sort of praise, or at the very least an acknowledgement of his good work, but now he was set to fight until someone would beat him. There were still a lot of warriors left, and as good as he was, he doubted he could take down all of them. Still, he would try his best, to show everyone here that he was better than they gave him credit for. He started with the second one, and defeated him even faster than the last one. Pleased with himself, but still not allowing himself to become cocky just yet, he motioned for the next one to come forward. In that ring, he did everything he could to show off his skill, his strength, and his stamina. He defeated one frost giant after the other, and he came close to losing a couple of times, but he always managed to beat them in the end. He used his size to his advantage, and no matter how much his opponents looked like they could tear him to shreds, he never let it get to him. Finally, when he defeated about twenty-three warriors, he was beginning to realise just how tired he was. His body was exhausted, and he was not sure how much longer he could go on, but he was not going to give up. Instead, he tried to fight the next one, and he did a rather good job at first, but then he could practically feel his own legs give up, and he dropped his weapon to the ground. Panting, he watched as the warrior raised his own weapon, and he managed to duck and roll away from the attack one last time, but he ended up too far from his weapon, and when the warrior turned around, he was promptly pinned to the ground. Frustrated, he lay there on the ground with the other warrior smirking down at him, waiting to see what the prince would have to say about him losing.  
  
"Get up."

Loki said and Thor immediately struggled to stand up again. His legs were still a bit weak but he forced himself to remain standing because to fall down again at this very moment would be a sign of weakness, and not only would that lower the prince's opinion of him, it would cause the other warriors to make fun of him even more.

"Thor, before you come with me again to get something to eat you will go and wash yourself. After all I don't want to have someone next to me who smells like sweat. I'll wait for you in my room, but don't waste more time than necessary." Loki announced and turned around on his heels, leaving the training yard. He nodded his head at Loki's order, and stayed in his place, watching him leave with a small sigh. Of course, just as he had suspected, the warriors all turned their eyes to him the moment Loki was gone, and the one who had just defeated him sneered, once again calling him the prince's little pet.

"You're not as strong as you think you are," he said, and Thor waited a moment before turning to look at him.

"Had you been the first one, I would have defeated you in a matter of minutes." The other warrior looked furious, but Thor ignored it, giving them all a look before following the prince into the palace.

Once he was back in his room, he stripped himself of his clothes, armor and washed himself up, hissing a few times at the new scrapes and bruises. He was used to pain. The other warriors were bigger than him, and therefore they could easier cause damage to him, but luckily he was strong enough to look past it. After he'd washed himself he got dressed properly again and went over to knock on the prince's door. He wondered what he would have him do now. To be honest, he was not sure what a personal guard was even needed for, unless the prince's safety was in danger. But Loki seemed to be able to handle himself just fine. Still, he was honored to have been given this assignment, and he was planning on doing a good job.

It didn't take long until the door was finally opened and Thor stepped in, moving past the two servants with a small smile on his lips, immediately noticing Loki on the bed. He wondered if he would always be laying on his bed whenever he saw him. It was... Well to be honest, it was difficult to not think about touching Loki in rather inappropriate ways when he was constantly laying down. Of course Thor knew he wasn't supposed to think like this, which was why he really wished Loki would be standing up when he entered the room. It would be easier to take his mind off those thoughts.

"I'd like to hear what you think about the fight. Do you think you did a great job out there?" Loki asked without even greeting him.

Hesitating a moment, he furrowed his brow for a few seconds before opening his mouth to answer.

"I think I could have done better, your highness." He had fought as hard as he could, but he knew he would be able to defeat all of them, he just needed more training first. He was already stronger and better than most of them, he simply needed to work on his endurance and stamina. And after his answer, Thor patiently waited for Loki to reply. He expected anything except what he heard then.

Loki laughed. He expected him to agree because of course he could've done better. But he clearly didn't expect the laughter and therefore he was caught off guard, not really know what to do or to say. He felt rather embarrassed if he was to be honest.

"Yes, you clearly could've done better!" Loki finally said, still laughing, shaking his head.

Thor ended up just standing there, silently waiting for what else Loki could have to say to him. And when he actually did, it was a relief and Thor felt a little less useless again.

"We will start working on your stamina tomorrow." Loki continued and started walking towards the door to leave the room.

"Come." Loki said again, gesturing towards him to make Thor understand that he was to follow him.

Thor quickly bowed his head and followed him out of the room, once again walking a few steps behind Loki because he figured that this was where his place would be. He was not meant to walk next to the prince. After all, they were not equals. He was simply the warrior chosen to protect him. Nothing more. But Thor had to admit that this position once again offered quite a beautiful view to him. He wanted so badly to look but always tried to keep his eyes away from this delicate back.

When they entered the large dining hall, Thor looked around, trying to keep it as subtle as possible despite of how impressed he was. . He was not used to these kind of big rooms. He had grown up simple, and his house had been very small. To suddenly find himself amongst royals...It was a big change.

"Oh, brother!" it was Helblindi, Thor knew that by now. "Since when is it common to take a slave with you?"

Loki's youngest brother laughed when he sat down and Thor felt his guts twist at this word. He frowned lightly when one of Loki's brothers called him a slave. He would like to think he was more than just a slave. He was the prince's personal guard. Of course, he did have to do whatever Loki told him to do, but he was not his servant, and he was certainly not his slave.

"You're just jealous because I'm the one who will be called a saviour for saving our realm!" Loki quipped back, a sly smirk on his lips. His younger brother let out a growl.

"Watch it, Loki! You still don't know if you can do it!" and with that, Helblindi leaned back to continue eating.

He wondered for a moment what the brothers were talking about, and what Loki was supposed to do to save the realm, but he assumed it was none of his business, and he probably wouldn't find out.

"Thor. Come, sit. You are free to eat whatever you wish to." Loki suddenly said to him, gesturing towards the chair next to him.

Thor had been planning on standing up the entire time, and he took his position behind Loki's chair, but then he was told to sit and he gave him a surprised look that he quickly tried to hide. There was so much food. Almost too much. Way more than Thor had ever seen in his life, and he sat down and wondered for a moment how he was supposed to choose. Doing his best not to stare too much, he slowly put some meat, bread, and fruit on his plate. It was a bit overwhelming and he was utterly amazed by the food on the table. It was strange because he almost felt uncomfortable with this amount of food. But as amazed as he was by the food, he was even more amazed by the smile Loki suddenly had on his lips. Thor surpressed a light frown.

"I hope you'll like it. You will dine with me all the time if you are doing a good job - like I already said. Eat well, you will need your strength tomorrow."

So far, the prince had not been very welcoming to him, and it was somewhat strange to see him smile like that. It wasn't that he necessarily believed Loki was rude or unfriendly. After all, he understood that Loki was a prince, and Thor was no more than his personal guard, and therefore he could treat him however he liked. He did not need to treat him as he would a friend, or even an acquaintance. Thor was here to protect him, and to follow orders, and the only thing Loki really had to do was to give him those orders. Other than that, he did not need to do anything for Thor, and he certainly did not need to treat him with respect. He was surprised to find out he would be dining with Loki from now on, if he did a good job, of course, but he did have every intention of doing a good job. He did not want to disappoint Loki, or make him feel like he had made the wrong choice and picked the wrong warrior. He was going to do everything he could to make Loki... Maybe making him like him was too difficult, but he would like to make him feel like he had made the right decision by picking him.

"Thank you, your highness," he said, putting a small piece of bread into his mouth. It was really good, and after only a couple of minutes, Thor was not too nervous anymore. He loved the food, and he felt very lucky to be eating it, since he knew it was nothing compared to what he would have been eating back at his own house. It did not take him very long to finish, and when he did, he turned his eyes down, once again waiting for Loki to tell him what to do.

Out of the corners of his eyes he could see that Loki jumped off his chair.

"Follow me."

Thor wondered for a moment if this was going to be his life now. Always following Loki around. Mostly staying silent while watching the prince and making sure nothing happened to him. To be honest, it did not seem as if Loki was in any danger. Thor saw no reason for anyone to want to harm him, at least not around here. But, he should not be complaining. This was his job, he had accepted it knowing full well what the terms and conditions would be. Did it really matter if he could no longer do whatever he wanted to do? This was a very prestigious position, and he was going to be proud of it. Besides, it did give him a chance to be close to Loki, which was of course a very good thing for him since he did have some feelings for him. He could not act on these feelings, but he could hope that he could at least get Loki to like him, if even just a little bit.

He stood up, bowed his head to Loki's brothers, and turned around to follow him. Since he did not know the palace and did not know where everything was, he had no idea where Loki was going. He was pretty sure they were not heading in the direction of Loki's room, though. And it turned out he was right. When they entered the large room after a couple of minutes he looked up, scanning the room. Or rather hall- it was huge and Thor was impressed by the amount of books in here. The library. Thor had never cared much for books though, but he had heard that the prince loved them. Thor continued to walk behind Loki, still looking around at all the books, but throwing glances at the prince every few seconds. He seemed to look for a certain book and when he found it Loki sat down on the couch.

"Can you read?" Loki asked. "I know that the majority of the warriors can't."

"I can read, my prince. Not well and I have never truly cared for books but... Yes, I do know how to read."

Loki nodded, remaining silent.

Thor had been taught when he was younger. He was a slow reader, though, and perhaps that was one of the reasons why books had never been something that interested him. He did not have the patience to get through them. He supposed he understood the appeal, in some ways, but usually he wondered why anyone would want to read about adventures in books when you could go out and experience so much on your own. He was a warrior after all and that was why he was more interested in experiencing these adventures for himself.

He stayed in his spot for quite some time, but eventually his legs were becoming a bit stiff, so he started walking around, still staying close enough to keep his eyes on Loki. It was quite interesting, to be honest, to watch him read. Or... practice? Thor figured he was practicing a certain spell because at times the markings on Loki's skin began to glow. It was a bright blue, almost white colour. Not too bright, though. He could still look at Loki without fearing his eyes would hurt from the light. The dark blue skin and the light. The way he was surrounded by it. Making him glow. It almost looked like he wasn't just a prince, but a divine creature. Thor had not seen a lot of magic being used in his life, and he was therefore utterly intrigued at the sight. Tilting his head to the side, he took a couple of steps closer, watching him with an awed look on his face. It seemed almost impossible, but for some reason Loki looked even more beautiful now. Something about his patterns becoming more visible than normal...It was amazing to watch, and he stood there for quite some time before he began to move around a bit again, not wanting to be caught staring. He only went back when Loki moved and he was surprised to find Loki smiling lightly.

"Are you tired? I am. I guess this would be a good time to go to sleep." Loki commented and let out a yawn.

Thor thought it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen.

"Will it?"

"Yes it will. We will work on your stamina tomorrow. I always get the best things so I want you to be the best warrior in Jötunheimr. Everything else would be a waste. I expect only the best of you. If you turn out to be weaker than I expected I will have to find someone else. Someone better or someone who will put more effort in this job."

Thor looked down at his words. He felt... not particularly intimidated but it was some weird kind of pressure upon him. He had to make sure he remained in this position. He didn't want to lose this job so he promised himself to do his best. To not let himself give up when he was exhausted next time - like he did today.

He was actually about to protest and tell Loki that he already was the best warrior in Jötunheimr, but thought better of it and decided to keep his mouth shut. Obviously he had been defeated earlier that day, but it was only because he had been fighting all of them in a row. Had he been allowed to rest, he knew he would have beaten every single one of them. He was better. That was why so many of them disliked him, because they knew he was better than them, despite his smaller stature. Even if they were bigger, and perhaps in some ways stronger, he was still able to defeat them. So yes, Thor did believe he was the best one here, but he did acknowledge that he was not as good as he wanted to be. To be as good as he wanted to be, he would have to train, and make sure he was strong enough to beat all of them at once. For that, he would have to practice.

"One of my servants will wake you up tomorrow." Loki then added and again, Thor followed him back to his chamber, returning to his own then when Loki simply vanished in the bathroom without caring to wishing him a good night. Thor closed the door behind him and let out a sigh when silence fell around him. So far, the prince did not seem like he was willing to make much of an effort to have them get along, but of course Thor realised that was not his job. They were not supposed to be friends, he was only here to protect Loki. He knew that of course, but it was a shame anyway and Thor found himself a little sad about it. Shedding his clothes, he crawled into bed, falling asleep after only a few minutes, his mind on Loki, and what the next day would have in store for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Thor slept soundly throughout the entire night, and only woke up when he felt the sunlight washing over his face. Opening his eyes, he blinked against the bright light and realised after a few seconds that there was someone in the room with him. Making sure he was still covered by the blanket, he sat up, pushing his hair back and taking a good look at the girl. 

"Thor, my lord?" she said while she pulled back the curtains that held back the sun. She turned around when she heard Thor moving in his bed. "It is time to wake up. Are you alright? I heard that you've been fighting the other guards a lot yesterday. I hope you didn't get hurt?"

She was pretty - very pretty - and he remembered seeing her the other day and that she'd been the one to put the bracelet on him. She had large eyes and a round face even if she was pretty thin. Thor could see firm muscles that moved under her skin when she had pulled the curtains to the side. Strong arms but small shoulders. Her horns were still rather small and her bare head was decorated with pretty tattoos. Probably old runes. 

He was surprised that she bothered to ask if he was alright. Perhaps because he was not used to anyone asking such things. He spent most of his time surrounded by the other warriors and none of them ever bothered to check on the other ones, should they be hurt. And Loki had not exactly seemed like he truly cared about his well-being at all. It was nice to have someone sound like they genuinely cared about him. It made Thor feel appreciated and he missed this feeling most of the time.

"No, I am alright. Thank you." he told her, giving her a genuine smile. "I just needed a good night's sleep." he watched her for a moment, slowly tilting his head to the side as he let out a chuckle. 

"It is Ragna, right?" he thought that was what Loki had called her. It was difficult to remember because he had mostly been focusing on the prince. 

Ragna nodded at his question and turned around to him. "Yes, Ragna." she replied. "It's nice to see that you remember my name." the girl added with a short bow. She hesitated for a moment before taking a few steps closer to him. 

It was good to know he had gotten her name right. And Ragna seemed like a kind person, though he wondered if she ever talked this much to Loki. From what he'd seen and based on their reaction he doubted they spoke more than a few words to each other here and there.

"I've seen you yesterday. It was amazing! I am not surprised that the prince chose you. You are very talented." Ragna complimented him with a light chuckle, then turning to one of the tables to grab a bowl, only to take it to the washing area in the room. She filled the bowl with clean water and carried it towards the bedside cabinet before grabbing a cloth, dipping it in the water, hanging it over the bowl in case Thor wanted to wash himself before appearing in the prince's room.

"Thank you, that is very kind of you to say. But I could have done better. I should have defeated all of them, and yet I failed to do so." But now he would get to train, and he hoped he would get better as quickly as possible. If Loki wanted him to defeat all of the guards, he would defeat all of the guards. It was as simple as that. 

"You're too modest, my lord. Are you enjoying your stay so far?"

"I am, yes." he had not gotten to do much so far. He had fought the other warriors, but other than that, he had mostly just followed Loki around all day. And he had not really spoken to him. Nevertheless, he believed it to be easier to tell her he was enjoying it, instead of trying to tell her the truth. 

"That is good to hear. The last guard he chose didn't adapt so well. But I really hope you're going to do better."

"I hope so too. Thank you for your kind words, Ragna. They did me good this morning."

"It was my pleasure, my lord. And... if there is anything else you need or anything you would like to know you can always ask me. I've lived here my whole life so I am sure I could help you with these things. But not now. The prince is already waiting for you so you should go in now." Ragna quickly said and bowed to him, leaving the room to leave Thor alone so he could get dressed and prepare himself for breakfast.

Thor was definitely happy to finally have someone he could talk to. Someone who was kind to him and even offered to help. He wondered if relationships between maids and guards were frowned upon. He figured they were, especially if it was about the prince's personal guard. Not that he had any intention of courting her. He already had feelings for Loki, though, on the other hand, he knew nothing could ever happen between Loki and him. It seemed as though he would be spending quite a bit of time in solitude. He could not be with Loki, and he doubted he would be allowed to be with anyone else.  
After washing and dressing himself, Thor took one last look at himself in the mirror before turning around and leaving the room, entering Loki's room instead.

And there he was again. Loki was sitting on a chair in front of the mirror and he looked gorgeous like always. He was so beautiful and Thor swallowed, looking down on the floor when he realised he had been staring at him again. He shouldn't stare. He didn't want Loki to realise anything. Not just because it was ridiculous because how could a prince ever develop any sort of feelings for him? There was not even the slightest chance. But he didn't want him to find out because he didn't particularly want to be killed by Laufey either.

"Good morning." Loki's voice greeted him and Thor looked up.

"Good morning, my prince." Thor replied.

He looked gorgeous. Silky harem trousers, loosely braided hair. Jewellery all over his upper body. And he smelled like lemons. A smile appeared on Thor's lips. Maybe life in solitude wouldn't be that bad, considering he could have this each morning from now on. 

"I bet you are hungry?" Loki asked and Thor was already about to respond but Loki stood up and left the room already. Thor frowned when he did but then again... he should probably get used to this so he hurried after Loki, once again making sure to walk a few steps behind him. Even if Thor was hoping Loki would've said something to him... he didn't. During the whole time while they were walking towards the dining hall, there was a complete silence between them. 

Thor wondered if Loki would ever speak more than a few words to him at the time, or if they would always be this quiet. Then again, Ragna had confirmed that the prince did not often speak to her, and since he assumed she had been working here for a long time, it seemed as though the chance of Loki speaking to him was next to none. It shouldn't bother him, but he did not much care for the thought of spending... however long he was supposed to remain as the prince's personal guard in silence. It was alright so far, but it would probably get a bit boring after a while, especially since he really did not have much to do, since there wasn't really a big threat and there was no one around to protect the prince from. He was going to be allowed to train today, though, and that was a good thing, because at least that would give him something to do. He was really looking forward to it, even though he assumed Loki would push him a lot.

"Loki. My treasure." Laufey said when they entered the dining hall and Thor immediately bowed down. "I hope you are adjusting well to the palace, Thor?" the king continued and Thor nodded once at his question. 

"How are you doing with the spell, child?" now Laufey was addressing Loki again. 

As soon as Laufey started talking to his soon, he made sure to tilt his eyes down, watching the floor because he did not want to make it seem like he was trying to listen to their conversation. After all, whatever spell they were talking about, he assumed it was absolutely none of his business, and therefore he had no right to listen.

"I'm working on it." Loki replied and Laufey nodded, giving his son a long look before he turned and left the dining hall with heavy steps. Loki didn't lose much time before he made his way over to the table and Thor made sure to follow his steps, wondering if he could sit next to him again, like he had been doing yesterday. 

And as if Loki had heard what he was thinking about, he suddenly offered exactly this again.

"Sit down and eat. You'll need your strength."

"Thank you, my lord." Thor answered, sitting down next to Loki and waiting a moment before grabbing some bread to eat. He would indeed need his strength today, especially if Loki was going to make sure he trained as hard as he suspected he would. It was going to be a challenging day, but Thor was looking forward to it. He wondered if Ragna would watch him again, though he suspected maybe she would have other things to do. Nevertheless, he was already excited about talking to her again.

Eating in silence, he wondered for about a second if perhaps he could ask Loki about Ragna, but he realised immediately how stupid that idea was. First of all, Loki might not want to tell him, second of all, he might not even know anything about her, and third of all, it would seem more appropriate to ask her in person. Deciding to ask her next time he saw her, he ate the last piece of bread on his plate and sat back in his chair. 

****

By now Loki was sure it had been the right decision. Thor didn't seem to be like the others and this was not just because of his physical appearance. Something about him was different even if Loki couldn't quite put his finger on it yet. He guessed he had to find out for himself - if he'd even find it out at some day. It was actually not his business but on the other side.. he was the prince and he had the right to know everything about his servants. Especially if they were his personal servants - or rather guards. After all he needed to know who he was dealing with. Not that Thor was a threat for him. He was not. If they would be talking about threats it would be the other way round. 

But he could already notice the difference on the first day. He had been right after all. Thor was listening to his orders. He could clearly remember the last guard whom he had ordered to sit and wait in his room until he woke up. He hadn't. 

Loki got rid of him. 

Thor had listened. He had been in the room to wait the entire time during his sleep and Loki was pleased to see the blond man when he woke up yesterday. It seemed as if Thor was smarter than his predecessor.

He didn't even protest when he ordered him to fight until someone would beat him. It almost looked like he desperately wanted to win though and Loki wondered why that was. Did he simply try to do his job as best as he could? Or did he want to impress him? Anyway, it was good to see just how good he was following his orders. Loki enjoyed this and he figured he would have a lot of fun with this in the future. 

But today he would continue to see how far he could go. How far he could push Thor until he would reach the edge of his patience and obedience. He was just too curious. Too interested in him. Thor was just different and Loki loved experimenting. It was the perfect opportunity. 

"Ymir!" he called and another servant hurried to the table, looking stressed because of Loki's annoyed tone in his voice. 

"Y- yes, your highness?"

"Go and prepare the horse." he simply ordered, not even bothering to look at her. She bowed down and hurried out of the room immediately.

When he was finished with his breakfast as well, Loki stood up and left the room. He already expected Thor to follow him around without being told to do so. He lead them through another long hallway and down the stairs until they reached a large barn with three horses. They were all black and had strong muscles. They were tall and Loki had to admit that he was proud of them. He loved horses. Not just because they were utterly beautiful, strong and majestic but because they were the only ones he could touch. No one said anything when he touched the horses and Loki relished it. Of course the horses could never touch him but to be able to feel something alive under his palm was... calming. It made him feel less weird.

Loki smiled and walked towards one of them who was already saddled, stroking it's neck. Horses were utterly rare and especially in Jötunheimr they were almost extinguished. Laufey had brought the three of them back home after a fight in Nilfheim as a present for him and Loki was grateful because this had been the first time he'd ever seen a horse in reality and not in his books. Without hesitating, he got on and then turned his eyes towards Thor.

"In order to improve your stamina, you'll be running today. I will be right next to you." he said and moved out of the barn, pointing into the direction of the hills that climbed up to the sky after a large area of a dry and icy steppe. 

"Svaðilfari can reach that mountain in four hours running without a stop. I want you to reach it, if possible. If not, just stop running and we will return home for this day. Understood?"

Loki watched Thor carefully and he looked a bit... irritated. Loki dared to say even startled. Surprised even. It almost looked like Thor didn't really look forward to running for the rest of the day. But this was how stamina was improved so Loki saw no reason to let Thor fight today. First things first after all - and stamina was important to be able to fight over a long period of time. 

"Understood, my lord." Thor said, bowing his head. He seemed to make himself ready to start running. 

"Good. Come on." Loki replied and started following him, making Svaðilfari go with a slow gallop until he caught up to Thor. Loki doubted they would make it to the mountains today - after all it was utterly far away and he already assumed that Thor would need a bit of practice before he could make it. Loki wanted the best and nothing else. And if the best he could get could be improved - it would be improved and so far Thor seemed to be willing to do everything Loki told him to do. Though Loki felt almost odd about what was happening, considering he started thinking about Thor as his own. Not his personal guard - his own. And he would make him perfect, even if it would take much time. 

Loki started to push his horse a little further, testing if Thor would catch up by himself or continue with his own pace. He wanted to see how far Thor would go. Would he stop when he noticed he could not run any longer? Would he continue and push himself until he collapsed? He couldn't tell now but he was sure it wouldn't take too long for him to find out. He was just too curious and he was sure he would never get bored to seeing Thor like this. Seeing the struggle in his eyes and the will to continue. It was exciting and once again he realised that choosing Thor had been the right decision. 

****

Thor was not used to running this much. After all, he was a warrior, and his job was to stay and fight instead of running away. Obviously he understood that this would ultimately be good for his stamina, and he would improve much if he could try this a couple of times, but right now he kind of wished he was back with the other warriors and training with them. At least he would be able to use his strength, he would be able to show that he was better than all of them. This? He was far too restless for this, which seemed silly because he was moving around, but it wasn't the kind of moving he wanted to do. Nevertheless, he kept running, picking up speed when Loki rode past him. 

He could tell after a while that he would not be able to reach that mountain today, but he kept on pushing himself. After a few hours, though, he was beginning to tire, and he realised he had two choices, either he kept on running until his legs gave up, or he admitted defeat and asked Loki to stop. He did not want to collapse in front of the prince a second time, but he knew he was not ready to stop just yet. It would be embarrassing either way. He didn't want to disappoint Loki and he didn't want him to think he was weak. Therefore, he kept on running, pushing himself for another thirty minutes, before he finally came to a stop, leaning forward and putting his hands on his knees. He estimated that he had been running for about six hours, but because he was long not as fast as a horse, he had not made it all the way to the mountain. Maybe he would have been able to do it, had he been allowed a few short breaks, and been given something to drink. Right now, though, he was exhausted, and he breathed heavily, keeping his eyes on the ground. He did not dare to look up.

"Good boy." Loki said and Thor looked up a little, still breathing heavily to see Loki patting Svaðilfari's neck before they came back until they stood in front of him.

"How are you feeling?" Loki asked. "I hope you are not too exhausted. We still need to get back before sundown."

Thor couldn't help but think that Loki watched him with curious eyes. What was he thinking? He was surprised that Loki even bothered to ask him how he was feeling, but he couldn't answer him at the moment since he was still trying to catch his breath. That had been difficult, but he wished he would have been able to run a bit further. Actually, he probably would have been able to do just that, but then he could have potentially collapsed again, and he didn't want that. He wanted to show Loki he was smart enough to stop before he got too tired, though at the same time he did not want to make it seem like he had simply given up. He hoped, though, that Loki knew he had done the best he could.

When Loki told him they needed to get back before sundown, Thor closed his eyes for a few seconds and nodded his head before finally straightening back up. He was not looking forward to making his way back again, not at all, and he hoped he would be allowed to walk. Maybe he couldn't walk the entire way, because then they would never make it back before sundown, but maybe he could at least rest for a little while every now and then. He knew he would not be able to run all the way back. 

"I am alright, your highness," he said, clearing his throat and wishing he had something to drink. "I am ready to head back." he said, hoping his body would do what his mind wanted.

Loki's eyes squinted a bit and he raised his chin, licking his lips. 

"Alright, then head back." the prince finally said and a second later, Svaðilfari was already moving back to the palace again in a slow gallop.

Nodding his head, Thor started a light jog, wondering if he was expected to keep up with Loki and the horse, or if he would be allowed to walk. He could already tell that his legs would not be able to carry him all the way back. How could they? He had stopped because he knew he couldn't get any further, but now he was supposed to get back to the palace, and he had no idea how he was going to find the strength to do that. He somehow managed to go on for quite some time, but at one point his legs began to shake, and he stumbled, falling forward to the ground. Dirt was soaring into his face when he hit the ground and he coughed when he inhaled some dust.

Closing his eyes, he took a couple of deep breaths after managing to get his head up. Before Loki had time to say something, before he had time to call him weak, he shook his head and forced himself back up again. Taking another couple of deep breaths, he pushed himself to keep going, telling himself that soon enough he would be back in his bed again, and perhaps in the morning he would get to talk to Ragna again. That was a small comfort. 

"Stop!" Loki suddenly said and Thor could see him jumping off the horse. 

He frowned and curiously watched the prince pulling out a thick blanket made out of fur out of the bag that hung over the horse's back. Afterwards he grabbed the waterskin he'd taken with him, handing it towards Thor. 

"Here. You must be thirsty."

Thor looked at the waterskin for a few seconds, staring at Loki until he hesitantly reached out and took the waterskin, giving Loki a small bow before eagerly drinking the cool water. Water had never tasted so good, and he drank quite a bit from it, looking over at Loki again when he spoke to him.

"Get on the horse and hold on somewhere when you've finished drinking."

Again, he frowned, tilting his head to the side as he wondered if he had heard correctly. Was Loki truly offering him a chance not to walk back? To be honest, from what Thor had seen of him so far, he had not expected such kindness. He was very grateful, though, and as soon as he had finished drinking, he stepped up to the horse and got on its back, sitting down behind Loki.

"Thank you," he said. He still could not quite believe that the prince was doing this for him, and he let out a relieved sigh because if he would have had to walk all the way back, he probably would not have been able to get out of bed the next day. 

"Hold onto the saddle or somewhere. If you touch me I'll have your hand cut off." Loki said as soon as Thor sat on the horse right behind him.

Thor raised his eyebrows at the threat, but made sure not to touch Loki, opting instead to hold onto the saddle as he had been instructed. He had never been on a horse before, and it was a bit difficult to find the right balance to stay on it, but after a while he got used to it, and he could take a moment to rest up a bit and to appreciate just how close he was to the prince. Too close almost. It was odd because it was again utterly tempting to touch Loki. He was within reach already and he desperately wanted to know how his skin felt. But for now he figured he had to be satisfied with the fact that he was utterly close to him. Probably closer than anyone else had been before. Close than he had ever thought he would be.

Then when they arrived at the palace he got off on quite shaky legs and looked up when Loki addressed him again. 

"You are free to do whatever you want to for the rest of the day. I do not want to be disturbed this evening. Ragna will wake you up tomorrow again." Loki said and turned around, making his way inside of the palace without even waiting for an answer. Again. 

Thor nodded, smiling when he was told that Ragna would be waking him up again. 

Once he had watched the prince disappear into the palace, he followed him inside, walking all the way over to his own room before collapsing on the bed immediately. Normally, he probably would have made sure to train outside, perhaps spar with some other warrior for an hour or two, but he was exhausted. He stayed on the bed for quite some time before he pushed himself up, forcing himself to wash. He managed to find a servant and asked to have some food brought to his room. He figured he should have some sort of privileges as the prince's personal guard. He ate in silence, completely alone and by the time he was finished, he was so tired there was nothing else to do for him but go right back to bed, falling asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow with his mind still on the view he had back on Svaðilfari's back and the way it had looked like when the prince's hair had been bouncing with every step his horse took and how hypnotising it had been. 

****

As soon as Loki entered the palace again, he headed straight to his meditation room where he locked himself up for the next hours. After all Laufey had told him to practice again today. He did this frequently and in the last months even more so to increase his willpower. To get more strength and to slowly get his mind being used to a certain extend of exhaustion because while he was here, he always tried to cast the spell he needed. Not fully of course because he was not ready yet - but to a certain extend until he felt his body giving in. And every time this happened, he tried to push himself further because he still had a lot to learn before he would be able to do what he was here for. To do what his father told him he had to. Everyone would be grateful when he was finally able to do this. 

Only when he found that he couldn't go any further tonight he decided it was enough for today and then he opened his eyes again, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down before he headed back to his own chambers. Some of his servants had brought him fruits and something to drink. He ate, bathed and then let himself fall into his bed. It was not that he was physically tired but his mind desperately needed some rest after his studies today so he curled himself up under his blankets and slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

Oddly enough his mind lingered on Thor tonight and presented him his laugh during his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! It's really motivating to see that people actually read the story uvu!!


	4. Chapter 4

Since Thor had gone to bed so early, he woke up quite early, and this time he did not have to blink against any bright light. Turning around so that he was laying on his back, he looked up at the ceiling and wondered what he would be forced to do today. It was weird because he had never thought he would wake up and wonder what he would be forced to do. But now he was and it was an odd feeling. He did not mean to make it sound like he regretted taking this job because he was very grateful for being chosen, and he knew being the prince's personal guard was a great honour... But so far he had not enjoyed it as much as he had thought he would. Thor was not sure what he had expected though. Perhaps his feelings for Loki had made him think he would be treated differently? But so far Loki had treated him... Well, Thor supposed he had been treating him like a royal could treat the people working for him. He should not have expected anything other than this. Of course he was not here to get close to Loki. He would have to get used to being told what to do, without expecting any sort of gratitude for it. Eventually, after laying in bed for quite some time, he heard the door open and he had to smile when he realised it was Ragna who entered the room - probably to wake him. She looked surprised to see him already awake, and he sat up, pushing some hair out of his face. 

 

"Good morning," he greeted her.

 

"Good morning." she replied and opened the curtains yet again before returning to Thor.

 

"Did you sleep well? I've heard about the run yesterday. How far did you go? If you don't mind me asking of course."

 

Thor tilted his eyes down for a few seconds when she opened the curtains due to the bright light. Blinking, he looked back up again to see she sat down on the bed, and he found it funny that she was already comfortable enough to do that. He wondered if she would ever do something like this with Loki. Granted, Loki was a prince and not just a guard, but he still thought it showed the differences of how they treated the people around them. 

 

"I slept very well, thank you. I was exhausted when we got back." 

 

He was surprised she had heard about the run, and now he wondered how many more knew about it. Had everyone heard? Thor had a feeling the other warriors would tease him for it. 

 

"I believe I ran for five or six hours I believe. Then we turned back, and I ran for... perhaps almost an hour before the prince was generous enough to let me ride on the horse with him."

 

"By all nine realms..." she mumbled and tilted her head. Though she seemed to be even more surprised when Thor added the fact that Loki let him ride on his horse. 

 

"He did?" she asked just to be sure. "You'd be the first one then. One of the guards before you- that guard was very young so he was about your size... Loki ordered him to do this as well. Running to that mountain but when he collapsed Loki simply returned home, telling him he should follow him as soon as he found the strength to do so." she explained. "He was executed for insulting him because of that. You should've seen the prince's face."

 

Thor felt his heart sink again while listening to her story. To think that someone else in his position had been executed, after doing just what he had done... It was not a very comforting thought. Thor hoped, though, that he would be smart enough not to insult the prince. Nevertheless, he was seeing an entirely different side to Loki, and Thor was beginning to wonder if perhaps his feelings for him were a bit misplaced. Loki had been kind when offering to let him ride on the horse, but he had obviously not been so kind in the past. Had he perhaps learnt his lesson? Maybe the prince was kinder these days? Thor hoped he was, because he had no intention of getting executed. Ragna's story definitely made him realise just how careful he had to be. He'd already been trying his best to make sure not to step out of line, but now he had to be even more careful, unless he wanted to potentially get himself killed.

 

Ragna waited patiently but when she saw Thor was drifting away in his thoughts she wondered if she had said something wrong. Thor's expression had changed and he almost seemed somewhat... disappointed? Confused? She couldn't say for sure but what she knew was that it had to be something concerning what she just told him. 

 

"Thor?" Ragna suddenly said and when Thor looked up again, he needed a moment to realise he had probably been thinking about this for a bit too long. 

 

"I'm sorry did I... you look troubled." she noticed and licked her lips a little nervously. 

 

"Forgive me," he said, giving her a small smile. "I suppose when you hear that one of your predecessors was executed for something that could have easily happened to you...It gets you thinking." 

 

He wasn't particularly scared of dying, and never had been, but he did not enjoy the thought of being executed. He did like his life, even though it wasn't quite what he wanted it to be, and he had no intention of getting himself killed because of a mistake he could've easily avoided.

 

"No, you don't need to apologise." Ragna said with a short chuckle. She nodded and sighed heavily, looking at the door that lead to the prince's room. It almost looked like she was considering something serious but all Thor could do was wait for her to eventually speak up - which she did, luckily.

 

"It won't happen to you. I am not even sure if I am even allowed to know this but I've overheard a conversation between Loki and his father. Laufey said that you are the only one he would never execute even if Loki would want him to."

 

Thor tilted his head to the side when she told him it would not happen to him, a light frown on his face. She sounded so sure about it, and he wondered if she was just trying to make him feel better, or if there was something else he should know about. 

 

"I do not understand," he said, slowly shaking his head. "Why would he not execute me? I mean, I do not wish to be executed, of course, but... Why not me? What is so special about me?" It did not make any sense. He was just a warrior. Granted, he was the best warrior here, but he had a feeling that would not be enough for Laufey to decide he would not want to execute him. So... What could it be?

 

Ragna shook her head. "I am sorry but I don't know. That was all I could hear. I was walking past the throne room when I overheard this conversation and I am still pretty sure I am not even allowed to know something like this. And since it is something that is not exactly unimportant... I feel like you should know. After all this conversation was about you. Laufey has a reason for everything he's doing and- Loki wasn't always like this. He was raised to be like this so... maybe it's a good thing that you're basically untouchable as well. It gives you the power to give him contra."

 

He shook his head when she apologised, because she had already done more than enough by telling him this. There was no reason for her to be sorry for not being able to give him the whole story. It did make him a little uneasy, to know that the king must know something about him that he did not. After all, Thor really did not believe that Laufey would spare him from execution simply because he was a good warrior. It had to be something else, but what? What could possibly be so special about him? It was frustrating, because he had no way of finding out the truth. He could obviously not go up to the king and ask him. 

 

"Yes, I suppose," he said, still frowning as he tried to figure out what was going on. "You're right." He nodded his head. "It is a good thing. Thank you for telling me this." 

 

Ragna nodded and stood up. "I've known Loki from the day he was born. He was wonderful but... even I do not understand why Laufey raised him to be like this." she sighed and shook his head. "But enough of that. Get ready and wait for Loki to wake up - he's exhausted from yesterday's meditation so... he is still sleeping. You can go in... just do not wake him up." she added and then turned to leave the room. "If there is anything else... you know. Just ask." and with that he left Thor alone again so he could get ready for the day. 

 

****

 

Thor washed and dressed himself when Ragna left the room. And once he was done, he walked over to Loki's chamber, his eyes immediately falling onto Loki who almost vanished in the bed. He was wrapped between several furs and Thor could see his long limbs, the delicate skin and the soft features on his skin while he was sleeping. It was still easy for him to admit how beautiful he was when he was sleeping, even if his image of the prince had lessened a bit lately. Sitting down at the table, just like he'd done before, he relaxed and prepared himself for the possibility of having to wait a long time for the prince to finally wake up. 

 

"Thor?" Loki suddenly asked and Thor looked up to him again. 

 

Luckily it didn't take him that long. Thor was not sure - maybe it had been an hour? Anyway, the minutes went by surprisingly fast, as he was busy still thinking about the king, and what he could possibly want from him. He assumed that was the only reason he would be willing not to execute him - because he could use him, because he had something he needed. But...what? Thor did not understand what could be so special about him. He was just a warrior, a soldier, why did he matter so much to the king? Then again, Laufey hadn't actually done anything to him yet, he'd only said he wouldn't execute him. If he did have something he wanted, shouldn't he have found out by now? 

 

"Do your legs hurt or do you think you can continue training today?" Loki asked. 

 

"I can continue training today, your highness." Thor said, tilting his head down. To be honest, his legs did ache quite a bit, but he was not willing to let that stand in his way. He would not show any more signs of weakness

 

"Sure. But don't push yourself too hard. That's an order." he said with a slight hint of concern "I can't afford a guard who strains his body so much he can't walk." Loki added and started walking towards the dining hall, not even bothering to make himself ready. But he didn't really have to anyway. Loki was beautiful even when he had just woken up

 

"Understood, my prince." Thor said and quickly followed Loki out of the room, as always walking a few steps behind him. He would have to make sure not to push himself too hard then, if that was what Loki wanted. It was tricky, though, because while he did not want to push himself too hard, he also did not want to appear weak. There was a fine balance, and he would have to do his best to find it. 

 

But then they suddenly came to a stop and Thor watched as Loki turned around and opened his mouth, looking like he was about to say something. But nothing came. Thor waited patiently for the prince to speak, but he didn't. It looked as though he changed his mind, and before Thor knew it, he'd turned away again. Furrowing his brow in confusion again, Thor wondered what that had been all about. What was he going to tell him? Something about the day? Another order? But why would he decide not to say it? Thor was not sure what was going on anymore, but he decided that if Loki had been about to tell him something important, maybe he would get another chance to hear it. 

 

He followed Loki inside the dining hall as he tried to forget about that little incident and bowed deeply when he saw the queen Nál and when she spoke to them. 

 

"Ah - finally get to see you. Laufey told me that our son chose a rather unusual Frost Giant to be his guard." she said and leaned forward a little, observing Thor - almost trying to find something that indicated he was special.

 

He was not so sure what would be so unusual about him, other than that he was smaller than most of them. He almost felt a bit judged, and he wondered if she was thinking the same thing he had - why did he get chosen as Loki's personal guard? Did she know why Laufey would not execute him? Thor had no idea how many people did know, but no matter what, he figured no one would tell him. He would have to find out on his own.

 

"Sit down, eat well. You probably need it." Nál said and let out a chuckle. She continued to look at the warrior for a while before she eventually stood up and left the two of them alone, heading to the gardens. 

 

And so he did. It still felt weird to be able to dine next to the royal family - but he was hungry and he figured Nál was right. If he would have to run like yesterday again, he would need all his strength.

 

Thor turned his head and glanced over at Loki as he watched her disappear. He smiled at her. It looked like a genuine smile and there was deep affection in it that didn't alter until Nál was out of sight. It was unusual to see him smile so sincerely, and he could not help but think that he looked beautiful right now. He knew he should also remember all the not so very nice things he had done, but at the same time, he wanted to see the good in him. His experience as a personal guard had not been all bad so far, and he was going to remain hopeful, no matter how foolish it may have been.

 

"She kept asking me why I picked you the day you came here." Loki said and sighed, eating some of the bread. 

 

"If you do not mind my asking...Why did you pick me?"

 

He had been curious about it from the start, and he wondered if it was simply because of him defeating that other warrior, or if there was something else he was missing. Now that he knew Laufey thought there was something special about him, he wondered if he had been picked because of that. 

 

Loki frowned a little and shrugged shortly after. "I already told you." he then said and drank some of the water, putting the half-empty goblet back on the table before leaning back. 

 

"On your first day, did you forget? You asked me the same question already." he added turning around to look at him, seeing that Thor was still eating.

 

Yes, Thor remembered, but he had hoped that perhaps Loki would be able to tell him why he'd really been picked. He knew there was something else going on here, other than the fact that they were alike, and that he was a strong warrior. Maybe this proved that Loki was not aware of his father's reasons for wanting to keep him alive. It had to be important, for it to be such a secret. After all, why would Laufey not tell his son about this, especially since he had chosen Thor to be his personal guard? What could be so important that he would not want anyone to know? Thor was getting more and more confused by this situation, and now it was obvious that he would not be able to get an answer out of Loki.

 

"Yes, of course my lord. Forgive me." Thor said, turning his eyes down. 

 

Loki sighed and shook his head, standing up. "Come, we should get going." he announced and headed to the training yard again. 

 

Nodding his head, Thor followed Loki out of the room. He noticed on their way through the hallways that Loki seemed to be deep in thought, and part of him wanted to ask if there was something he wanted to talk about, but of course he realised quickly that the prince would not want to talk to him about whatever was going through his mind. Once they reached the training yard, Thor turned to Loki to wait for an order. And of course he did not have to wait that long for it.

 

"Go on. You know what I expect of you." Loki simply said. 

 

It was enough information for Thor to know where this was going again. So no running today but fighting again. He already figured that they would continue like this in the future. One day running and the second day fighting. 

 

He nodded his head again at his words. He knew what was expected from him, but he doubted he would be able to succeed today. His legs were still sore from the run yesterday, and he also knew that one single run would not be enough to improve his stamina enough to beat them all. Nevertheless, he left Loki's side and walked over to the other warriors, standing in the middle and asking if anyone dared challenge him. One stepped up, and Thor's eyes immediately turned to him, picking up his weapon to prepare himself. 

 

This time, he noticed quite quickly that he would not be able to defeat them all. In fact, he was not even sure if he would be able to defeat as many as he had done last time. He fought as hard as he could, beating one after the other, but when he'd gotten through just seven of them, his legs were beginning to protest. Still, he kept going, and didn't stop until his legs gave out once more and he found himself being hit by his current opponent. He hadn't been fast enough. Falling to the ground, Thor sighed in frustration when the warrior pinned him down and declared himself the winner. 

He had failed again.

He had felt Loki's eyes on him the entire time and the judgment that was moving along with them. Loki was testing him but he couldn't anymore. His legs were sore and he couldn't continue to fight anymore today.

Thor looked up and saw Loki waving a hand at the other Frost Giant. Shortly after he got off of him so Thor could stand up. He ignored the pain in his legs and looked at Loki instead, waiting for him to speak. He wondered what he would tell him this time. By now, he had given up on expecting any praise and he assumed Loki would just go ahead and tell him what he would have to do next. Besides, he did not think he deserved any praise today anyway. He had been able to fight some of them, sure, but he had defeated way less than last time so practically he hadn't done a good job at all.

 

"Would you like to rest now or are you coming to the library with me now?"

 

hen Loki finally spoke up, Thor frowned lightly, because he had not expected to be given a choice in the matter. And now he was not sure what to do. If he went to rest, he would be looked upon as weak, and if he went with Loki to the library, the other warriors would think he was pathetic for doing everything Loki wanted to. But that was his job as his personal guard, he had to follow him around in order to protect him. Finally making his decision, he looked into Loki's eyes.

 

"I will come with you to the library." 

 

"Alright, come with me then." Loki replied and Thor was happy to see that Loki seemed to be pleased with his decision. He even smiled and it looked like he really meant it. 

 

Thor could hear the others chuckling when he followed Loki, but he ignored all of them, instead choosing to keep his gaze on Loki. He knew what they thought of him, he knew they all looked down on him - and not only literally. They were jealous of his new position, and they transformed that jealousy into a bitterness. Of course they thought it was easier to taunt him about it, he had expected nothing less. He refused to care about it, though. Thor refused to let any of them ruin this for him. Instead, he nodded his head when Loki told him to come. Loki's smiles always seemed to surprise him, and he wondered if it would ever stop. Perhaps if Loki started smiling more often, he would get less surprised by it, but he doubted something like that would happen. Loki did not seem like the type of person to smile a lot. 

 

Meeting the warriors' eyes as he passed them, he refused to give any of them the satisfaction of thinking that they were getting to him. He gave them all a steadfast look, and followed Loki inside the castle and towards the library, figuring that perhaps he would still be able to rest his legs for a while when they got there. 

 

Loki didn't speak up during their way and when they finally reached the library, they walked in and Loki headed straight to one of the shelves, letting his fingers slide over the back of the books while he kept on walking. It was frustrating though. Thor knew he shouldn't let his hopes up but he really wanted to get to know Loki. He wanted to talk to him but this hope was one that would never become true. 

 

"I love that feeling." Loki said and pulled Thor out of his thoughts. 

 

He had not expected Loki to speak up, and he furrowed his brow at the sound of his voice. Thor felt slightly confused. What did Loki love? He could only assume it had something to do with the books, but since he had never been a huge reader, he was not sure what one could find so fascinating about books you were not even currently reading. Did it have something to do with touching the books? Was that the feeling he loved? Part of him thought about asking, but once again he realised Loki probably wanted to be left alone. If Loki wanted to talk, he was pretty sure he would talk. 

 

Thor's eyes remained on Loki and when the prince sat down on the couch, Thor took a few steps around the room, waiting only a short moment before sitting down on an empty chair, letting out a relieved sigh when his legs could finally rest. He turned his head to look over at Loki, watching as his markings once again began to glow. It was simply fascinating to watch, and Thor found himself never taking his eyes off of Loki, waiting to see if he would get any indication as to what the spell was useful for. 

 

This time took longer. The fight had lasted for a few hours and now Loki was sitting there for hours. He seemed to be concentrating on something but he wasn't so sure why. It was probably the spell he had been working on the day before yesterday and Thor never took his eyes off of him. It was too beautiful to watch.

 

But after a while, Loki's muscles seemed to tense up and he looked up, his arms trembling from straining his muscles. For a moment he just looked at the goblet that was standing on the table next to the couch and after a few heartbeats he finally bent down, touching the golden goblet with his forefinger gently. It didn't even take a heartbeat and the goblet suddenly splintered with a loud crack. Loki pulled back with an exhausted breath and the glow stopped immediately, letting out a laugh. The goblet splintering was definitely a surprise, but he assumed that was not what the spell was really for. It had to be something a lot more important than that. Nevertheless, Thor thought it was incredible. Loki destroyed that thing with a very light touch of his fingertip... He could only imagine what Loki was also capable of. 

 

"It worked." he breathed, obviously relieved to no end. 

Again, when Loki spoke up he wanted to ask him about it, wanted to ask him what had worked and what was he going to use his spell for, but he understood why that would be inappropriate. He was so curious and he wanted to know what this was about. But he couldn't ask. He was not allowed to so he even forced himself to stop thinking about it because it would drive him mad if he would never get an answer to this.

 

Suddenly, Loki stood up and looked at him again.

 

"Alright Thor. We can go. I have to see my father before going to bed so... you are free this evening again. Do as you please."

 

Also standing up, Thor nodded his head at Loki's words. "Thank you, your highness." 

 

He was not entirely sure what he would do with his evening off. Perhaps he would go straight to bed again. He was quite tired after fighting all those warriors after all, and he was not really in the mood for anything else. Going outside to train again was not something he wanted to do. Not only because he was tired, but also because he did not wish to deal with the other warriors' taunts. He made his way back to his own room, and asked a servant to bring him some food again. He stretched his arms and his legs before sitting down on the bed, taking a few minutes to rest before there was a knock on the door, and a young female servant came inside, carrying a tray. Thor smiled and thanked her, and he could have sworn she blushed before quickly leaving the room. Sitting down to eat, he finished quickly before he proceeded to wash himself. Afterwards he removed his garments. Laying down on the bed, he stared up at the ceiling for a while, wondering whether he was going to make any progress the next day. Eventually, despite the many thoughts whirling around inside his mind, he managed to relax enough to go to sleep, and he slept soundly throughout the entire night.

 

****

 

When Thor left, Loki headed straight to his father's private chamber, finding him there as well as his mother Nál. Both were sitting at the table and Loki stopped in front of both of them, smiling. 

 

"It worked." he announced with a bright smile. 

 

Laufey's eyes widened in surprise and he looked at his wife for a moment, before drawing his attention back to his son. 

 

"Really? Do you think you can do it?" he asked and leaned down to him a little. The prince shrugged.

 

"When do you need me to do it? I'm still not sure if I can control it completely but... I'm working on it." he replied and saw his parents exchanging looks. 

 

"Your father and I are going to Asgard during the next moon cycle. It shouldn't take longer than a few days but we'd be more than proud if you could be finished by the time we return. It would be beautiful to come back and see Jötunheimr in all its former glory." Nál softly said, tilting her head. 

 

The young prince nodded so deeply it was almost a bow - and left the room again, almost hurrying back to his own room. He didn't even care to bath or eat something because he was both too excited and too tired for anything else which was why he headed straight to bed, crawling under his furs to make himself comfortable until he drifted off to sleep very slowly. This would turn out to be great. He would be their saviour. And everyone would be so proud of him. He could already see the looks on their faces and it was enough to make him want to work harder. His heart felt light and his head was filled with good thoughts and pride the entire time.

 

****

 

Waking up the next morning, Thor groaned lightly when he could feel almost his entire body aching. He had trained hard these last few days, and his body had been put through quite a lot. But of course he knew he would have to get up and do it all over again. He doubted Loki would let him take it easy simply because he was in a bit of pain. After all, he wanted him to be the best warrior of them all, and for that he needed to train, no matter how exhausted he was. Resting all day was out of the question. Thor knew he would have to do his best even with the slight pain in his arms and legs. He was a warrior, he was strong, and he could work through it. But he had to admit that it was a bit frustrating. He had hoped Loki was different. He had hoped he would appreciate his effort - but these hopes seemed to be ridiculous after the days he had spent here already.

 

He sat up, reaching back and using his hand to gently massage his own shoulders, finding that he was quite stiff. Nevertheless, the massage helped a little bit, even though there were obviously certain places he could not reach. Letting out a satisfied groan, he dropped the hand and rubbed his eyes, telling himself he was ready for yet another day of following Loki around so once Thor had washed himself and gotten dressed, he made his way over to Loki's room, feeling somewhat sad that he had not gotten a chance to talk to Ragna this morning. She had been the one of the few good things about these last few days and he really appreciated her company. She was a delight to talk to, unlike... Unlike a lot of other people in this realm. He'd never really had any friends, and at some points he had wondered why he never really seemed to fit in. He felt different, and he had no idea why. 

 

Walking into Loki's room, he sat down on his usual chair by the table, waiting patiently for the prince to wake up. And when he did, he had to smile. The way Loki stretched himself and let out that yawn... It looked utterly cute and he couldn't take his eyes off of him once again. Loki was still hidden under the thick furs with only his tired eyes outside until he pushed himself up. The sun was high in the sky and lit up his room and it was lighting up the spot where Loki was lying. 

 

"Come over here and sit down." Loki ordered, gesturing to an empty space next to him in the bed. He moved to the side to have a bit more distance between them, laying down again on his side. 

 

"I'm not feeling well today so I'll be staying here." he started and looked up to him with expectant eyes. "Tell me something. Something about you. Or a tale. I don't care. Make something up if you want to."

 

He was a little bit confused when Loki wanted him to come over. He wanted him to sit down on his bed? That seemed a bit... inappropriate? But if Loki wanted him to, he would do it. Standing up, he walked over, slowly sitting down on the very edge of the bed, finding he felt utterly uncomfortable. He was almost afraid to stay that close to Loki. And Thor was even more surprised when Loki told him to tell him something. After all, Thor was his personal guard, not his babysitter. What should he tell him? Thor was not sure if he wanted to tell him anything about himself. He wasn't sure if there was anything to tell. And he didn't really know any tales. But - yes. He did remember one that his mother had told him. She wasn't his real mother, of course, but she'd always been like a mother to him. 

 

"I do know of one tale, my lord, but it is a bit childish." he warned him. 

 

It was meant for children after all, not fully grown princes. Turning his eyes down, he frowned lightly as he tried to remember how it went, eventually opening his mouth to speak. Meanwhile, Loki rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling while listening to him.

 

"Long ago, there lived two young Frost Giants, one boy and one girl. They came from different families, but had grown up together, and they thought of each other as the best of friends. One day, the boy suggested they'd explore the realm. They had been told by their parents to stay close to their homes, and yet the girl agreed. Off they went, and for the first few hours, they had a lot of fun, playing in the snow together. But then, when it was getting darker, they realised they could not find their way back. They had gotten lost. Seeking shelter, they managed to find a cave, and they sat there with their arms around each other, the girl weeping against the boy's shoulder. All night, they remained like this, and when morning came, the boy took the girl's hand and led her outside. Again, they tried to find their way home, but all they could see was snow, and everything looked the same. They searched for hours. They were hungry, and tired, and it would soon get dark again. Finally, they could not take it anymore, and both of them passed out, falling down in the snow. That is where their parents found them the next day, still holding each other's hands, but with no breath left in their bodies. They say that if you find this spot, you can still see where they were laying in the snow, forever joined together by their hands." 

 

Turning his eyes back up, he smiled somewhat sheepishly. "My mother was a lot better at this. I am not much of a storyteller."

 

There was a long silence and he could see him frown. "What? That's it?" Loki said and turned his eyes to look at Thor. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, arms crossed in front of his chest. 

 

"Why do they still hold hands? They're dead. Holding hands while dying is not very helpful." Loki pointed out and looked outside for a couple of moments before he looked back at Thor. "Is it true? Can the area where they died be found?" he asked, a lot calmer this time. 

 

To be honest, Thor was surprised when Loki started asking all of those questions. He had not expected him to get so involved with the story, in fact, he had almost expected him to call it silly or stupid. He still thought his mother did a lot better telling it, but perhaps this meant he had not done such an awful job. Frowning lightly, he wondered how he was going to explain to Loki why they were still holding hands. He thought it was obvious, and it was sad that Loki did not understand why they would have wanted to hold hands as they lay there, dying, in the snow.

 

"Well," he began, still hesitating a bit. "They loved each other, and I suppose they both knew they were most likely not going to make it. So they wanted to be together, in any way that they could, before they died. It was probably comforting." 

 

He knew he would have felt the same way. It must have been a comfort for the Frost Giants in the story to know that they were not alone, while of course being sad that someone they loved had to die with the. 

 

"And I do not know, your highness. My mother used to tell me this story when I was younger. I think it is meant to scare children away from going off on their own like that. I have no idea if it's true or not." surprisingly, Loki waited until he was completely done with his explanation before he continued with his argumentation. 

 

"But they were dying." Loki argued. "How can someone feel comfortable just by holding someone else's hand?" he added and shrugged, tilting his head a bit. 

 

"Do _you_ love someone?"

 

Thor opened his mouth to answer Loki's first question, but changed his mind and closed it again. He would have offered to show him just what could be so comforting about holding someone's hand, but of course he knew he was not allowed to touch him. No one was allowed to touch him, and perhaps that was the problem. How could Loki possibly know what was so nice about holding someone's hand, if he had never done it? Thor realised that he pitied the prince. He may have lived a comfortable life, and he may have had servants, and treasures, and everything he could have ever wanted, but he did not have... intimacy. He did not know what it was like to be touched by another person, and presumably he did not know what it was like to love. And for that, Thor felt completely and utterly sorry for him. He was sad and he pitied him to no end.

 

At Loki's second question, he turned his eyes back to him again, watching him quietly for a long moment. It was yet another question he had not expected, and he found himself thinking about the question longer than he probably should have. 

 

"I love my parents." He shook his head at himself. " _Loved_ my parents. They passed away some time ago. So...No. There is no one in my life right now whom I love." 

 

It was true. He did not love Loki. He had feelings for him, yes, but he did not love him. 

 

Not yet.

 

Loki kept looking at him for a long moment and Thor was getting more and more uncomfortable. But what came next was something he would've never even dreamed about hearing.

 

"I'm sorry for your loss." Loki said, licking his lips. He shook his head and took a deep breath. "The others are training in the yard again. You shouldn't miss a day off."

 

Thor realised that this was the most they had spoken to each other since this whole thing started. Was that a good sign? Were they on their way of becoming more comfortable around each other? He wasn't sure, but he chose to be an optimist, and hoped that this meant they would start talking more and more. He did want to get to know Loki a bit better, and perhaps see past the somewhat unfriendly exterior. There had been quite a few moments when he had seen something deeper than the spoilt prince who thought he was better than everyone else. He wanted to see more of this Loki, the honest one. At least he thought he was being honest, but obviously he could never know for sure.  
Nodding his head, Thor turned his eyes to the window. Did this mean he was being dismissed? He wondered if Loki had gotten uncomfortable because of the subject, and him bringing up his dead parents. Either way, it seemed as though he now wanted him gone.

 

"Of course. I should get down there." standing up, he bowed, and turned around, walking over to the door. 

 

"Do you want me to come back later?" he asked, turning back to look at Loki. 

 

"Of course I want you to come back later." Loki replied, frowning a bit.

 

Nodding his head again, Thor bowed one last time before turning around and leaving the room, closing the door behind him. Making his way down to the training yard, he figured that perhaps he would not need to fight them all today, since Loki would not be there to watch. Instead, he would focus on getting better, fighting only a couple of them, concentrating on picking up weaknesses and new ways to fight for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter where they obviously start warming up a little around each other. Thor is having a bit of a hard time but bare with it, he'll be rewarded in the end c: ! This is just the beginning after all.
> 
> And as always: Thank you very much for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

"Time to wake up." Ragna announced when she pulled the curtains to the side, letting the sun light up the entire room. It was early in the morning and she had a light smile on her full lips when she saw Thor flinching at the sudden burst of light. He blinked and put his arm over his face but smiled at her as soon as his eyes were used to the light. She chuckled and headed to the bed, putting a bowl of water on the bedside cabinet again as well as a clean cloth. 

 

"How are you today?" she asked and put a goblet with something to drink in it down. "I went to the healers. If you drink this the pain in your muscles will go away. I thought you might appreciate it." 

 

"I am alright. I think." he had not had enough time to really consider it, but now that he did... Well, he was perhaps a bit stiff, but other than that he was fine. "Thank you," he said, reaching for the goblet and taking a sip of the drink. He could almost feel his muscles loosening as soon as he swallowed and he took another eager sip. 

 

"Oh what would I do without you?" he said quietly, turning his eyes back up to her. "I think it's working. Thank you." 

 

"That's good." she replied and tilted her head to the side a bit. For a few heartbeats she seemed to be hesitating and Thor wondered what she might want to say. 

 

"May I ask how you feel? I mean - with your... new job. Do you enjoy it?" she had already asked some similar questions a few days ago but this time the question was much more precise. 

 

"And what do your parents say to such a high position. They surely have to be proud of you. Do they miss you? You're living here in the palace after all."

 

"They don't say much about it, I'm afraid. They're dead, but I am sure they would have been very proud of me." 

 

Ranga's smile faded immediately. "I'm sorry. About your parents."

 

"They passed away some time ago. I suppose you never quite get over something like this but... I like to believe I've moved on."

 

He knew they would have been proud. After all, he was the prince's personal guard. That was a highly esteemed position. And he was on his way of becoming the strongest warrior in the realm. Yes, he was sure they would have been proud of him. Turning his eyes back up again, he gave Ragna a sad smile. 

 

"But I do enjoy it. Granted, sometimes it is a bit dull, especially when I have nothing to do but standing around, but I am proud of myself and I am grateful that the king trusted me with this job. And of course you cannot expect to always have fun while you're working after all, can you?" he felt like he could confide in her, and she wouldn't go running off to the prince, telling on him. He knew she could keep a secret. 

 

"What about your job? Do you enjoy it?" he then asked.

 

She was probably a lot busier than he was and she could also say that she was working for the prince. But the servants were never admired for their work and he was sure it could get a bit mundane at times. 

 

"I used to enjoy it." she replied and sighed. "When Loki was born, I was very happy because he was gifted and I felt honoured to serve him. To be honest... sometimes I thought about caring for him like a second mother. But ever since he was born no one was allowed to show him any form of affection so my job became rather frustrating and dull. And it was nice at first because we played, we talked. It was a great job. But one day Laufey told Loki something. No one was allowed to be there and listen to them during their talk and ever since then Loki just stopped talking to me. You can imagine that I'm not really enjoying all this at this point. I'm actually a little confused that you seem to enjoy it."

 

Frowning lightly, he listened to her telling him about her job, and he nodded along to show his support. To be honest, he had not expected her to be old enough to have been there at the time of Loki's birth. He had realised that she was probably older than him, but he'd thought there were only a couple of years between the two of them. Though it did not have to be a huge age difference. She definitely looked relatively young. 

 

"I am sorry to hear you no longer enjoy it," he said, giving her a look of sympathy. "I wish there was something I could do to help you." 

 

But he could not get Loki to talk to her. The only thing he could do, was to make sure they had these moments every once in a while, giving her someone to confide in. It was always nice to have someone to talk to. 

 

"I enjoy parts of it," he said, figuring he might as well be honest. "I like that he is pushing me to become even stronger. And I like it when he speaks to me, though that does not happen very often."

 

"Oh, no. It's fine!" Ragna said and shook her head. . "It's not that I hate it. I still love working for him. Maybe I'm too nostalgic but I hope he'll someday behave like he used to again. You know - warm up. But I don't exactly want to risk that Laufey finds out I'm trying to change the way his son is living." she sighed and smiled again. "Besides you are already helping me just by talking to me."

 

She then listened to what he said afterwards. So there were some things that bothered him. The tone in his voice had changed slightly and Ragna nodded in understandment. "Sounds like he likes you." she replied with a light frown. "Your predecessors were just... there. He never did something like that before."

 

"You think?"

 

"Yes. I've never seen that Loki trained his personal guards before. Let alone have them around all the time. So I guess he has to like you... What do you think about trying to wake him today?" she suggested and smiled at him, leaving the room all of a sudden before Thor had even time to think about an answer.

 

It did not make any sense to Thor. Loki liked him? Why? He did not understand it. And if he did like him...Well, he had an odd way of showing it. Then again, Thor supposed that he had to treat him a certain way, even if he did like him. He had to wonder, though, if this was how Loki acted when he liked someone...How badly had he treated the previous guards? Not that Thor necessarily felt mistreated, but Loki had been pretty rough with him so far, even if he'd had some softer moments. 

 

He wanted to protest loudly when she told him he should wake Loki today, but she was out the door before he had time to recover from the initial surprise at her words. She wanted him to wake Loki up? Getting out of bed, he left his room and knocked a few times on Loki's door, just in case he was already awake and would not want to be disturbed. When he received no response, he opened the door and stepped inside, noticing that the prince was indeed still asleep. Walking closer to the bed, he looked down at him, wondering how he was supposed to do this. Obviously he could not shake him awake. And he did not want to pull the curtains away because he did not know if he was allowed to do something like that. Finally, he ended up clearing his throat, taking yet another step closer to the bed. 

 

"Your highness? My prince, it is time for you to wake up."

 

It didn't take long for Loki to react. The prince rolled around under his blankets and yawned, stretching his long and thin limbs before pushing himself up into a sitting position. His hair was messy and entangled in his small horns until he pushed it out of the way. Only when he was done Loki finally looked at him. 

 

"Good morning Thor." he smiled, revealing a line of teeth, whiter than snow. "I didn't expect you to wake me up to be honest. How was the rest of your day yesterday? Did you sleep well?"

 

Thor wondered if Loki had experienced some pleasant dreams, or if he'd simply woken up on the right side of the bed, because he seemed to have changed overnight. They talked a little bit yesterday, but this... This surprised Thor. He had not expected Loki to be so polite, and it threw him off for a few seconds.

 

"Good morning, your highness." he bowed deeply. "I did sleep well and training yesterday had been great. Ragna thought I should give it a try. I am not entirely sure why though. Are you feeling better today, my lord?" Thor then asked. He looked better than yesterday. Not that Loki ever looked bad, but he looked like he was full of energy again, unlike yesterday.

 

Loki nodded, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed. "Yes, I feel better. It was good that I rested yesterday. We both needed some rest. But you will continue your training today. We will try that run again but first we will have breakfast."

 

Thor was not exactly happy that he would be running again today, but he knew it would help with his stamina and it was necessary for him to work on that if he wanted to be a better fighter. Hopefully he would be able to make it further today. Maybe he would be able to run for at least another thirty minutes. He did like the sound of that. The longer he could run the better. He needed to be able to impress Loki and show him that he was making progress. And then he could show Loki how well he fought those warriors another day. He really did want to show him that he was taking steps towards becoming a better fighter - it really was more important to him than he thought at first. 

 

****

 

The prince lead him to the dining hall once again in complete silence. He already guessed that Thor didn't particularly want to run. After all it was a little boring. But it would help improving his stamina even more. Even though running for six hours straight was a lot more than most guards could do. And it was way more than Loki could. He knew that. But still, he wanted him to get better, faster, stronger. It was weird and Loki was almost shocked by himself that he felt that way. It was irritating - something like obsessive curiosity mixed with something else he couldn't name rose in his chest when he talked to him. What was it? Possessiveness? He doubted it. 

 

Once they finally reached the dining hall in complete silence, they both entered and Loki didn't waste any time to sit down. And because no one else seemed to be here at the moment, he grabbed something to eat, still silent.

 

Loki started eating and leaned back in his chair, taking some of the juice that was standing in the middle of the large table. He turned around after a few moments, seeing that Thor was still standing right behind him, back straight and hands behind his back. Loki tilted his head. 

 

"As much as I like having you right behind me but I think you should eat something for breakfast. You will clearly need it." he said and pointed to the seat next to him. He turned around again and continued to eat some bread and looked at Thor while he sat down, just watching him blatantly without saying anything as he started eating.

 

And Loki enjoyed the view. After he sat down, Thor grabbed something to eat. It was fascinating to watch even if Thor was simply eating. He didn't do anything except eating and yet Loki couldn't take his eyes off of him. Something about him was not right and it was just so intriguing. Loki couldn't help it. He was so small but he clearly didn't have any magic abilities at all. He wanted to find out and once he did know what was going on, Loki was sure he would be even more interested in Thor. 

 

He wondered what Thor was thinking. He looked somehow uncomfortable. He could even see his eyes throwing quick glances at him and each time he did, Loki's eyes widened with curiosity and he licked his lips, expecting him to say something. But he never did. Not even once.

"I hope you are ready. You will be running towards the mountain every second day from now on until you reach it. So you might as well get used to that thought as fast as possible." Loki explained with a thin smile as soon as Thor was done eating. 

They both headed outside and Loki was happy to find his favourite horse was already standing there. Without even hesitating, Loki jumped on its back and turned it around, looking at Thor. "Ready?" he didn't even waited for a proper answer and started with a light gallop. He looked back over his shoulder to make sure Thor was following him and when he saw Thor was indeed following him, he patted Svaðilfari's neck to make him run a bit faster. 

 

He could hear Thor's steady footsteps right behind them though they kept getting heavier and unsteady the longer they ran. Loki kept pushing Thor for about five hours when he suddenly changed the direction and headed to the mountain's left without saying anything about it. Thor would follow him. He knew he would - it was his job after all. Then, after about half an hour later Loki finally made Svaðilfari stop and he looked back at Thor, seeing that he was completely out of breath and he was sweating, panting, resting his hands on his knees again. It was not a surprise though considering that he'd made him run faster this time. 

 

Loki had stopped at a forest that was made out of slightly shimmering rocks that were one to ten meters high. It was a beautiful place and because of the afternoon light these rocks were shimmering in all the colours one could imagine. There was even a lake a few more meters away from them. 

 

"I hope you can swim." Loki said and walked towards the water. 

 

He loosened the ties that bound his hair together, took off his jewellery and his trousers, letting everything fall down to the floor without bothering about his nakedness in front of Thor. 

 

"I figured you might want to rest a little. This is one of my favourite places to go when I leave the palace. The water is so clean that you can drink it. Swim or relax if you want to." Loki continued and leaped forward, hands stretched over his head as he was diving into the water head first. 

 

The cold water surrounded him and it was utterly relaxing. Loki enjoyed it every time he could go here. When he reached through the surface again he searched for Thor and smiled a bit. 

 

"The only downside of this place is the fact that father does not allow me to come here without a guard because of the monsters that live here. But now I have you so I decided it is about time to come here again."

 

He had expected Thor to lie down to the ground but instead he was swimming as well, closer to the edge of the lake. 

 

"There are monsters here?"

 

"Yes, there are monsters here." he responded with a shrug. "Don't tell me you are afraid of monsters?" Loki added, letting out a chuckle. 

 

Thor looked genuinely confused for a moment until he opened his mouth again to reply. "I am not afraid of monsters. I simply feel like this is something I should have been told about beforehand. I am supposed to be protecting you after all. I need to be aware of any potential danger."

 

"I should have told you before we started heading here?" Loki repeated and raised an eyebrow at his words, observing him for a moment. "So you are saying I made a mistake?" 

 

The smile on Thor's lips faded away very quickly and he could see how his features froze at his words. It made Loki's heart beat faster and he didn't even try to suppress his grin. 

 

"No, my prince! Not at all. I am your personal guard. It was my responsibility. I should have asked you... Forgive me. It will not happen again." Thor quickly said, almost hectically and he bowed down to him before he turned around and leave the water. Instead Thor lay down on the ground, not looking at him anymore.

 

_Boring._

 

Letting out a sigh, Loki dove again, letting the water surround him completely. He liked the way it made him numb and made every single sound so much more intense than they were on the surface. The way it made him feel like he was almost flying - it was simply amazing. 

 

Though after a while he came up again and headed out of the water as well, letting himself fall down to the ground just where he left the lake. He only let his calves hang in the water as he leaned back, looking into the sky where he could already see some stars coming up because it was getting late. Once he could feel that he was dry again, Loki stood up and dressed himself again, still not saying a word. He figured they should probably head back soon since it was getting darker already. Though as soon as he was finished, Loki heard a loud rumbling sound from somewhere in the woods. He froze for a moment and turned around. 

 

"There!" he called and ran a few meters forward to the edge where the ground they were standing on fell down to a lower vale. The prince looked down and his eyes were wide with excitement. 

 

There was a large Biglesnipe. Its skin was grey and it had large antlers on top of his head. His skin looked like it was made of rocks and the claws dug deep into the ground with every step between his growls. "That's one of them. I've never seen one in real life. Only in books." he announced and took a few more steps forward.

 

Though the moment he stepped forward, Loki could feel a firm hand on his chest that held him back. He looked down, right at the hand. He could feel its warmth through the fabric of his thin tunic and it made him frown. He was a lot warmer than himself. He could even feel his strength even if Thor didn't forcefully push him back - he just used that much amount of pressure that was needed to keep him right there. And Loki noticed a light tingle spreading from where he touched him, filling his entire body. 

 

"We should leave." Thor said quietly. 

 

"Yes, of course." Loki said afen if he actually wanted to stay there for a while longer. He wanted to see how it was when he was standing near it since the ground was shaking a bit every time it took a step forward. Loki stepped back and turned around to head to his horse who also starting to get rather restless and nervous because of what was not far away from them.

 

Loki got on the horse and held onto his mane, making Svaðilfari run back to the palace as fast as he could. Thor was still running right next to him. He was almost surprised by himself. Usually he would have protested. But instead he'd listened to Thor without even arguing about it. Letting out a sigh, he looked forward, still hearing he rumbling sounds from the monster in the background. It could be his hallucination but he thought the sounds came closer at one point. Loki kept up the pace and looked back over his shoulder - only to see that it hadn't been his imagination. The sounds got louder and now that he looked behind him he could see why. He quickly made his horse stop and turned it around halfway. 

 

"Get on!" he called and waited for Thor to jump on his back as well. But Thor didn't do as he was told.

 

"Whatever you do, do not stop!" he called back and suddenly, Thor ran into the opposite direction again, right at the Biglesnipe.

 

Loki frowned and looked at Thor for a moment but Svaðilfari already started running again. The Biglesnipe looked so much bigger in reality and that close and Loki felt his heart drop when he heard another load roar. His excitement changed into a slight fear. While his horse did not stop, Loki watched the scene getting smaller and smaller in the distance. Thor was actually fighting this beast with his small sword and this entire scene looked like it was slow, almost like he imagined it. It was unreal and Loki could've sworn he didn't breathe - until he could see that Thor was hit and he literally saw red. Turning around without thinking too much about it, the prince made Svaðilfari run even faster and he was already about to prepare one of his spells when the large Biglesnipe suddenly dropped to the ground, bleeding out of a slice at his neck. 

 

He jumped off and ran towards him, seeing how Thor was lying on his back right next to the dead Biglesnipe and he knelt down next to Thor, reaching out for a moment when he realised he shouldn't. He wasn't allowed to touch him. Quickly moving his hand back again, he tried to catch his gaze. Oh how he wanted to touch and help him. He was bleeding out of a large, cut at his side - and he was bleeding a lot. He was probably hit by one of the Biglesnipe's large and sharp horns and it hut Loki as well to see this.

 

"What in all nine realms were you thinking?! You disobeyed a direct order!!" he yelled and looked down to where the Biglesnipe dug his claws into his stomach. "It could have killed you!"

 

Thor breathed heavily and let out a pained groan, swallowing hard before he showed him a smile.

 

"Is that a hint of concern I detect in your voice, my prince?" he chuckled weakly. "I am your personal guard. I am supposed to protect you, even with my life. And I did." Thor continued and pressed his hand against the large wound, trying to stop the bleeding - but it was no use. He hissed and Loki figured there had to be a sudden flash of pain in his stomach, as Thor was obviously trying not to move.

 

The prince frowned and clenched his teeth. Concern? Yes it probably was. It was something new for him and Loki was not exactly sure how to deal with this feeling. He did not even know why he was concerned. Thor was right it was his job to protect Loki with his own life so why should he bother? 

 

"I... just don't want to have to choose another guard. It's annoying." he said quietly, licking his lips before giving him a light smile. "Stay calm. I am not a perfect healer but... I will be able to stop the bleeding for now." he explained and let out a deep breath as he let his magic work on its own.

 

His markings began to glow again like they always did whenever he used a powerful spell. Then he ripped off a piece of his tunic, putting it on top of Thor's wound and underneath his own hands so he wouldn't touch him directly. Letting some of his own energy flow through his hands into the wound, he felt Thor's ripped muscles and bones and the fibres moving under his hands, getting back into place right before a single layer of skin grew over it just so it stopped bleeding and wouldn't rip if he was careful while moving. Once he was done, be breathed again and pulled his hands back, looking at them when he saw Thor's blood on his hands. He had bled through the fabric and Loki was glad that he'd been able to stop it.

 

"Thank you, my lord." Thor said while Loki was still looking at his hands. He looked down at him and smiled, not sure how to interpret the look in Thor's eyes. There was something he couldn't name. Something he hadn't seen before - but what was it? Maybe he was just a lot more relaxed right now because Loki had taken a lot of the pain away from him? Yes, that had to be it.

 

Smiling, Loki let out a chuckle. "I can't afford to lose my personal guard just yet." he said, but his smile faded only a few seconds later. "But... seriously. Don't scare me like that again." he said, wiping the blood off of his hands on his own trousers.

 

"I can't promise anything, my prince. It is my job to protect you, at whatever the cost. If I need to lay down my own life for you, this is what I shall do."

 

Loki nodded only slightly at his words, though he seemed to be a little unwilling. "I know." he said. 

 

He knew that this was Thor's job. He chose him to be his personal guard with the knowledge that - if necessary - he would die for him. Yes he knew it. But to be honest he had not been prepared to be confronted with this so soon. And even more he never thought he would even care if a situation like this happened. But he did. He cared.

 

"We should go. You need to rest and see the healers. They will be able to help you." they were probably better at this than him. He may know a bit about healing but his magic was actually supposed to do something else. Letting out a subtle sigh he stood up and slowly walked towards his horse, climbing on its back before turning around to wait for Thor to follow him.

 

But instead of running, they walked. Thor wasn't on his horse's back this time, he was walking. Slowly. Because luckily, they didn't need that much time to reach the palace and when they did, he called a servant so he would take care of his horse. Then he turned back to Thor. 

 

"I will take you to the healers if you want to."

 

Thor had his hand on his stomach, still pressing against the wound and it was easy to tell that it still hurt. He simply nodded at his suggestion and Loki quickly lead them through the palace.

"Guards!! I need healers. Now!!" he called and within a heartbeat two guards and three healers came running towards them. They approached the two of them and surrounded Loki, not paying attention to Thor at all who was only standing a meter behind him.

 

"Your highness, how can we be of help to you?" they all bowed when one of the healers spoke up.

 

"Are you hurt?" the second one asked and Loki shook his head, pointing at Thor.

 

"He is. I want you to take care of him as much as you would take care of me. If I find out you did not, it will be the last thing you've done." Loki ordered, his voice low to make sure they would _really_ take care of him. The healers didn't lose any time at all and bowed again, moving towards Thor to support him while they all walked to the healing chambers. 

 

Loki observed them a while longer until they were out of sight. 

 

He sighed and walked straight to his own room, jumping on his bed as he pulled the thin blanket over him. He didn't even notice Ragna standing beside his bed until she cleared his throat. But he didn't react. He remained in this position, eyes closed as he tried to rest a little. 

 

"My lord? May I speak?" she said after Loki had ignored her for about ten minutes though he still didn't bother to sit up. 

 

"You may." Loki allowed and nodded, voice muffled because his head was pushed under one of the pillows.

 

"Thor and... Thor and I had planned to talk and eat together this evening."

 

"So?"

 

"So I was thinking, your highness, whether you could tell me where he is. I would really like to talk to him."

 

Hearing this, Loki pushed himself up into a sitting position finally and looked at her. 

 

"He is _my_ personal guard. _I_ talk to him, _I_ give him orders and _I_ am his only priority in his life! You are my servant and it is certainly not your business what he is doing right now. Go. I need to rest. And make sure to wake me before breakfast tomorrow, I don't want to be late!"

 

And with that, Loki lay down again, rolling onto his side. But as soon as he heard her leaving the room he already regretted being so mean to her. But he couldn't help it - there was something going on that he could not explain. Pushing this thought away, Loki closed his eyes and remained in this position until he eventually drifted off into a deep sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who reads this, leaves Kudos and comments! Really it keeps me motivated to write all this down and we're both happy to see that you all like the story!  
> Thank you very much c: !
> 
> (Also sorry for eventual mistakes. My first language isn't English and this FF isn't beta'd!)

When Thor woke up again, he had to squint against the bright light, and he blinked a few times before he remembered what happened yesterday. He must have slept for quite a few hours, going by the light outside the window, and he looked around for a healer, but there was no one else in the room right now. Letting out a quiet sigh, he brought a hand to his stomach, and realised immediately that he was wearing bandages. There was still a dull pain when he moved, but he was definitely feeling so much better than he had yesterday. 

 

Yesterday...

 

Of course he remembered the pain. The fight with the Biglesnipe and then... there was just Loki. Loki, whose naked hips were swaying as he moved to the water. Loki, whose skin looked so soft without that fabric. Loki, whose hair was almost flying when he rode away with Svaðilfari. Loki, whose hands felt so soft and calming on his skin, even through the thin layer of fabric. Loki and his magic that took a lot of the pain away. Loki's concerned voice and the helpless look in his eyes. And then there had been darkness. 

 

Until now. The healers had taken care of him and when he looked around he saw blue walls, shelves, beds, tables with bandages, medicine, water, bowls and towels and books. This was obviously the healing room. Thor had never been in here. There were even some candles to give some light, making the room a lot warmer. Oddly enough, this candle made Thor feel at home. He wondered if perhaps he should leave and go to Loki's chambers to see if he was awake, but before he had time to even try to push himself up, a healer entered the room and told him to lay still. Turning to look at her, Thor nodded his head and remained in the same position. 

 

"When can I leave?" he asked.

 

"Not yet. We have to change the bandages and see if the wound is really healing like it is supposed to heal." the healer explained with a light smile, leaving Thor drop back down and sigh.

 

But he waited. He waited even if he wanted to get up and see where Loki was. What he was doing. If he was alright. He waited for the healers to come and change his bandages. And when they did he was told that the wound was healing quite nicely but that it would be wiser for him to stay in bed for a few more hours - just to be on the safe side. Nodding his head, Thor watched as they left the room again, and he let out a quiet sigh. He hoped Loki would not be angry. A part of him thought about going to him anyway, but he knew that he would be of no use to Loki if he was in pain. Besides, he was sure Loki would send someone to come get him if he was not okay with him staying at the healers. 

 

"Thor? Are you awake?"

 

His eyes were opened again and he snapped out of his light sleep. He had been resting for a while longer and the voice next to him woke him up. He looked to the side, seeing a young servant girl next to his bed. 

 

"I am sorry, I did not intend to wake you." she bowed.

 

"It is alright. How can I help you?"

 

"I'm here on Loki's demand. He wanted you to know that he is in the meditation room today and that you can come too if you are already allowed to stand up again today." 

 

"Thank you very much. I will go in a few minutes. The healers said I can stand up on my own risk again." 

 

And Thor did exactly that. A few hours later the healers finally told him he was allowed to leave, and Thor gave them a quick smile before leaving the room. It was a bit strange to be walking around alone again. He was not completely healed, but he was not willing to wait any longer. He stopped a servant and asked for directions to the meditation room, before slowly making his way over there.

 

It took him a while, but he finally managed to find the meditation room. He carefully opened the door, knowing that someone who was meditating shouldn't be disturbed. And when he opened it, he could see Loki sitting in the middle of the room, eyes closed, obviously concentrating. And since he didn't want to disturb him, Thor simply smiled to himself, admiring just how beautiful Loki looked like that. He sat down and waited patiently, silently. But then, finally - Loki woke up. He blinked, looking a little disoriented and then - there was blood running out of his nose, running down over his lips, down his chin before it dripped to the floor. Thor frowned, feeling worry rising up in his chest. He was just about to say something when Loki was the one who broke the silence. 

 

"Are you feeling better? I hope the healers treated you well." Loki said, walking over to him. 

 

"Am _I_ feeling better?! My prince... You are bleeding."

 

How could Loki just pretend like nothing was the matter? Surely he knew there was blood coming out of his nose? Was that not a good enough reason for concern? Thor wondered if this had happened before. That seemed like the one thing that could explain why Loki did not seem particularly bothered by the blood. What exactly was he doing to himself in here? Maybe it was because Thor did not understand, but he could not help but wonder why anyone would be willing to go through this for... for what? He did not even know what Look was trying to do, but whatever it was... Could it really be worth all this trouble?

 

"So you _are_ feeling better." Loki said with a relieved smile, reaching up to wipe the blood off with the back of his hand and for a second Thor had to fight down the urge to reach out to wipe it away for himself. He did not understand that stupid rule anyway. Granted, he could understand why the king would want to protect his son, but no touching at all? That seemed to be a little extreme. There had to be a reason for it, but what could it be? 

 

"It's a side effect of that spell I'm working on. It happens almost every time but I can't do anything about it. Father says I have to continue practicing the spell despite the blood. So I will." Loki continued.

 

"Are you in pain?" Thor asked, unable to hide his concern. What kind of spell was Loki working on? What could possibly be so important to him that he was willing to go through this just to be able to do it? 

 

"It's a bit like being stabbed right at the back of your head and your neck. I'm doing this for about 120 years now so I am used to it by now. At least I stopped crying about it after the healers told me it will not stop. Plus I bet you've had it worse already and I never heard you complaining about anything so I shouldn't complain either."

 

Again, Thor wanted to put a hand on Loki - on his shoulder, on his cheek, wanted to hug him tightly and not let him go - he just wanted to do _something_ that would be able to comfort him. It sounded awful, what he was being put through, and he wished there was some way he could help him, but of course he knew that there was nothing he could do. After all, he did not have magic the same way that Loki did. 

 

"Worse than that?" He shook his head. "I don't know, that sounds pretty bad. And for 120 years? No, I don't believe I've had it worse." He had suffered a lot of injuries, sure, but nothing like this. He could not imagine what it must be like to go through this for such a long time. He admired Loki's strength, and he knew that he was probably a lot stronger than he let on. Obviously the prince was not to be underestimated.

 

"Well at least I know all the effort will be worth it. I will give my life to Jötunheimr in the end. It's an honour to be the one to do this." Loki suddenly said, stretching himself. "I am going to take a bath." he added and walked past him, making a quick gesture to make him follow him once again. 

 

Thor furrowed his brow. Loki would give his life to Jötunheimr? What did that mean? He had a feeling Loki was not simply saying that he would devote his entire life to make it a better place. No, this was something far more serious. Was this mission - whatever it was - going to kill Loki? Was he going to sacrifice his own life to... To do what, exactly? Thor did not understand any of it, and he did not know who to ask to find out. He doubted Loki would tell him, no matter how polite he had been these last few days. And obviously he could not ask the king. Thor would have to find some other way to answer all of his questions. Following Loki, Thor kept quiet as he thought about everything that was going on, and how he was going to figure any of it out. He needed someone to talk to. 

 

"My prince?" he said, hoping he would not be crossing a line. "Do you know where Ragna is today?"

 

"Why would you want to know that? I did not give you the permission to leave yet." Loki replied and he was almost hissing at him now. Thor turned his eyes down. "I'm sure she is somewhere in the palace. But you will not see her today. You are going to stay at my side for the rest of the day." he continued firmly and Thor nodded. 

 

"Understood, my prince." Thor said. 

 

He should have expected that reaction. In fact, he had assumed that he could possibly get a cold response, but he had been willing to risk it. He did not quite understand it, though. Why was Loki getting upset about him asking about Ragna? Yes, he understood that his duty was to remain with the prince, but he had of course not been planning on leaving him right away. What harm could it do, if he spoke to Ragna when he had been dismissed? He sighed inwardly, suddenly wishing he had stayed with the healers. Now he would have to follow Loki around the palace again, which to be honest was not his favourite activity, but he did realise it was something he had to do.

 

It didn't take long for them to arrive in the bathroom of Loki's personal chambers and Loki headed straight to it, taking off his clothes quickly again before he let himself slide into the water without any moment of hesitation. But this time, Thor averted his eyes, preferring to look at the walls or at the floor - anywhere but at Loki's naked form. He did not want to tempt himself. After all his attraction to Loki was strong, even when he was wearing clothes and he had seen how his body reacted when he was completely naked. He threw a quick glance at him when he entered the water but looked away for the rest of the time. 

 

"You know what? Leave. Go away and look for Ragna. She's probably in her room." Loki suddenly said and Thor looked up, frowning. 

 

"It's- it's alright, my prince. I will stay with you and speak to her later. I'm your personal guard. I should watch over you instead of... following my personal interests."

 

Thor caught the quick change in expression on Loki's face, but he had no idea what it meant. It had been too quick for him to be able to tell what exactly Loki was feeling. He looked... troubled. The prince was usually quite good at hiding his emotions, and today seemed to be no exception. Thor almost thought he had looked...upset. But why would he be upset? Perhaps he was simply still angry about Thor asking him about Ragna?

 

"Fine, then I'm ordering you to go and see her."

 

"...Are you sure, my prince?" Thor asked. 

 

"Yes, I am." Loki said and turned around, diving down so he was completely covered by the water of the bath. 

 

Thor kept his eyes on the surface for a few more moments before he dared to slowly turn around and leave. To be honest, standing around to watch Loki bathe was not the most exciting thing he'd ever been a part of, but now that he had been told to leave, he almost felt a bit sad. Or perhaps sad wasn't the right word, but he definitely wasn't happy. He hoped Loki was not mad at him. They had began to talk a lot more to each other these last two days, and it would be such a shame for this to ruin any of it.

 

****

 

Once he found Ragna's room, he knocked at it and waited patiently for her to open it. Luckily it didn't take long and as soon as the door was open, he saw an open-minded and happy smile. 

 

"Thor! Oh, it is nice to see you again! Please, come in a- What happened to you?!"

 

"I'm surprised you haven't heard. You seem to know about most things happening around here after all. The... the prince and I ran into a Biglesnipe."

 

"A Biglesnipe?!" she repeated, obviously shocked. 

 

"Yes. It followed us and I was forced to kill it. I managed to defeat it but not before it had time to cut my stomach open." Thor explained and sighed, putting a hand against the bandages. "I am fine now but it was a quite nasty wound. The prince healed me. If it hadn't been for him, I am not sure I would have made it all the way back." 

 

On the other hand, he wouldn't have this wound in the first place if it hadn't been for Loki as well. 

 

"By all nine realms... I bet it was his idea. He wanted to see one in real life since he first heard of them. I just hope you will never experience that again..." she said, leading him over to the table. "The prince healed you?" she was obviously surprised. "You should feel honoured then. The prince never healed anyone let alone a servant." she said and sighed, shaking his head. There was a moment of silence before she continued. 

 

Thor thought it was interesting that Ragna seemed to know Loki well enough to be able to figure out that he had been the one to want to see the Bilgesnipe. Suddenly, he wondered if Loki had led him to that lake on purpose. He had obviously known there would be Bilgesnipes around. Thor frowned at the thought. If Loki truly had led them to that lake in an attempt to spot a Bilgesnipe, he thought it was very foolish and irresponsible of him. He was risking his own life. And Thor's as well, but Loki's life was of course a lot more important.

 

"I know I repeat myself, Thor but... there has to be something about you that Loki seems to like. You're good for him. But-" she poured some water in a cup, handing it over to him and Thor gratefully took it. "-I already talk too much again. I believe you came here for a reason? What is on your mind?"

 

"Yes, I..." he sighed. "I suppose I just need someone to talk to. I have so many questions on my mind lately and I understand that you may not have all the answers but I was hoping maybe... maybe we could talk?"

 

He had been here for about a month now and there was so much he wanted to know. 

 

Ragna smiled and nodded. "I will do my best."

 

Giving Ragna a smile, he took a sip of his drink as he thought about what exactly he wanted to say. He knew, of course, that she would not be able to answer a lot of his questions, maybe not even one of them, but he needed to get this off his chest. It was too much for one person to carry around. 

 

"I have been thinking a lot about... everything that has been going on around here. To be honest with you, I am not even sure where to begin. I still do not understand why Loki picked me, nor why he would like me. As far as I know, I have done nothing to make that happen. I have no idea why Laufey would choose not to execute me, and I have asked myself over and over what could possibly be so special about me. The only thing I can think of is that it has something to do with where I come from, and if that is the case, I want to know more about it. I wish to know more about my parents, and why my origins are important enough for me not to get executed."

 

He took another sip of his water, taking a bit of a break in his talking before he continued. 

 

"And today I found Loki in the meditation room, bleeding out of his nose. He made it seem as though it was nothing, and he said something about giving his life to Jötunheimr. I do not understand this either. What spell is he working on, and why is he willing to sacrifice himself for it?" Taking a deep breath, he looked back at Ragna. "I'm sorry. That is a lot of questions," he said with an apologetic smile.

 

While he talked, Ragna waited patiently, not interrupting him once and Thor was grateful for it. 

 

"No need to apologise. I can understand why you are confused by all this." she started and sighed, looking down at her cup for a moment before she managed to look into his eyes again. "Have you ever asked your parents where they found you? Have you ever tried to find out who you really are? There are several possibilities to why Laufey would not have you executed. Maybe you are not even from Jötunheimr? Maybe it has something to do with your heritage? Ever thought about that?" she suggested. 

 

Taking a sip of his drink, he listened to everything Ragna had to say, nodding his head every now and then as she asked him a couple of questions. Running a hand through his hair, he let out a quiet sigh before opening his mouth to speak. 

 

"No, I haven't. We never really spoke of the past. They raised me. They may not have been my birth parents, but they raised me, and I loved them for it. I did not think it was important to ask them about my real parents, and I did not want to hurt their feelings. And now it's too late." 

 

They were both dead, and who else would know about it apart from Laufey? Who else would know where he really came from? It was strange, very strange, to consider the fact that he may not even be from Jötunheimr. Where else could he come from? And more importantly, what was he? Because if he was not from Jötunheimr, could he really be a Jötun? Of course it was possibly that his real parents were in fact Frost Giants, and that they simply lived in another realm, but... suddenly he felt like he had even more questions.

 

"Understandable..." Ragna said quietly and shook her head. "And concerning Loki... I am almost sure I'm not allowed to tell you. But yes. You are right. He will sacrifice himself for Jötunheimr. It's... do you know how the source of energy of Jötunheimr works? The Casket of Ancient Winters. You know what that is, do you?"

 

He furrowed his brow when Ragna told him Loki was going to sacrifice himself for Jotunheim. He did not understand why Laufey would let him do something like this. It was his son, how could he just stand by and let him do this? 

 

"Yes, of course," he said when she asked him about the Casket of Ancient Winters. "But I do not understand what this has to do with Loki. What can he do? And why does he need to sacrifice his life to do it?"

 

"Sorcerers like Loki are utterly rare. The Casket is a magical object - it needs to get his energy from some source so it can work properly. Like everything, it will stop working when it runs out of energy. So there's a sorcerer born each millennia to recharge it. The last sorcerer died before he could do it and now Loki has to do double of the work and way earlier than he should because the Casket runs out of energy. We fear that such an act will not only drain his magic but also his life from him. If he doesn't do it, Jötunheimr will fall apart." she explained and made a pause, watching Thor to make sure he was taking all information in. "I'm not sure but this no-touching law might have something to do with that. I've done a bit research about that spell and it's said that the Casket needs pure, immaculate magic. Maybe Laufey is afraid Loki will be tainted."

 

"Isn't there some other way?" he asked, shaking his head. Of course he understood why the future of Jötunheimr was important, and granted, what was one life compared to so many, but... He did not wish for Loki to die. And he still could not figure out how Laufey could honestly let his son do this. How could he let him sacrifice himself like this? Did he not love him? Thor would never have done anything like that if he had children. At least it made sense now why Loki could not be touched, but Thor could not even focus on that. He was too upset about the fact that Loki would die for Jötunheimr, and now he felt utterly bad about leaving him alone, especially if Loki liked him.

 

"No, Thor. There is no other way. We'd need the support from sorcerers of the other realms so they would be able to split the effort and the energy. But I highly doubt that other realms would want to help us. We all know how they think of us. Besides, Laufey is way too proud to ask for help, especially if the suggestion came to him so short termed. If I overheard the conversation right, Loki will have to do this in about three weeks... So do yourself a favour and- don't... please, don't grow too attached to him."

 

Thor could not believe this. If there was a change, no matter how small, that Loki may not have to sacrifice his life for this, why would Laufey not do everything in his power to make it happen? Why did he not ask the other realms for help? Yes, Thor was well aware of the fact that they may not want to help, but they should at least ask! Laufey should be doing everything in his power to make sure his son did not have to die to save the kingdom. Thor was torn between anger at Laufey, and compassion for Loki. No wonder Loki could be tense at times. It had to be very hard for him, to know that the kingdom's future was basically resting on his shoulders. And then he stared at Ragna. 

 

"Three weeks?" 

 

Furrowing his brow, he shook his head. Three weeks. That was nothing. And Loki was not ready yet. He had not looked ready, he looked like he was only just now making some progress. How could they expect him to do this in three weeks? At Ragna's next few words, he gave her a weak smile and turned his eyes down. 

 

"I think that may be too late."

 

"You should try to get used to that thought. Laufey already did his decision the moment the healers found out that Loki is a sorcerer. That is why Nál got pregnant again. So they could raise another heir to the throne. And this was why he never really lets Loki out. He doesn't want him harmed to make sure he will be able to do this." Ragna said. 

 

Thor shook his head again. Basically, Loki had been raised as a pig for slaughter. How could they all just accept this? No matter what Loki was sacrificing his life for, was it really important enough for him to have to die? Then again, if he didn't do this, all of Jötunheimr would perish, and then Loki would of course die with them. Perhaps Thor would not have cared so much if it had been an unknown stranger who had taken on this mission, but because it was Loki, he was very hesitant about accepting it. He did not want Loki to die. They had only spent a couple of weeks together, but suddenly it felt incredibly strange to imagine life without him. It would feel very empty.

 

"Promise me you won't talk to anyone about this. Promise me, Thor."

 

"I promise." 

 

He didn't have anyone to talk to about this. Who was he supposed to talk to? Loki? He could not talk to him about any of this. He would end up trying to persuade him to reconsider, and that was something he could probably get in trouble for. And now that he'd spoken out loud all of his questions to get some answers... Thor was almost terrified to see that now there were even more questions than before.

 

****

 

"Do as much as you can."

 

Loki ordered, sitting down on one of the chairs in the training grounds. Thor was standing in the middle of the field again, facing his opponent. Since he was still wounded Loki didn't want Thor to push himself too hard. Though... something had changed about him. Loki wondered what happened yesterday that made Thor's behaviour change that much. He was calmer, more quiet and less tense. Maybe it had something to do with Ragna? He didn't know. But for now he just wanted to watch him train again. For now.

 

He watched the fight, watched Thor's determined expression, admiring how he moved. He was graceful. Quick. And there was an intelligence in his eyes that was simply impressive. Loki just loved watching him fight. It was mesmerizing and he knew he would never be bored by it. It was too beautiful to watch. Thor was good - even with the wound. It was very good and managed to fight the other one. And the second one though it looked like the second demanded much from him. He started to stumble, moved a bit slower and when the third came, the other warrior caught him off guard. Loki could see that the other Frost Giant had used his dagger to stab Thor right into the wound that was already there. His hand twisted and so did the knife and Thor let out a pained groan as he fell down to his knees when blood started pouring out of the wound again. 

 

Without even hesitating another second, Loki moved forward, hand in front of him as his markings began to glow brightly. Within a heartbeat there was a thick, icy collar around the neck of the Frost Giant and it diminished rapidly, starting to choke the warrior. Loki made a short movement with his hand, sending the Frost Giant flying against the next wall with a loud crash and when he landed on the ground, he gasped, trying to loosen the collar. But Loki didn't let go. 

 

"No one, _no one_ cheats in combat while I am watching!!" he literally yelled. 

 

The other warriors suddenly stepped back, eyes wide with shock and bowing down, kneeling on the ground just in case Loki would look around. He knew the majority of them thought he couldn't fight. But they all underestimated him and now they saw a small glimpse of what he was capable of. 

 

"You better apologise to him!" he continued, dragging him towards Thor again, turning him around with his magic while he was still desperately struggling for breath.

 

"I- ... s... orry." he managed to say and Loki tilted his head. 

 

"I can't hear you!" the prince yelled angrily, leaning down a bit, waiting for him to repeat the apology. The warrior still pulled at the tight collar, needing a couple of moments to take a deep breath before he could speak up.

 

"I am sorry, Thor." he finally said and Loki let him go immediately. The warrior gasped in relief as soon as he was finally able to breathe properly again. And when he looked like he thought it was over, Loki brought up his own hands to his head, turning them quickly before he send them down. And with his hands there were about ten long daggers flying down to the warrior on the ground, They weren't thick, but Loki knew they would hurt and when they bore right through him in the area of his stomach - right where he stabbed Thor before - the warrior let out a cry of pain, trying to get away from Loki. 

 

The prince looked around for a moment, seeing that they all were still on the ground, bowing. Loki did not even flinch at the sound of the crying warrior behind him.

 

"If anyone else dares to do something like that again, I won't be that merciful." he threatened and finally turned around to Thor. 

 

He knelt down beside him and put his hands over his bandages, healing the now ripped wound as best as he could again. "It's probably going to leave a scar now." he said with a quiet tone. Once he was done, his markings stopped glowing and he stood up again. "Come, Ragna should be ready with the meals by now. Can you walk?"

 

They both walked straight to his room again and on the way he told one of the servants to tell Ragna that she should bring the meal to his room. Apart from that - he kept quiet for the rest of the way they had to go to reach his room. He was aware of the fact that Thor probably still felt a little dizzy but he was sure he would be able to handle it. Letting out a sigh once they were finally there, Loki sat down on the bed and made place for Thor. 

 

"Lie down and rest a little." he said and waited for him to sit down. He was not sure what to say after his little outburst. Yes, the warrior had deserved punishment but now that he thought about what he'd done to him - maybe he had been a little extreme. Remaining quiet since he was not sure what to do, he moved over the bed until he could reach his bedside cabinet, grabbing the book that was lying there. The prince rolled onto his back and opened the page where he stopped reading yesterday so he could continue while Ragna was still on her way. Though he couldn't really concentrate. His eyes always found their way back to Thor from time to time and once he caught himself staring at him, he quickly turned his eyes back to the book. Loki was just glad that Thor probably didn't notice since he was resting right now. But despite the fact that he could deal with the awkward silence, Loki was relieved when Ragna finally entered and brought the meal into the room. 

 

"Forgive me for taking so long, my lord. I'll put the meals on the table... Are you alright, Thor?"

 

Thor, who had been quiet the entire time suddenly pushed himself up into a sitting position again. 

 

"I am fine, yes. I was fighting again and one of the warriors figured out where it would be best to stab me. I'm alright though. There is nothing to worry about."

 

"What?! I hope you showed him. They are all rather arrogant and they don't like losing so... showing them their boundaries is important. But I am sure you already know that."

 

Why were they talking? They shouldn't talk like this. Loki didn't want anyone to talk to Thor like that.

 

Standing up, he grabbed his book and walked over to the table, completely silent. Sitting down at the table, he put the book down and grabbed some of the fruits from the bowl as he leaned back, still reading. He was frustrated that he reacted like that even if he knew he shouldn't, but he just could not stop himself from doing so. Loki just hoped all this would pass soon. After all he just had to deal with it for a couple more weeks until he'd perform the spell. Once he was done with this, he wouldn't have to worry about such things any longer. Maybe he should try and avoid getting any closer to Thor even if he felt the urge to do exactly that. Loki knew it would only make things harder and now he understood even more why Laufey had kept him inside this palace all the time. He told him it would be better for Loki if he didn't know and see too much of the world. And now he finally started to understand. But now it was too late anyway. Thor was here and he would be his personal guard until the last day.

 

"Yes, I know a little something about that arrogance." Thor replied and laughed. "Did you have a pleasant night?" he continued and stood up, moving a little closer to her.

 

She smiled up at him, letting out a small chuckle as well. And when he moved over to her, Loki could see how she got closer again, putting a gentle hand above the wound on Thor's stomach. 

 

"I am sure the scar will suit you."

 

There it was again. That feeling that Loki wanted to just disappear. It was horrifying and he wondered if this was what everyone else felt all the time though he doubted this was common. And now that he thought about it, he realised that he knew basically nothing. He knew nothing about relationships. About friendships. He knew so much but on the other hand so less. Letting out a sigh he turned over the page and spoke up again. 

 

"Ragna, don't you have something else to do? I believe Thor is hungry."

 

She literally looked like she had been drowning in Thor's eyes.

 

"Forgive me, my lord. Of course I am leaving." she said and turned towards Thor again who still smiled at her.

 

"Sorry, Ragna." Thor said. "I'm keeping you from your duties. Perhaps we will see each other later?"

 

Ragna patted his shoulder and nodded. "Yes, we will." she said and chuckled again, blushing when Thor took her hand in his, kissing the back of her hand carefully before she made her way out to leave. 

 

Once she was gone, Loki felt himself tensing up. He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. He was still disappointed, irritated and frustrated but he couldn't possibly tell Thor about this. But he wanted to know so much so he just decided to ask anyway. Laufey didn't have to know. 

 

"What does it feel like?" he said, not turning around to him. "Touching someone you like and being touched by someone you like?"

 

Thor turned to look at him and he frowned. Loki figured he was irritated but he couldn't blame him. He seemed to hesitate but then he slowly walked over to the table, sitting down as well.

 

"It feels good, I suppose. Your heart speeds up and your skin is... It doesn't feel as cold anymore. It's as though it's on fire - in a good way of course. It is difficult to explain."

 

It was weird that he couldn't control what he felt - after all he'd been able to do exactly that for his entire life. And now, all of a sudden he couldn't do that anymore. And oh - how much he wanted to try. He wanted to try it. Wanted to feel it for himself, not only hearing about it. But of course he knew very well that he could never do that. He had a duty to fulfill and if he wouldn't be able to do this anymore just because he wanted to be touched only once in his life... Laufey would be furious with him. After a few moments of silence, Loki stood up, not replying anything to Thor's explanation. 

 

"I need to get back to the meditation room." Loki said instead. He figured it was enough to make Thor understand that Thor had to come with him again. Loki turned around on his heels and headed to said room. Again he felt just how much he enjoyed hearing Thor's footsteps right behind him. Not that he thought he was in danger but he felt completely safe when he was around him and it was a nice, warm feeling that filled him each time he heard those footsteps. 

 

Like before he just remained quiet during the time they needed to get there but Loki found it was easier to just say nothing than try to find something to talk about with him without accidently telling him what he thought. Because he felt the urge to get to know him getting stronger and he didn't know just how long he could keep this up. Thor was his personal guard for about a month now and Loki was already so used to him it was probably unhealthy. But this was nothing he should think about now. Instead he needed to get his head free - something that was very welcome right now. So when they finally reached that small room again, Loki walked in and waited for Thor to close the door. Then he sat down in the middle of it again slowly.

 

****

 

Thor tried to make himself comfortable, because he had a feeling they would be in here for a long time. He assumed Loki would be practicing until...Until when exactly? Until he was bleeding again? Or until he was hurt some other way? Thor did not like it, but he knew it was not in his place to put a stop to this, and he had to let Loki do what he was supposed to do. He could not even talk to him about it, because he was not to get involved with any of this.

 

As the minutes passed, he found himself looking over at Loki more and more frequently but nothing happened for a very long time. He just wanted to make sure he was still okay, and so far he seemed to be doing good. It was difficult for him to tell, since he was sitting quite a distance away from him, and he didn't know Loki well enough to be able to tell when something was wrong. That was why he was looking over at him so many times, because he was trying to spot a difference in his behaviour. What would the signs be? He didn't know much about magic after all so he couldn't tell.

 

But then he did notice a difference. It sounded as though Loki's breathing was becoming irregular, like he was in pain or something. It sounded like he was choking. Furrowing his brow, Thor tried to decide if it was serious enough for him to do something about it. But what could he do? Would it be possible to snap Loki out of it, or could he do nothing but wait until he snapped out of it all by himself? Suddenly feeling a bit tense, he leaned forward, taking a small step forward without even noticing. The sounds were getting louder, and now it definitely sounded like Loki was in pain. There was blood. Not only from his nose but from his mouth as well and Loki even fell flat on his back, lying there completely motionless. Clenching his fists, Thor tried to hold himself back, but eventually he couldn't do it. Rushing forward, he watched as Loki suddenly opened his eyes, and he wanted to help him sit up, even reached a hand out to do so, but remembered quickly that he wasn't supposed to touch. 

 

"I almost made it." Loki said, his voice trembling and his body shaking violently when he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

 

He gave Loki a worried look, shaking his head and when he didn't even say anything about being hurt, he just said that he'd always made it. 

 

"How are you feeling?" he asked, wishing he could put a hand on Loki's shoulder, or do something to make him feel better.

 

Loki blinked and shook his head, looking irritated and disoriented. "It's alright." he answered, breathing heavily. 

 

It was so difficult to force himself not to touch Loki, to not put a comforting arm around his shoulders, put Thor somehow managed to keep his hands to himself. He watched Loki, still with a worried look on his face, hoping he would be able to make it through this. For a moment, he wondered how difficult it would be to get through Loki's death. If he could not even stand to see him in a little bit of pain... But, then again, he hopefully would not have to be there when it happened. Or would he? He was Loki's personal guard, after all, but was that really necessary? Because Thor did not believe he would be able to get through it. He did not want to see anyone die, and he _definitely_ didn't want to see Loki die. He cared about him. A lot more than he wanted to admit to himself, actually.

 

"I can handle it. I can do this." the prince added.

 

Thor could tell that Loki was trying to convince himself. He could hear it in his voice, and the way he said that he could handle it. He wondered if Loki was scared. Really, though, he didn't have to wonder. Loki had to be scared. After all, he was going to sacrifice himself, and even though that was a very courageous thing to do, he was still going to die. And Thor didn't think Loki wanted to die. Maybe he pretended that everything was fine, but Thor had a strong feeling that this wasn't really what Loki wanted to do, he just felt like he _had_ to do it.

 

But then suddenly - he could see that Loki's eyes started to get wet and there were a couple of tears running down his cheeks. "No." he said very quietly. "It's not alright. It hurts." he almost whispered, his voice still shaking. 

 

Thor could feel his heart break for him. He didn't know what to do. What could he possibly tell him? That it was going to be alright? He wasn't going to be alright - he was going to die. No matter how many people would tell him that it was a good thing to lay down his life for Jötunheimr... It didn't change anything, Loki was still the only one who would die. Not being able to hold himself back any longer, Thor slowly reached out, grabbing one of the furs from the ground to put it around Loki's shoulders before he put a hand on his back, hoping that maybe he would be able to bring Loki some comfort. 

 

"Perhaps you should rest for a little while?" he suggested.

 

"You're the first one who's doing something like this." Loki said after a couple of moments, a lot calmer than before. "No one has ever put an arm around me."

 

Oh - Thor wanted to do so much more than this. He longed to wrap Loki in his arms, press a kiss to his forehead, and tell him he did not have to go through with this. He wanted to make it better, but he couldn't, and it frustrated him so much. This was so much worse than trying to fight all the warriors, or getting hit by that Bilgesnipe, or even getting stabbed by that other Frost Giant. This hurt much more than any of those things could ever do, and Thor realised his feelings for Loki ran a lot deeper than he had previously understood. He still did not want to call it love, because how could you love someone when you didn't really know them? But there was...definitely some kind of deep connection, and he knew he was in trouble because Ragna had told him not to let himself get too close to Loki. What he had told her was absolutely true. It was already too late. He was already attached to him, he already liked him. And now he wanted nothing more than to find some way to get him out of this.

 

"No one? Not even your parents? Your brothers?"

 

"No. No one."

 

He knew Loki was not to be touched, but as long as he was wearing clothes or some kind of material on his body... Why would they not put an arm around him? Why would no one have done it until now? It seemed so sad, and Thor really felt bad for Loki because no one should have to go through life alone.

 

"You were right. It does feel nice." Loki whispered, leaning his head against his shoulder on top of the fabric of his clothes. Thor had to smile and he leaned his own head back against the wall.

 

"It would feel nicer without the fur."

 

"Can we stay like that for a while?"

 

"Of course we can." Thor assured him, holding onto him a bit tighter. "We can stay like this for as long as you need to."

 

Thor had only had two people do this to him, and that was his parents, but at least two people were better than no people at all. He could not even imagine what it must have been like to go through your entire life feeling like you were never loved. Or maybe Loki didn't see it like that? Maybe because he didn't really know what love was, he hadn't actually missed it? Nevertheless, it was awful, and Thor wished he could show Loki the love that he deserved, but that wasn't possible, and it would only make it worse when the time finally came for Loki to sacrifice himself.

 

"Thank you." Loki said and smiled up at him, huddling up to him a bit more.

 

When Loki smiled back at him, Thor could feel his heart speeding up a little bit, but he tried not to think about that too much. He didn't want to acknowledge just how much Loki was making him feel. He was growing way too attached to him, and he knew it would only end with a lot of pain for him. At the same time, though, he really couldn't stop it. How was he supposed to remain professional when Loki wanted his help? When he was in his arms like this? It was impossible. 

 

After a while - and Thor did not know how long they stayed like this - he noticed that Loki had fallen asleep, and Thor smiled, because he really thought this was a good thing. Loki had obviously needed the rest, and maybe he even needed to sleep as well. Either way, Thor was happy to hold him while he slept, and he hoped he was having pleasant dreams. To be honest, it was a bit tempting to just... try to touch him, but he knew that would not be acceptable, and he did not want to risk so many lives simply because he could not control himself. Besides, if he were to touch Loki, he wanted Loki to _want_ to touch him. It would have to wait.


	7. Chapter 7

Every mind has inner walls. 

 

Walls that protected the mind. Walls that protected the thoughts. Walls that kept the own inner strength in control. 

 

These walls were natural and so every unnatural force that would want to go through them would mean - war. The own body and the own mind wanted to protect these things and they would try to push all intruders away. 

 

And this was exactly what Loki wanted to do.

 

He wanted to break those walls, unleash the power so he would be able to make use of it. So he would be able to transfer all this power and this energy into the Casket and recharge it that way. And by trying to break these walls he basically hurt himself which was why he started bleeding. It was horrible and it hurt. But he couldn't afford to show it. 

 

He was scared even if he would never admit it. He should not be scared. Laufey told him all the time. Being scared meant admitting being weak. And if he was weak, he wouldn't be able to perform the spell. So in conclusion he shouldn't be scared. He couldn't afford it and instead he had to be grateful to be able to do such a favour for the greater good. He would be the one to save Jotunheim and it was a great honour. He had to do this alone and no one else would be there to support him. He had to do it. Laufey would be angry with him if he would tell his father he was too scared to actually continue this now. No, this was not an option. 

 

"We can stay like this for as long as you need to."

 

Thor's voice was calming. Relaxing. Comforting. Loki had never felt as safe in his life before as he felt now. It was incredible and he didn't even know where this came from. It couldn't possibly be just because Thor had an arm around him? Loki knew he could defend himself. He was strong - stronger than these warriors here. Stronger than Thor. And this arm would never be able to protect him from anything so why was he feeling so safe right now? It wouldn't do anything for either of them if they'd be in actual danger now. 

 

But right now he did not want to think so much about it. He just wanted to calm down from the dull pain in his head now. He just wanted to stay here for as long as possible. The prince was so relaxed that he didn't even notice that he actually fell asleep after a while, his breathing falling down into a slow rhythm again. He was grateful that Thor held him and didn't even ask why. He was just there. Of course it could be that he only did this because it was his job to protect him, but in this moment Loki doubted this. 

 

When he finally woke up again, he blinked and let out a yawn as he looked around. Thor was leaning against the wall and Loki against him - with Thor's arm still around his shoulder. Loki couldn't help but smile at this and he almost didn't want to move away from him. He knew he had to sooner or later of course... Thor was asleep as well though he looked like he was already half-awake. Loki was sure that his arm would've slid down if he was really asleep - after all no one could control his own body during sleep. 

 

"Thor? Are you awake?" he then said and waited for him to open his eyes and reply, hoping he was really in the state of answering him and he didn't wake him up now.

 

A few seconds later, Thor opened his eyes, looking a little bit disoriented before he smiled at him. 

 

"Yes, I'm awake. I figured I shouldn't be sleeping on the job. I wouldn't want you to fire me."

 

Loki couldn't help but let out a small chuckle when he heard Thor's tired voice. 

 

"We should probably go and see what time it is... or even go to bed if it's late already." Loki said and stood up very slowly, somehow disappointed that Thor had to pull his arm back when they both stood up. The warmth was still present and he could still feel where his arm had been only a few seconds ago. And he silently hoped that this would happen again soon though he knew he couldn't really demand something like this from him. Leaving the room silently, Loki looked up as soon as he could look out of the large windows. Of course they woke up in the middle of the night. It was completely quiet in the palace and the only thing Loki heard were their steady footsteps while they made their way through the hallways.

 

Oddly enough, Loki started to wonder what would happen once he was gone. He knew he'd save the realm and that everyone would continue to just live their lives as if nothing happened. What would Thor do? Return to the king's guard? Or leave the palace? Maybe he would stay here since he befriended with Ragna... Loki was not sure. And what about the others? Would they know what Loki did for them? But then again he shouldn't ask for credit. His abilities were a gift from the gods. A gift from Yggdrasill itself and he would give it back to them with that spell.

 

When they finally entered his room again he turned around to look at Thor once he was standing in front of his bed. 

 

"Thank you, Thor." he said with a thin smile.

 

"You're welcome."

 

You won't tell anyone, will you?"

 

"Of course not... Good night, your highness." Thor replied and bowed his head before he turned around to head back to his own room. 

 

The prince nodded at his words and waited until Thor was back in his own room. The door was shut and Loki stayed there for another while, letting the fur drop down to the floor. He raised one of his hands and put it on his shoulder right where Thor's hand had been. The warmth was gone by now but he could still feel it. Loki wondered if every other Frost Giants were so warm as well. After all their blood was like melted ice. But Thor's hand was warm almost as if his blood was warmed up by the sun. Shaking his head to push that thoughts away he finally crawled back to bed. Falling down to the mattress he grabbed the blankets and some furs as well to make himself comfortable until he finally found a position he could sleep in. Letting out a tired yawn he rolled around and closed his eyes. They'd have to continue their training tomorrow. If Thor felt better and the wound was healed, maybe they'd continue to try running towards that mountain. And with that thought at the back of his head, Loki slowly drifted off into a deep sleep that was not to calm down, but to really let his body rest. 

 

****

 

When Loki finally woke up, he was woken up by Ragna's voice. 

 

"Good morning, your highness." she said and opened the curtains of his room. Loki sighed and got up slowly, watching her running through the room while she put something for breakfast on the table. 

 

"I didn't even order you to bring me breakfast today." Loki said with a small frown.

 

"I thought it might be more comfortable around here. Your parents and your brothers aren't in the palace today."

 

"What do you mean? Where are they?!"

 

" Ásgarðr, my prince. Laufey wished to discuss a matter with the Allfather... but I am afraid I don't know what he wanted to talk about with him. He didn't tell me."

 

"Alright just... go and wake Thor up."

 

Loki ordered and stood up when Ragna disappeared in the next room. He wondered what could have been that important that his father didn't even bother to tell him. Hopefully he would tell him later this day. He sighed, staring down at the food. Loki already felt better than yesterday.

 

Luckily it didn't take very long before Thor entered the room as well.

 

"Good morning, your highness. I trust you had a good sleep?"

 

He looked up when both Ragna and Thor entered again. He smiled at Thor, nodding at him. 

 

"I did." he agreed and looked back to his breakfast. He wondered what Ragna would say if she knew what happened last night. It was nothing bad, was it? Seeking comfort was normal - usually. Not for Loki though. But anyway, she wouldn't find out anyway. No one could know and it was good like this. Not only would Laufey send Thor away, no he would have Loki train more to make him stop thinking about Thor. He knew he had duties to fulfill but now that Thor showed him things that he never knew about before... he started to want to enjoy life.

 

"Did you sleep well?" Ragna suddenly asked, turning towards Thor. She smiled and had her hands folded behind her back after preparing something to eat for Thor as well, taking a step backwards. "I hope your wound has healed at least a bit over night?"

 

"Yes, I did. Thank you for asking. And... I think it has. I don't know, I haven't really had an opportunity to change my bandages yet so... I haven't been able to check yet."

 

"I hope so." Ragna replied with a chuckle. "If you want to, I could help you with your bandages after you finish breakfast. No one should start training with old bandages after all." she continued and winked. 

 

Loki didn't say anything. It felt weird. Ragna had raised him as best as she could and now he was jealous? This couldn't be. Why would he feel like that towards her? There was no reason. Thor couldn't possibly make her his first priority? He couldn't - he was his personal guard. His first priority should be him and no one else. He actually started feeling bad for being jealous, Ragna didn't deserve it. But he didn't know how to stop it so instead of saying anything he simply decided to say nothing and let them talk while he paid attention to his breakfast.

 

"This is very kind of you Ragna." Thor replied as he sat down to eat something as well. "Your help would be most welcomed."

 

When Loki was finished he stood up, pushing his plate away a little before drinking the last bit of his juice. Then he moved over to his bed again and grabbed the book with the spell to read in it. After all he had to take the next step now and he had to finish the theory before going on with actually doing it - and it would take a while for him to memorise everything which was why he didn't want to lose any time. Laufey seemed to be a little tense lately and Loki wondered if this had something to do with the power of the Casket. It grew weaker each day. And it was only a matter of time before the Casket wouldn't shield them from Heimdall's all-seing eyes. How did they even know it didn't happen already? Maybe he could already see all of them? For a moment, Loki thought about the possibility that this was the reason why Laufey needed to discuss something with Odin today...

 

Meanwhile, Ragna nodded when Thor was finished. "Come on then. I'm sure there are some in your room." she announced and headed for Thor's room together with him so Loki was alone in his own room again.

 

The next stage sounded utterly different from what he had to do to break the third barrier. But if he'd be able to do it, he could finish this by the end of the week. And then he'd do the last one - everything would be okay. He had three weeks left and he needed two weeks to complete the spell which meant he had one left to relax and prepare himself. This was more than enough and even if his own determination diminished slowly, he was still willing to do this.

 

Though, when Thor entered the room again, Loki only finished the paragraph he was currently reading before he put the book down to look up to Thor. He was just staying there - like always, waiting for Loki to say something. Loki still wondered what he was thinking though. He was always quiet around him and careful with what he said. Though yesterday had been different. Was it because he had been hurt? If so, Loki hoped Thor wouldn't start talking to him only when he was hurt. But on the other hand... maybe it was inappropriate for him to tell his personal guard he could always just say something if he felt like talking. Maybe Thor thought he shouldn't do this? 

 

Pushing these thoughts away, Loki finally stood up and tied his long hair back to get it out of the way. 

 

"We're going to work on your stamina again today." he said and turned around to Thor once he was done with his hair. "That means you'll have to run again. But only as much as you can. If you want to stop, we'll stop." Loki added and gestured towards the door before heading outside towards the horses without waiting for Thor to reply.

 

****

 

As soon as they started, Loki was in front of him again, making his horse run at the same pace as Thor did. They ran faster after a couple of hours and Loki noticed that he continuingly got faster. Loki turned to look at him now and then, always seeing a severe expression on his face as if he was completely determined to make it today, no matter what. Loki was sure it would take them the whole day - maybe even to the night. His own horse needed six hours if he ran as fast as he could all the time so Loki was not sure how much time they would need to reach the mountain today. 

 

And then finally - after about eight hours, Thor fell down to the floor. Loki stopped as well and ran back a few meters so he could reach Thor. He looked exhausted and Loki just hoped that he wasn't straining himself too much. He knew that this was a bad thing and after all he didn't want him to burn out - he wanted him to improve. Though he doubted that Thor saw it that way. It was a huge improvement and Loki was rather proud in this moment. He'd been faster, he managed to run longer and if they would continue... Maybe they would really make it today? It would be dark once they got there and they would need the whole night to return or have to return in the morning. And now that he thought about it, maybe it was not such a bad thing. Loki pulled the water out of the bag at the saddle and handed the waterskin to Thor. 

 

"Here." he said. "You're doing great today. I'm impressed." 

 

"Just... just give me a short break." Thor breathed. "I will make it today."

 

Though when he offered him the waterskin, Thor looked up. He looked utterly surprised and taken off guard for a moment. 

 

"Thank you." Thor said, smiling up at him before he took a few large sips from the water, remaining on the ground for a couple of minutes. Then he stood up again, much to Loki's surprise. 

 

"I'm ready to continue." Thor said firmly. 

 

Loki watched him for a while and was surprised to see the changing expression. He didn't do anything different, did he? No, not really and yet Thor seemed to be utterly pleased. But Loki didn't ask him about it, he just thought it was the best to let him be for now. Sure he was glad that Thor seemed to be happy - after all he didn't want him to be sad. He wanted him to feel good in his company and even if Loki was not one hundred percent sure that this had something to do with him... he liked to believe it did. 

 

Putting the waterskin back into the bag, he held onto the mane of his horse again and turned Svaðilfari around. "Alright. Go." the prince said and Svaðilfari began to run again. Slow at first but then he ran as fast as Thor again, going at the same pace. Thor seemed to be pushing himself but Loki didn't want him to say he should stop. He felt like it would only disappoint him so instead of telling him to stop he just let him run. If he kept this up, he'd be way too exhausted to make it back and he could already tell that his own horse would soon need at least a break. So it seemed as if they'd spend the night out in the wild here - or at the mountain. 

 

By the time it was completely dark, Loki suddenly stopped his horse. 

 

"Thor, stop running!" he ordered when he noticed that Thor somehow seemed to be in some kind of trance. His body just kept running and his mind was somewhere else - at least it looked like it. 

 

Loki showed him a smile when he jumped off the back of his horse. "You made it. We're there. Look." he said and pointed behind them when Thor finally looked at him, obviously very confused about why he'd stopped him. 

 

The palace was small from here and the land that was now in front of him wide, almost as if they were looking at the sea because of the colours and the angle, the shadows that drew patterns on the ground.

 

Thor was panting and he looked like he couldn't really believe that he actually made it. He could see that he was completely exhausted and probably not even able to walk straight anymore but then again... he could clearly see the joy in his eyes after he told him that he made it. Loki couldn't help but smile at the sight of pure joy in Thor's eyes, like a child. As if he was just about to open a present on his birthday. The prince enjoyed seeing him like this and when Thor let his eyes wander around the sight they were having right now, he took a few steps closer until he was standing right next to him. 

 

"It feels good, doesn't it?" he asked with a smile on his lips. "You're good. I'm proud that you made it in such a short time." he added and sat down on the ground. "But... going back now is probably not a good idea. How about we stay here tonight instead of going back after a break?" Loki suggested carefully, not really knowing if this would sound weird or something.

 

"It feels amazing!" Thor finally said, looking around while he still tried to catch his breath. "If this is what you want, your highness."

 

Meanwhile Loki grabbed the furs and put them on the ground, arranging them so they could make themselves comfortable before he grabbed the bags and put them next to him as well should they want to eat something. Though he used the last blanket to put it around his shoulders like Thor had done it yesterday. Then he looked down the mountain and smiled to himself. This place was beautiful and Loki loved coming here. It was a place where he could think, just sit and relish the view they had from here. It was almost as if they were in a whole different realm, separated from the palace because of the way everything looked from here. He sat there in silence again for a few moments before he dared to speak up again. It was weird that he was even afraid... to what? To be rejected? Why should he be afraid of that. Loki was sure Thor wouldn't say no - for whatever reason he might have. But yes, he was a little afraid.

 

"Would you put your arm around me again?"

 

Thor only slowly turned to him but then he shifted closer, giving him a soft smile and Loki could feel a wave of relief washing over him. 

 

"Like this?" Thor asked, making sure not to touch his skin, only the blanket. 

 

"Yes, like this." Loki answered quietly and leaned against him, loving the warmth of his arm against his back. 

 

"Have you heard it too? Father went to Ásgarðr today because he wanted to discuss something with the Allfather. He thinks there is a war knocking on our doors. I think this is why he went there today." Loki sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "I'm afraid. Are you afraid of anything?"

 

"No, I haven't heard... I uhm- No. I'm not. I can't be. As a warrior I have to be brave. I have to be willing to fight and I have to be willing to sacrifice myself. Fear can't be involved."

 

"You're brave." Loki replied when he felt Thor holding him tighter. 

 

He could feel his heart starting to beat faster and it was the weirdest feeling he ever had. It was irritating. It felt nice and yet he was a bit scared by it. It made him feel comfortable but his limbs were getting numb. The feelings were all a contradiction and yet it seemed to fit. But he meant what he'd said. Thor was brave that he was not afraid. Not afraid of war. Not afraid to fight. And to feel no fear when it came to this, one needed to be utterly brave. Loki knew lots of warriors who were afraid to fight - even if they'd never admit it out in the open. But he was the prince and his servants had their ears everywhere. 

 

"How do you do it?" Loki asked and looked up a little, feeling Thor's hair tickling his forehead. "I mean not being afraid." if he knew, it would be a huge help. 

 

The simple thought of not being afraid of what he had to do anymore... the thought alone was helping him a lot. It would help him trying to be a little more positive about all that.

 

"I don't know." Thor answered slowly. "I suppose I have nothing to be afraid of. My parents are gone and I have no one else in my life right now, which means I am not afraid to lose anyone. And I am not afraid to die either. I don't _want_ to die of course but I suppose... that if I had someone in my life, if I had a family and many friends, then I would probably be afraid because then I would have something to lose. But now, there is nothing."

 

Loki was only slightly disappointed. So his guess was true. This was only a job for him and he wasn't doing this because he... well, because he enjoyed it too. Thor was here because he had to. Of course he was. And he only granted him his wish - or rather did this because Loki asked him to - because it was his job to do anything Loki asked him to do. He didn't like him, he only took care of him because he had to. Hearing that Thor didn't have anyone in his life was almost a proof of that. Loki let out a subtle sigh. It was sad because Loki thought that Thor enjoyed this at least little bit, but obviously he didn't. And on the other hand it was sad to know that Thor was alone and Loki didn't want him to be alone. That he didn't have anyone and he still was so brave and full of energy. Loki was impressed by what he was capable of. 

 

"I see." he simply said with a quiet voice.

 

M maybe getting to know him was not a good idea if Thor didn't want to. He thought that they could get to know each other tonight but apparently he was mistaken. Turning away from him he shifted his weight a little, forcing Thor to pull his arm back because of that motion. He moved away and turned down to where he put his fur on the ground, sitting down on it instead. 

 

"Maybe we should go to sleep." he suggested, grabbing an apple from the bag at the saddle, giving it to Svaðilfari absently.

 

There was a short silence but then Thor spoke up again.

 

"Did I say something wrong, your highness?"

 

Loki watched his horse eat that apple and only looked up when he heard Thor's voice. He certainly didn't expect him to actually ask why he moved away from him. After all he'd never asked why he did what he did in the last days. Why did he start now? Maybe because they were not around the palace? Because they grew closer in the last days? He was rather irritated by it but didn't complain. 

 

"I..." how should he start? 

 

"It's just that I don't want you to do this if you don't want to. I know you feel like you have to because it's your job. Everyone does everything I say because they fear being punished. And it's just that..." maybe it was selfish of him but Thor asked him this. And it would not be helpful to lie at this point now would it? "I shouldn't enjoy this as much as I do but I know that you don't comfort me because you want to. And knowing that it just.. doesn't feel right."

 

"I do not fear being punished." Thor answered slowly, shaking his head. "This is my job, yes. Sitting here with you is my job, and following your orders is my job, but comforting you..." he shook his head. "That is not just a job to me. I think you have gotten the wrong impression of me. A few days ago you seemed to think I do not like you, and that is not true. I enjoy your company, and I want to be there for you, even though I know I am nothing more than your personal guard. So, when I comfort you... it is because I want to, because I do not like seeing you upset."

 

For a moment Loki was not so sure whether Thor was telling the truth. But then again why would he lie? He would not get anything from lying to him. So he did like him? Even if just a little bit. But this was enough. Knowing that Thor actually wanted to do this was not only relieving but Loki found himself being weirdly happy because of that. 

 

"Really?" he asked and only noticed that this question was rather stupid the moment he asked. Being alone with Thor always kind of... made him act different and Loki started to enjoy this far too much. 

 

He waited another few moments before he then decided to give it another try, going back towards him. He made himself comfortable next to him again, leaning against him like he did only moments before. That had been the first time someone had talked freely to him or told him that he liked him and Loki wanted to keep this moment in his head forever. It was wonderful and even if Thor was only his personal guard... it didn't feel like it. 

 

"You are not just my personal guard." he slowly started. "I know we don't know each other enough to be friends but... I wish we would."

 

Thor wasted no time before putting his arm back around him and Loki could see him smiling. "I wish that too." he agreed.

 

"But only when no one's watching. I don't want father to know. He'll probably say I shouldn't befriend you."

 

He was glad that they would probably do this more often now. After all now that they both knew that they wanted and enjoyed this... as soon as no one was watching them, they could do this. It was not like Thor was touching him. This here was not forbidden and so no one could tell them to stop even if they were caught. Though Loki would probably understand it when Laufey said they shouldn't do this because it will do nothing for them. But then again.. he didn't care. Loki knew he didn't have much time left. Three weeks was nothing. But he wanted to use this time to get to know Thor. Maybe he could even help find him out where he came from? From what he found out.. Thor didn't know... but he wanted to know. After all Loki knew exactly that Laufey knew something about Thor - otherwise he wouldn't want to keep him alive at all costs. The prince was not sure if he would tell him, but maybe he could give it a try. And to be honest - Loki was curious as well so he'd do both of them a favour. 

 

"Have you ever thought about asking father where you came from? He knows about the heritage of almost every Jötun in this realm."

 

"Yes, I have. But do you really think he would tell me?"

 

"I don't know." Loki answered, shrugging lightly. 

 

Laufey probably knew a lot more than he said he did. Loki had already asked him why he was watching over Thor to make sure nothing serious happens to him. Injuries were alright as long as he was still alive. Though when Loki asked why he was treated differently, he said this was not meant for his ears. He had a reason but he was not going to tell him. But maybe he would tell him in time? After all he was not going to live much longer and if he'd grant him one wish, he might as well tell him who Thor was? This way Loki could tell him before it was too late and Thor would finally know. Loki wondered what it felt like not to know where he came from. Not to know where you belong. It must feel horrible. 

 

There was a long moment of silence between them where they just sat there and stared into the distance again but then Loki decided that he should maybe say something. He didn't know what but at least something had to be there didn't it? 

 

"What do friends talk about?" he finally asked.

 

Thor chuckled and rubbed his thumb over the fabric on his shoulder. 

 

"I am not sure... You could tell me something about yourself? If you want to, of course."

 

When Thor suggested he could tell him something about himself, Loki licked his thin lips a bit clueless, thinking about what he could tell him actually. He didn't think that there were many interesting things about him but he tried to find some before he started. 

 

"I like to read?" he started but then again this was probably obvious. "I like poetry and honey. Honey is rare but some of our people manage to sneak into other realms and get some. Have you ever tried honey?" most realms didn't have it and they couldn't go all the way to Miðgarðr because they'd get caught too easily and the people on earth weren't ready yet to know about other realms - they would probably freak out. They always tried to get some from Ásgarðr but Heimdallr was always there to send them away again. 

 

"No, I haven't tried honey yet."

 

"It's kind of sticky but it's very sweet. And it looks like liquid gold. I'll save a bit for you next time we have it so you can try... Oh- And I love dancing."

 

"You love dancing? Hm... I haven't danced much yet. I don't think I am any good at it either." Thor answered with a chuckle. 

 

 

"I could show you a little if you want but... tell me something about you now."

 

"There is not much to tell, really. I can't remember a time before my parents. . I know they were not my real parents, but they treated me as a son, and I know they loved me. I know I'm supposed to be curious about my time before that, and in a way I am, but at the same time I don't really see the point. I guess... It's not so much that I want to find out who my real parents are, but I want to find out where I come from, if that makes any sense. I am not looking for a family, I am looking for a place to fit in."

 

"So you weren't born here." Loki pointed out. Was he brought here? Or someone took him away from home? Maybe his parents died here and this was why he was left in this realm? The more he thought about all this the more he realised he was utterly curious about it. "How old were you when you got here?" he asked. 

 

"I don't know how old I was when I got here. I certainly don't remember it and I never asked my parents about it. I must have been quite young. Perhaps not even a year. The earliest memory I have... I think I was about four. My mother was walking me around, talking to me about becoming a warrior. So I know I must have gotten here before I was four but I am not exactly sure when."

 

"If it makes you feel any better..." he started and looked up again. "I think you fit in. Maybe you will find some place you'll fit in even better once you know where you come from but you fit in here. At least for me."

 

"Thank you. I do feel like I fit in when I'm around you. It's like I have a purpose. A meaning." 

 

"That's a nice think to hear." Loki answered with a genuine smile. 

 

THen, he shifted his weight a little and pulled back just so much that he could put his arm around Thor as well, just to see how it would feel like. He didn't know where this urge suddenly came from but since Thor had said he enjoyed this as well... he didn't ask if he could do it. He simply did it. He put his arm to his back and let it rest there, the position causing him to turn slightly towards him so he could now rest his chin on Thor's shoulder with Thor's arm still on his own back. 

 

"It feels good the other way round too." he pointed out.

 

"Yes, it does." Thor agreed, nodding at him. 

 

Loki smiled when Thor told him that he liked it too. It was not really something he intended doing in the first place but... it just happened. Loki decided to just let his body do what felt right. And putting his hand on Thor's back was definitely something that felt good. And right. Loki sighed and looked back to the palace again. 

 

"Now I'm getting a bit tired." he said and let out a short yawn. "Maybe we could continue talking tomorrow. I don't think we'll get a proper conversation when one of us is tired." he continued and finally pulled back a bit to move only a few centimeters to the side to get back on his own fur. "What do you think?"

 

"Of course. Go to sleep, your highness. I will keep watch."

 

"Okay... Good night Thor." Loki said and lay down. "If you get hungry, there's something in the bag." 

 

And with that Loki pulled the thin blanket over himself, closing his eyes. 

 

****

 

Loki had allowed to have Svaðilfari carry Thor back when they woke up and packed their things the next morning. But as calm as yesterday evening and their shared morning had been, as soon as they returned to the palace... the calmness was over. When they reached it, three servants were already running towards them, eyes wide. 

 

"My prince!" one of them called. "King Laufey demands your presence. The whole palace is searching for you since the morning!" the second one said and Loki bit his lip. This clearly did not sound like Laufey was in a good mood. 

 

"Why?"

 

"He would not tell anyone. But it is an urgent matter."

 

****

 

"Loki, where have you been?!!" Laufey yelled, leaning forward.

 

"I didn't know we wouldn't return s-"

 

"I don't care!! You should have told someone! What if something would've happened? Jötunheimr will go down if something happens to you!" he boomed and Loki could feel his echo ringing in his ears. 

 

"I know father. I'm... I'm sory."

 

There was a long silence where Laufey just looked down at him and then for a few moments he observed Thor who was standing right behind him, completely silent. Then he finally spoke up again. 

 

"I talked to Odin. He will take the Casket away from us and we need to defend ourselves. You will recharge the Casket by the end of next week. We can't afford to lose any more time."

 

This made Loki look up again. Next week! This was too soon. Ten days weren't nearly enough days to finish the spell. But on the other hand he could understand why Laufey needed the Casket. Otherwise Odin would destroy Jotunheim. 

 

"Yes father." Loki finally said and turned around to leave the room again, heading towards his own chambers. "Come on, Thor."

 

****

 

After managing to calm down a bit he looked up again and grabbed his book from his bed before sitting down and opening it to continue reading the next chapter. Though before starting he looked up to Thor. 

 

"Sorry that you heard that..." he started. "If you want to you can go and do whatever you want. I'll stay here for the rest of the day." he announced and leaned back.

 

"I will stay here with you." Thor replied, shaking his head.

 

Loki showed him a light smile. Thor didn't even know what was going on and he still decided to stay with him. For a few moments Loki thought about telling him what was going to happen but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do so. He simply nodded in agreement and started to read again. He still had a lot to read, re-read and memorise before he could break the last two barriers in his mind. But while Loki just concentrated on reading he didn't even notice how much time passed. He could see that Thor was still there even if he didn't notice whether he was awake or not and it reassured him to know that someone was simply... there. Even if Thor couldn't change anything but he was grateful that he was there for him anyway.

 

He managed to finish the next two chapters and read them again and again, trying to memorise how it worked. Though after noticing that he couldn't quite concentrate properly anymore... he stopped and looked up. It was dark outside already - or maybe it was already starting to get bright again? Was it about to be night or day again? Searching for Thor he saw that he was still there but his eyes were closed. So he guessed he'd read through the night. Letting out a sigh he put the book to the side. 

 

...He was not ready. He did not want to die especially now that he got the idea of how much he missed in his life up to this date. But there was nothing he could do. Nothing.

 

Loki remained on the bed for a while longer and stared at Thor while he was still asleep. He did not know what would happen once he was gone. His previous guards were executed because of their mistakes but he know Thor wouldn't. So what would happen? Would he remain in the palace and work along Ragna's side? Maybe he would return to be a simple warrior again. Or he would go and see where he came from. Loki was not sure and he was sad that he would never get to know anything about it.

 

"Are you alright, your highness?"

 

Loki jumped when he suddenly heard Thor's voice. So he had been awake after all. 

 

"I... I'm not sure. Are you?"

 

"I've been better."

 

He wondered if he was bothered by all this. After all he... well he knew nothing about all this. He wanted to make sure that Thor could continue a normal life afterwards but he couldn't do that. He had to pretend that nothing serious would happen. But then again Loki doubted that Thor wasn't suspicious already. Some things already happened that were simply so weird that Thor must know that something was up. And a part of Loki wanted to tell him. 

 

"Thor... It will influence your life so I might as well tell you." he started and pressed his lips together. "The spell father was talking about will pull my soul out of my body and merge it with the Casket to recharge its energy." he briefly said. "It will kill me but will make sure that Jötunheimr continues to exist for another eight thousand years or so before it needs to be recharged again." Right now Loki wished that he could read in his mind. "You will get to keep your bracelet if you want to. I will tell Laufey that I ordered you to whatever you're now telling me you want to do afterwards. You have time until next week, then I have to know what I should tell him so he doesn't put you back somewhere he wants to."

 

There was a long silence before Thor finally answered and Loki was relieved that he finally said something.

 

"I understand, your highness." he said, bowing his head.

 

"Okay... Take your time to think about it."

 

Of course this was everything Thor said - what did he expect? Nothing. Though he had to admit that he wished he would say at least _something_. Loki was not even sure what he expected. But he now knew what it felt like if someone liked you. If someone supported you. Loki shook his head. This was not something to think about now. He had to concentrate on the spell right now and everything else was not important. He already grew way too attached to him and Loki knew it would be difficult to let go next week. The thought alone was frightening. He would die. He would simply stop to exist and everyone else would continue.

 

Looking up again, Loki grabbed the book and took another deep breath - again trying to remain calm because he could feel that it was getting more and more difficult. 

 

"I'm going to the meditation room." Loki announced and walked outside. Of course Thor came with him. He heard his footsteps. 

 

Usually they were reassuring but this time it just felt like this sound made everything even harder.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will reveal a lot of things that we were building up so I hope no one of you will be disappointed about the way it turns out here uvu!
> 
> Also, this FF will be divided in several parts because of the change of the "main goal" and the setting.   
> This Chapter will be the last one for the first part! The next Chapter will be some kind of an Epilogue and then I'll continue with the next part c: !

It was getting better and worse at the same time.

 

He was finally getting to know Loki better but at the same time it was horrible that it was like this. He knew Loki would die in a matter of days. 

 

Thor could still hear his pained voice in his head. Yesterday after Loki had finished one of his meditation sessions. It had been horrible. 

 

_I can't do it. Thor, I'll fail._

 

It broke his heart and all he wanted to do was to wrap him in his arms properly. Give him some comfort. Do everything so he would feel better. But Thor knew better than to do that. He shouldn't do this and so he didn't, no matter how much he wanted to. And Loki had tried several times yesterday. He couldn't make it through the next barrier and that meant it would be harder in the end. The next days... he would probably spend a lot of time in this room - but Thor would stay with him. He wanted to stay with him and give him all the support he wanted of him. Thor knew he could not do much but hopefully, his company was enough for now. 

 

Though apparently it had worked. Thor had been surprised when Loki had suggested they should go and eat dinner together. He'd seen him smile and Thor had even dared to share one of his dearest memories with the prince. It was a memory about a time where he was an infant. It was more a dream than a memory though because he couldn't say for sure whether it actually happened or not. Everything was golden in this memory. He had felt safe there and everything had been comfortable and warm and a woman was singing to him. But that was all. He couldn't remember a face - a room... He couldn't even remember the words. But that was his earliest memory and Thor had to admit that it felt utterly great to share something like this with the prince. 

 

"Thor?"

 

"Yes, my prince?"

 

Thor snapped out of his memories from yesterday evening when he heard Loki's voice. He came out of the bathroom and his skin was still slightly wet. He looked incredible and his slender waist was swaying again with each step. It was hypnotising. Thor quickly looked down, not wanting to feel like he was purposefully watching Loki while he was naked. Though he didn't mind watching him as soon as he was fully clothed again. Or well - at least what was considered fully here in Jotunheim. As always - he looked very beautiful and Thor found himself smiling at the sight. 

 

"Could you braid my hair today?"

 

Thor's eyes widened in surprise at this very unexpected question. Loki wanted him to braid his hair? Really? he knew how to braid hair but... it would feel very personal to do it to Loki's hair. At the same time he did not want to turn him down because he had a feeling he may regret it later. Swallowing, Thor nodded his head, slowly walking up to Loki.

 

"Would you like one big one or several small ones?"

 

"Several small ones. Like those in your hair."

 

Thor nodded his head. He hesitated for only a brief second before reaching up and brushing his fingers through Loki's hair. It was even softer than he had imagined it to be, and he tried not to smile too widely when he realised this. It was strangely intimate to have his fingers touching Loki's hair like this, and Thor was a little bit nervous about it, but he hopefully managed not to show it. Carefully, he sorted a part of Loki's hair into three different strands, and then began to weave it. His fingers were a bit clumsy at first because of the fact that he was a bit nervous, but after a while he relaxed, and he let his fingers move swiftly through Loki's hair, twisting and weaving in order to create tiny little braids. After the first one was ready, he started on the next one, and he wondered briefly if maybe he should say something. But what should he say? Should he compliment Loki on his beautiful hair, and tell him how nice it felt to be braiding it? That sounded kind of strange, so he decided to stay quiet, focusing on the dark hair in front of him instead.

 

And once he had made several, small braids, Thor brushed his fingers through Loki's hair one last time before letting his hands drop back to his sides. It had been absolutely wonderful to be able to touch Loki, even if it was just his hair, and Thor wondered if he would be allowed to do it again. They did not have a lot of time left, so there was of course a chance that this had been his one and only chance of doing it. The thought saddened him a bit, but he also realised there was nothing he could do about it, and he might as well just accept it even if this would be hard.

 

"Thank you, Thor. I love it." Loki said and reached up to his hair, turning in front of the mirror in order to look at what Thor had created.

 

"You're welcome."

 

"Are you hungry? How about we go and see if my brothers left something behind for us." 

 

Thor chuckled. "Yes, that sounds like a good idea my lord."

 

And with that Thor followed him into the dining hall again. And like always when Loki remained quiet, Thor drifted away with his thoughts. Recently he found himself thinking about his little secret more often. A part of him wondered if perhaps he could tell him right before he was about to do the spell, because then Loki would not have enough time to reject him and tell him he was an idiot for thinking he could ever end up together with the prince of Jötunheimr. On the other hand, this seemed kind of cruel, to tell Loki such a big secret right before he was about to die. After all, that moment was about Loki, and Jotunheim, not about him. Besides, maybe it would make Loki lose focus? And - worst of all - what if Loki told him he liked him too? Then, Thor would have to live the rest of his life knowing that they could have... What could they have done? Loki was not allowed to be touched. But they could have spent time together, they could have done whatever couples do when they are not in bed together. Thor would rather not know whether Loki had feelings for him or not. It was easier like that. Or so he thought.

 

When they finally reached the dining hall, Loki's brothers were still there and eating dinner. 

 

"Oh look. Our big brother decides to visit us." Byleistr said. Thor could see how Loki rolled his eyes.

 

"Did you two at least left some food for us?"

 

Helblindi laughed and looked around. "Us?!" then his eyes flicked over towards Thor and he raised an eyebrow. "Ah- you mean that one." he teased.

 

Loki simply gestured towards Thor to sit down and Thor did.

 

"Watch your tongue, Helblindi. I'm sure you don't want to risk having a frozen tongue for a week again, am I right?" Loki threatened with a grin and his brothers looked at him rather offended but remained silent. Then, Loki turned towards Thor again.

 

"Enjoy your meal."

 

Thor knew he was probably not allowed to laugh but he thought it was very interesting and rather funny to see how Loki interacted with his younger siblings. They seemed friendly and Thor wondered if the brothers had been allowed to become attached to Loki. Or maybe they just hadn't cared too much about the rules. It was difficult to tell. He smiled back at Loki and grabbed some food, putting it on his plate eagerly, only now realising just how hungry he had been.

 

"Tch- you wouldn't do that again. Father was angry with you when you did that." Helblindi then argued and chuckled, raising an eyebrow. Loki simply shrugged.

 

"Don't test me if you want to keep your tongue." he replied, grinning. And in the moment Helblindi wanted to take another sip of his drink, the whole drink fell down on the table - frozen. 

 

"Oh, very funny Loki." Helblindi commented with a shake of his head and Loki couldn't help but let out a laugh.

 

Thor had been an only child and therefore it was kind of fascinating for him to watch their interaction. His own upbringing had been kind of lonely in general. A lot of the other children had thought him strange not only because of his figure, but because of his hair and the strange blue colour of his eyes. Not that he'd never had any friends - but there had not been many. It had bothered him a little at times and maybe that was why he had tried so hard to become the best warriors. He felt like he needed to prove himself. 

 

"Oy, Thor!" Byleistr suddenly said and Thor looked up. "I heard you're the best warrior around here. Would you be interested in sparring with me tomorrow?" he asked. 

 

He clearly hadn't expected this at all. Though Thor had to admit that he was kind of proud of himself when Byleistr said he'd heard that he was the best warrior around here. Maybe he should have been a little intimidated to spar with a prince... but Thor saw it as a challenge and another way to prove himself. He turned to look at Loki.

 

"If it is alright with you, your highness."

 

"Yes, of course." Loki replied and nodded, still smiling. "As long as you two fight fairly... I'm all for it."

 

"No tricks. No holding back. We're not going to hurt the other one seriously - just bringing the other one down. Who's down first loses." Byleistr explained with a smile. It was not witty. It was not malicious. It was a simple smile and Thor could see that Byleistr was honestly interested in a fair fight against him. 

 

Then, Thor nodded. It sounded like a fair and fun game. And he was curious to find out if he would be able to beat him. This hadn't been the first time Byleistr challenged a warrior. But up to now, Byleistr had always won. Some warriors clearly toned down their own fighting, in fear of accidentally humiliating the prince by winning over him, but Thor had no such thoughts. He was going to do everything he could to win. As much as the fight would allow, at least.

 

"I accept your challenge, my prince." Thor said, looking back at Byleistr. 

 

 

This would be very interesting, and Thor hoped Loki would want to watch. He would watch, wouldn't he? He assumed as much. After all, if he wanted to watch Thor fight the other warriors, this should be even more exciting for him to watch, since Thor would be fighting his brother.

 

****

 

"Can I watch?"

 

"Yes, of course! I... I actually hoped you would watch."

 

Loki nodded and smiled at him. Yes... Yes he wanted to see him fight. And he was glad that Thor wanted him to watch. That he wanted to show him something - it felt nice and Loki was relieved that Thor actually told him. 

 

"Then I will." Loki replied and stretched himself a little. 

 

This was definitely something to look forward to and Loki was already eager to fall asleep in a few hours - after all he promised to be done by next week so he still had to read a little bit. 

 

 

"I'd gladly tell you how he fights but I guess that would be cheating." he then pointed out with a light chuckle. When they reached his private chambers, Loki headed straight to his bed to grab his book before making himself comfortable. "I'm going to read for a while longer." he said and looked up to him.

 

"Do you want me to stay, your highness?" Thor asked.

 

 

Loki pulled the blanket over himself when Thor asked him whether he should stay or not. Loki licked his lower lip and finally nodded. 

 

"Yes I'd feel better if you would stay." he said with a short nod. 

 

Loki did not wait for Thor to reply he just looked down to his book again, opening it where he left off the last time. The young prince continued to read even if he was a bit tired. But there was not much time left. He actually wanted to concentrate on other things now. He wanted to talk to Thor. He wanted to get to know him. Wanted to share stories like they had yesterday evening. It was a nice feeling and Loki was utterly grateful that Thor showed him what friendship meant. But that was something he shouldn't think about now. Never, actually. Loki had to concentrate on different things... this book for example. He had to finish it as fast as possible to make sure he would be able to perform the spell properly and without any disturbances. 

 

Luckily, the next chapter was not that complicated but it was long and a bit boring. After a while - he didn't know how long he actually read - Loki's eyes started to shut themselves from time to time. It was already dark outside and Loki was getting tired until he slowly fell asleep in this position and with the book still in his hands.

 

****

 

When Loki woke up the next morning he rolled around in his bed, frowning. Looking around, he tried to remember when he fell asleep yesterday. He needed a moment but then remembered that he probably fell asleep while he was reading the next chapter. And then... then what? Looking down, he realised he was covered by a blanket and the book he'd been reading in... it was on the bedside cabinet. But Loki was sure that he hadn't been covered when he fell asleep. And he didn't put the book to the side... Wait. Did Thor...? 

 

The thought alone that Thor probably pulled the blanket over him and the book to the side was heartwarming and he could feel it beating in his chest maybe a little too fast. It was something he'd never experienced before and Loki had to admit it was a little scary. What did it mean? That he considered Thor to be a friend? That it simply made him happy Thor did something like this for him? After all it _had_ do be Thor... who else could have done this? Yes it was Thor. And this alone made Loki smile. So instead of waiting for Thor or Ragna to come to him and wake him up Loki decided to turn things around. He stood up, crawling out of the bed and headed to Thor's room without hesitating. He gently opened the door and looked at Thor who was still asleep.

 

 

This was his first time to actually waking someone up but it couldn't be that bad could it? He sighed and opened the curtains swiftly before he moved to the bed, placing himself right next to it. 

 

"Thor?" he asked. "Wake up, it's morning."

 

Thor slowly opened his eyes and he blinked. His hair was messy and Loki suppressed a smile. He looked... what was the term? He looked... cute. Somehow. And when their eyes met, Thor had a look in his eyes that revealed that he was irritated to see him here. 

 

"Good morning." Thor mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "I... I assume this is not part of your normal morning routine? Waking up your personal guards?"

 

"Good morning. And no... It is not, but... considering that I'm not going to live much longer I figured I might as well try some things I've always wanted to try. Father doesn't have to know." Loki explained carefully.

 

Was this wrong? Loki thought Thor would approve it. After all he liked him didn't he? Was it the wrong to want to wake him? He didn't know much about friendship and all that but he had read it in one of his books that these kinds of things were good things. 

 

 

"You don't mind, do you?" Loki added.

 

 

"No, of course not. I just wasn't expecting it." Thor replied and he seemed to hesitate. "I have to say, your highness, I find it slightly..." there was a pause. "...curious. I'm curious that this is something you wanted to try?"

 

 

Loki could tell that Thor had wanted to say something else. But he wasn't going to ask him about it if he didn't want to actually say it. 

 

 

"Yes, I guess. There are many things I would like to try but I know that I can't do that. But... yes. Waking someone up is one of those things. Ah- making my own food would be nice as well. Or shaking someone's hand. I'm sure you have some things you would be excited about if you'd try them as well, am I right? Because honestly... I was rather excited when I woke you up right now."

 

 

"Yes... I suppose you are. Could you not go down to the kitchens and ask them if you could make your own?"

 

 

"No. I asked father but he forbid it. He said he did not want to risk me cutting or burning myself by accident. My body has never been harmed before you know."

 

 

Neither harmed nor touched. His body was clean and he'd never experienced any physical pain. It was different with that bleeding because of the spell of course. 

 

 

"But enough of me. After all you have an important meeting today, am I right?"

 

 

Thor smiled and it made Loki's heart jump.

 

 

"Yes, I suppose so." Thor answered and Loki could already hear him following him out of the room again. This time, Thor's footsteps were wonderful again and Loki hoped he would never feel their heavy sound again. 

 

 

****

 

Thor had to struggle not to start crying. It was sad. It was completely sad that things like this were exciting to Loki. Shaking someone else's hand. Making his own food. Waking someone up. These were daily things for him. Things he'd done so many times by now and it had never occurred to him that it was something special. Thor wished he could do something for Loki. Something. He didn't care what it was - just... _anything_ that would make Loki feel loved. But he did not want to risk being the cause Loki wouldn't be able to perform the spell anymore. It was so sad and it was even worse that Thor wasn't able to change anything about it. It was frustrating and Thor had no idea where to release this frustration. 

 

 

For a moment he'd thought about telling Loki that he was sorry for him. But he couldn't do that. He had to remain strong and he had to make sure Loki was still confident when it came down to performing the spell. Because as it was now... Loki didn't seem to be particularly happy about the situation at all. Thor was afraid that the slightest trip would make Loki change his mind. He was slipping and it scared Thor. The whole situation. 

 

 

Was it really necessary? It sounded odd that Loki had to give his life to make sure Jötunheimr would survive. But why would Laufey lie to his own child? There was no other explanation for this spell so this had to be it. And as much as he didn't want Loki to die and as much as he felt sorry for him... He couldn't risk a destroyed Jötunheimr just because he was attached to Loki. 

 

 

But this was something he had to think about later. Now he would have to concentrate on Byleistr. 

 

 

"I won't hold back. And I hope you won't hold back either." the prince said with a smile.

 

 

"Don't worry," he said. "I won't." 

 

 

The prince was so much bigger than him, but Thor knew that wasn't going to be a problem. After all, the other warriors were bigger than him too, and he fought them almost every day. 

 

 

Byleistr motioned for him to get ready, and Thor nodded his head once to show that he was ready to start whenever he wished. Throwing just the quickest of glances over at Loki who was standing at the edge of the ring to watch them, Thor took a deep breath before they began. Admittedly, he was a little bit surprised at how good Byleistr actually was. He knew he was going to be good, but not that he was going to be this good. He had to immediately step up his game and to study the other's moves carefully to learn what kind of fighting style he had. Byleistr was a lot more graceful than the other warriors, but Thor managed to quickly adapted to it. 

 

 

In the beginning, and for a long time, it probably did look like Byleistr was going to win. Thor held himself back so he had time to figure out Byleistr's fighting style and his movements. His attacks and how he thought in battle. It was a strategy, and he happened to think it was a pretty good one. After a while though, he finally began to really fight back, and it did not take long for him to get a couple of good hits in. They even shared a smile at one point, the two of them basically telling the other without words to bring it on, and that was exactly what they both did. The last few minutes were intense, but not in any way aggressive or hateful and Thor realised he'd never enjoyed a fight more than he enjoyed this one. 

 

 

Finally, Thor managed to find a weak spot. It was just a split second where Byleistr was a little inattentive. But Thor took his chance immediately and a moment later Byleistr was down on the ground, with Thor leaning down and holding him in place. 

 

 

"Do you surrender?" he asked loudly.

 

 

Byleistr struggled for a moment but Thor made sure to hold him down.

 

 

"I surrender!" Byleistr finally called and they both stopped, standing up. 

 

 

He could hear the other warriors mumbling, whispering something to each other but he didn't care. Thor was sure they had wished for the prince to cut his head off. Byleistr smiled at him and Thor was happy to see that it was an honest smile.

 

 

"I've heard that you are good. But you're even better than I expected. You can be sure you have my respect. How about you work for me after Loki is one? Not as a guard of course. But as a hunt and battle partner perhaps?"

 

 

At Byleistr's words, he tensed up for a few seconds, because he had not expected it. First of all, to be reminded once again that Loki would die, and that he would not be around for much longer, was not something Thor wanted to hear. He also thought it was a bit cold of Byleistr to speak about it so casually, as if he did not care all that much about his brother sacrificing himself in just a short amount of time. Once he'd gotten past that, though, he managed a smile, and bowed his head. 

 

 

"Thank you," he said. "That would be an honour, your highness." It would be nice to work for Byleistr, definitely, though it was difficult for him to get excited about it when he knew that Loki would have to die first.

 

 

Byleistr nodded and smiled, taking his wrist so Thor could grab his wrist as well. A greeting between two warriors and it made Thor proud to be able to be the one Byleistr was greeting like this. But when he left, Thor eventually turned around to look at Loki. And he was greeted with a big smile. Exactly what he had hoped for. He immediately smiled back, forcing himself not to wrap his arms around Loki and kiss him. That would be bad. Especially now that they were surrounded by other people. Loki would probably slap him, or kill him. Byleistr would attack him, and the other warriors would help. Basically, Thor knew he would be in a lot of trouble if he kissed Loki right now. Or if he kissed him later, but that wasn't important. Still, he had so much energy left, and he was so happy after winning, and he just wanted to celebrate, but he couldn't do what he really wanted to do. It did damper his spirits a little bit, but he still kept the smile on his face.

 

 

"That was amazing!" Loki said and Thor's heart jumped in joy when Loki complimented him like this. 

 

"Thank you." he replied, forcing himself to keep his hands by his sides. "Though I'd like to get even better. I'd love to beat all of them." Thor added.

 

 

Loki started walking away from the training grounds again, gesturing Thor to follow him and he obliged happily. He already knew where they went. He knew the way to the meditation room by heart after all those weeks now.

 

 

"But you've already achieved that."

 

 

"I know I already defeated them all, my prince. But... That's not enough. I want to defeat them all at once. Well... No. Not at once but I would like to at least _fight_ all of them at once, and I want to be the winner. I want to know that it does not matter how many of them try to fight me at once - I will still beat them."

 

 

That was what he wanted, and he knew it was going to take a lot more to get to that point. It was one thing to fight them one at the time, it was an entirely different thing to fight all of them at once.

 

 

"Wow. That really sounds like a lot of training. But... If you really want to, we could start working on that tomorrow? You've already improved so much during the last weeks. I'm sure you'll be able to do this if you try hard enough." Loki finally answered after a very long silence. He sounded surprised but honestly - Thor understood that.

 

 

He wondered what Loki was thinking. Did he think he had gone mad? That there was no way he would ever be able to do this? If so, Thor knew he would want to prove him wrong. The problem was that he might not have enough time. Loki would be dead in two weeks, and that was most likely not enough days for Thor to be able to do this. He would have to train a lot if he wanted to get this done. He had a feeling it would take months. And they didn't have months. Still, he smiled when Loki said they could start working on it tomorrow. 

 

 

"Yes, I would like that," he said, following Loki inside the meditation room once they finally got there. "And thank you. Your trust means a lot to me," he continued, watching as Loki sat down before he closed the door behind them and went over to his own spot from where he could watch Loki in silence.

 

 

Thor tried to get as comfortable as possible while leaning against the wall, very much aware of the fact that he would probably be standing there for a few hours. Just like the last few times they'd been in here, he kept his eyes on Loki, watching him carefully for any signs of pain. After a while, he slowly sat down, leaning his head against the wall as he wondered if Loki was making any progress. He hoped so. He really hoped so, but at the same time, progress meant that Loki was one step closer to dying, and Thor was not sure how to feel about that. He was still incredibly conflicted about the entire thing. 

 

 

Yes, saving Jötunheimr was a good thing, but Loki having to die for it... That was not a good thing. Thor had grown used to being his personal guard and following him around all day. His feelings for Loki were stronger than ever, and he knew it would hurt to be forced to let him go. There was really nothing he could do about it, though, other than perhaps touching Loki long enough for his soul to become useless. Did he really want to do that, though? What would Laufey do if he all of the sudden found out Loki could no longer perform the spell? Would he kill him anyway? Would he kill Thor? Basically, it was difficult for Thor to know if it would actually work or not, and he did not want to risk the entire realm simply because he did not want to let Loki go. He'd thought about this so many times but he just... he couldn't stop thinking about it.

 

 

He snapped out of his thoughts as soon as Loki suddenly fell to the floor, and he scrambled to get up, quickly moving over there. He was coughing blood and Thor felt himself panicking. 

 

 

Luckily, Loki immediately snapped out of his hypnotised state, eyes wide as he pushed himself up, gasping for breath. 

 

 

"Why doesn't it work!!?" Loki almost yelled, more to himself than to Thor. He breathed deeply and looked up at Thor. "How long have I been away?

 

 

He knelt down next to him, giving him a compassionate look when he noticed Loki's frustration. 

 

 

"A couple of hours," he answered him, wishing he could reach out and put his arms around him. He assumed it was about three or four hours, though he could not be sure.

 

 

Loki bit down to his lower lip.

 

 

"It's not working. It's like my mind doesn't want me to continue! And you?!" Loki continued and Thor could literally hear how frustrated Loki was. "Why are you still here anyway? I know I told you to not leave my side but we agreed that we kind of-... like each other. It must be boring for you to just sit here. You don't have to anymore."

 

 

Thor nodded his head. It made sense that Loki's mind would not want to continue. It was most likely trying to protect itself, and maybe, somewhere deep down, Loki did not really want to go through with this, and his mind knew that even if he didn't. It was all about preservation of self, and Thor wondered if Loki would be able to push himself hard enough to be able to do this. He knew he was strong, of course, but this was about something else entirely. This was about setting himself up for death, and Thor did not know if Loki would be able to do that. He didn't know if _anyone_ would be able to do that. Thor did not know much about magic, or how it worked, but he imagined that sacrificing oneself would be a really big step to take. 

 

 

When Loki asked him why he was still here, Thor furrowed his brow, wondering if he did not want him to be here. Was Loki going to ask him to leave? But he had been the one to ask him if he wanted to come along, why would he want him gone? And then Loki continued, and Thor finally understood what he was talking about. Leaning closer, he wished he could have reached out and taken Loki's hand in his own, but since that was not an option, he settled for giving him a small smile. 

 

 

"But I want to," he said. "I want to be here with you." 

 

 

Sighing quietly, he turned his eyes down. "I know I cannot help you with this, but I want to be there for you, and if the only way to do that is to sit in this room with you, so be it." 

 

 

That was what friends did, wasn't it? They were there for each other. Thor cared about Loki, a lot more than he knew, and he was not going to let him go through this alone.

 

 

Loki seemed to be startled. Thor could see it in his eyes. He was irritated and he could understand that. There was a long pause and the silence between them was heavy. Thor already thought he shouldn't have said this but then Loki finally replied.

 

 

"You know what?" he asked and looked up. Their eyes met and Thor felt his heart beating just a little faster. 

 

 

"If I could allow one person to touch me it would be you." 

 

 

And then, Loki raised his hand and moved it towards Thor, his flat palm resting against the fabric of Thor's shirt right at his chest where his heart was and he smiled up at Thor.

 

 

Thor's face fell, and he stared at Loki, a confused look in his eyes. What? He did register, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he should be happy about this, but he did not understand what Loki meant. Did he mean this in a friendly way, as in he would want to pat him on the back or the arm... Or did he mean it in a not so friendly way? Thor had no idea, but then when Loki reached out and put a hand against his shirt, he realised it didn't matter. Holding his breath, he looked down, hesitating for a moment before slowly bringing his own hand up, flattening it and holding it close to Loki's own, but making sure to keep a safe enough distance so that he wouldn't accidentally touch him. Even so, his hand was very close to Loki's, and it would have been so easy for him to touch it, but then he remembered once again that he couldn't, and he clenched his hand into a fist, letting it fall back to his side again. Turning his eyes back up, he gave Loki a sad smile, hoping he understood that Thor wanted to touch him too. If only that had been possible.

 

 

"It's a shame." Loki said quietly. "Sometimes, I wonder if my soul is already useless because I desire touching you."

 

 

Never before had Thor wanted to kiss Loki as much as he did right now. He could practically feel Loki's hand against his skin, and he wished there was not that piece of fabric between the two. Loki was right. It was a shame. The thought that he would never get the chance to touch Loki, and that Loki would never be able to touch him, was an awful one. But it was reality, and there was really nothing he could do about it. He did wonder, again, what exactly Loki meant when he said he wanted to touch him, but he figured that perhaps he would never know that for sure. Not unless he asked, and he wasn't going to ask. It was better not to know. 

 

Then, Loki pulled back again, walking back to his spot in the middle of the room. 

 

 

"I will try it once more."

 

 

Feeling disappointed when Loki pulled his hand away, Thor nodded his head at his words. "I will be right here," he said, slowly pushing himself up and going back to lean against the wall again.

 

 

****

 

 

Oh, how much he wanted to touch him. He longed to touch those long, blond strands of hair. Wanted to touch those lips that looked so soft. Wanted to feel those hands on his own body. Those hands that looked so strong. 

 

What did it mean? Loki was confused. But he desired him. The longer they were together, the more he wanted him. 

 

Thor had been working for him for two months now and he could feel himself growing attached to him. Loki knew he had to watch out.

 

 

It didn't take long for Loki to fall asleep, considering that he was rather exhausted from the day. So only a couple of moments after he lay down and Thor had left his room... he fell into a deep sleep again. And this night he was even dreaming. He was walking down a long hallway and made his way to his room. No... he wasn't walking. He was running. Loki could feel his own heartbeat increasing with every step he took forward until it started hurting. He entered his room and walked up to Thor who was standing right in the middle of it. Thor was smiling when Loki stopped walking in front of him and he gently put his hands on his shoulders. Loki could feel the touch of his oddly warm body on his own that goose bumps appeared all over his skin. The prince looked up and Thor leaned down. Their lips got close to each other but just when they were about to kiss, he pulled back because he could feel someone's eyes on him. 

 

 

Loki turned around and everything went dark around him. He could see an Æsir he didn't recognize. But his eyes were almost yellow and he was staring right at him - almost through him. 

 

 

"My king, I've found him. He's grown to be a great warrior." the Æsir said and his voice was deep, low and rumbling that it made his body tremble.

 

 

And in that moment - Loki woke up with a gasp, sitting straight up in his bed. What was this? 

 

 

****

 

The next few days weren't much different. 

 

 

Thor actually started to train fighting against several warriors at a time. They started with ten and Thor was surprised how much more difficult it was. He did his best but failed at his first try. Loki encouraged him to continue and Thor had to smile each time their eyes met. His heart warmed up when he saw Loki smiling at him. He loved this feeling and he never wanted to forget it. It was heartwarming. It gave him confidence and the will to continue. 

 

Loki started to compliment him more often. When he fought good, he smiled and told him how impressed he was. 

 

 

Thor always relished those moments. 

 

After each fight, Thor would go to the meditation room with Loki and support him. Even if this support was only sitting next to him. There was nothing more he could do. Just be there and show Loki that he was there and that he would not leave him. That he would be there until the end. 

 

 

Though as the days passed, it was getting more and more difficult. 

 

 

The moments where Thor had to fight the warriors were the best moments. Because then he could take his mind off of what was about to follow. For a moment he could forget that Loki would die in a couple of days. It was going to hurt. So much. And he was still not entirely sure how to handle it. He did have something else to focus on, since he would be working with Byleistr, but at the same time he wondered how hard that was going to be. It would feel like he was replacing Loki, in a way, since he was jumping from working for one prince to working for another. Part of him wanted to pack his things and leave the moment Loki sacrificed himself, but he knew it would probably be better to stay a while longer. He had no idea where to start looking for his family, and maybe if he stayed he would be able to find something to start his search.

 

 

But no. Nothing would be able to replace Loki. Nothing.

 

 

Eventually, Thor managed to finally fight ten warriors at once. It hadn't been easy but it was an incredible feeling. And the best part about this had been the look on Loki's face. He could see how proud he was of him and Thor figured there wasn't much that could possibly be better than that. 

 

 

Loki bathed longer the closer his last day came.

 

 

He literally turned the whole bathroom into an ice cave sometimes and Thor wished now more than ever that he could just wrap his arms around him and tell him everything would be okay. But this was not possible and so he just stood there, looking at him, always there should Loki require something of him. 

 

 

The worst thing about all this was that the nearer their last day together was, the more they talked with each other. Thor really got to know him in these days. They shared some laughs. Thor realised that he was really in love with him. Loki had been cold in the beginning but now Thor felt like he found the real Loki. This was who he really was and it hurt to realise that they wouldn't be able to spend more time together. He wanted to spend more time with _this_ Loki. 

 

 

Now he was even more beautiful to him. 

 

****

 

 

Loki didn't want to do this anymore. 

 

 

Thor was getting better each day. The training really was good for something and he was proud of him. He was so glad that he'd chosen Thor to do this. And he really appreciated that he was always there for him. They couldn't do anything of course but for Loki it was enough to just... know that someone was there. That someone was there whenever he woke up from one of his meditations. And he also appreciated that Thor didn't say anything whenever he was literally freezing the bath. Loki needed this to calm himself down. It was a way of soothing his nerves. The cold was reassuring to him.

 

 

Thor was wonderful and he'd showed him how beautiful a friendship could be. And he'd started dreaming again. He wondered where this came from. Why was he dreaming these things? 

 

 

Thor having his arms wrapped around his shoulders securely. Holding him. Protecting him. His body started to tingle in his dream but then - he felt like he was drowning. Someone was calling for him. A voice Loki didn't regocnise. 

 

_"It's the Laufeyson. We have to stop him."_

 

Then, there was silence. 

 

_"My lord."_

 

It was the same voice he heard in his last dream. The man with the yellow eyes.

 

 

_"Your son. We will get him back. Jötunheimr will fall tomorrow."_

 

 

Loki was getting nervous. It was unsettling and the sick feeling in his stomach was getting stronger, the longer he was drowning in this darkness.

 

 

_"Laufey is a liar!"_

 

And with that, he woke up, gasping for air and sweating. Loki panted and when he looked out of the window, Jotunheim looked like it was burning. Golden and red lights were all over the sky and there was a rumbling sound growling in the distance. Loki felt like Yggdrasill itself fell apart in this moment His heart stopped and panic was spreading through his limbs - fast. He pushed himself up hectically. 

 

He needed to find his father.

 

 

Loki ran through the hallways as fast as he could and made his way towards the throne room. He hoped Laufey would be there already. After all it was early in the morning and most people in the palace were still asleep. But Laufey was their king and so it was no wonder that he was already awake. Loki entered the large room hectically and only stopped when he stood in front of his father. 

 

"Loki?" he asked with a deep frown on his face. 

 

 

It was obvious that he was not only confused but worried as well. 

 

 

"Father there is an urgent matter I need to tell you." Loki explained and gasped for air. 

 

 

He was not made for running that much he could notice now. And the only thing that crossed his mind was that he was now even more impressed that Thor actually reached the mountain. 

 

"I had a... dream. But I do not think it was a dream." Loki explained with a sigh. 

 

 

"It was not a dream Loki. I've seen it too. Outside. It's the Æsir. They are here." Laufey replied after a long pause. 

 

 

He stood up from his throne and walked over to the windows, looking at the lights in the distance.

 

"They want to take the Casket." he continued but it was not enough for Loki. 

 

 

The Casket? And what was that about that son they were talking about in his dream? Loki assumed their first priority was him. 

 

 

"Father, they talked about a... a son. Do you know anything about this?"

 

 

"No, Loki. Nothing." this answer came too fast to be true. 

 

 

Loki gritted his teeth and looked at the sky again, listening to his father's words. 

 

 

"They will run into my warriors when they come here. And when they do, it will be your time to cast the spell. Take Thor with you. Tell him to kill everyone who tries to stop you."

 

 

Loki felt his throat getting tight and his chest clenching. He was not prepared for this. He never thought all this would happen so fast - but now it was and he realised even if he'd been prepared for this his entire life... He was still not ready for this. And what made this even worse was the fact that Thor was here. What would happen with him? Laufey said they'd come and take the Casket but he had the bad feeling that the Casket was not everything they would take from them. The prince let out a sigh and nodded before turning around, running back towards his chambers. 

 

 

While he ran down the long hallway he could see Thor in the distance, coming towards him as well and he wondered if he'd seen the burning clouds as well. 

 

 

"Thor!" he called and quickened his steps. 

 

 

Once he stood in front of him, Loki took a few deep breaths and then looked at his guard. His friend. 

 

 

"The Æsir are coming." he simply said and made a short pause. "I dreamed about it. Father says the sky colour announces them. Though no one knows if they come now, tonight or during dawn tomorrow." he continued, looking down. 

 

 

Without really thinking about it, Loki reached out and pulled at Thor's sleeve, pulling it down enough so it covered Thor's entire hand. He then dared to grab his hand, squeezing it tightly with both of his own. 

 

 

"I think they are looking for you."

 

 

****

 

 

The morning started with a horrible sound outside. There was thunder and when he woke up, Thor saw the sky was coloured red. He'd never seen anything like it before and if there wouldn't have been the threatening feeling of war that tingled his limbs and crept up his spine... he would've been amazed.

 

 

Thor made up his mind after only a few seconds, deciding he might as well go out and look for Loki. Heading over to the door, he'd barely made it out of there and a few steps down the hallway before he spotted him, coming towards him. He realised at once that he must have been right. Loki did not look like everything was okay. He looked scared, as though something terrible had happened, and Thor could not even focus long enough to try to think of what it could possibly be. Once they had finally reached each other, he stopped himself from putting his arms around Loki, and instead had them by his sides as he waited for Loki to tell him what was going on. 

 

 

When he did, he felt his insides grow cold. The Æsir? Why? What could they want? He assumed, based on the look on Loki's face, that this was not some peaceful visit to discuss a matter of great importance. There must be another reason for them coming here. 

 

 

He looked down and wondered what Loki was doing when he suddenly grabbed his hand, and he did not even have time to think about how nice it felt before Loki had snapped him out of his thoughts again. 

 

 

"What?" He furrowed his brow, slowly shaking his head. "Me? Why would they be looking for me?" 

 

 

Wouldn't it make more sense for them to be coming for the Casket, or... Loki, perhaps? There was no reason for them to be after him.

 

 

"Father says they are looking for the Casket." Loki answered, shaking his head. "But I've heard them in my dreams. I..." 

 

 

He made a pause and for a moment it looked like Loki was afraid of continuing. 

 

 

"They said they are looking for someone's son. Come with me."

 

 

Loki still held Thor's hand and pulled him along. Thor supposed it would make sense for the Æsir to want to steal the Casket away from them, but why now? Did they know about Loki's sacrifice? Did they know that now was probably the best time to strike, since Jötunheimr was weakened? And whose son? Who were they looking for? And why would Loki assume it had something to do with him? 

 

 

Loki lead him towards a hallway he'd never seen before. There was a large double-winged door that hid a room and at the end of the hallway there was a large window from where they could see the Bifröst.

 

 

"We have to wait here so we don't waste any time when it begins."

 

 

"When what begins, my lord? I do not understand. What is happening?"

 

 

Loki let go of his hand and stepped forward to the large window.

 

 

"As soon as they step into Jötunheimr I will perform the spell. I will recharge the Casket. I won't do it now because if they don't come I can practice a bit more. But if they come... I will do it. And you will stop whoever tries to get it. Don't let anyone in. If they stop me during the spell it will be interrupted and I will die before finishing it. If that happens... it will be for nothing."

 

 

The moment Loki explained it to him, Thor felt as though his entire world fell apart. No. This could not be happening. Not now, not this soon. He had not been ready. Thor realised that perhaps he would never have been ready, but this was not what he had expected. It was not supposed to happen like this. How could he be losing Loki already? This was not... He had to pull himself together. Loki had given him a job, and he needed to do it. He was a guard, he was a warrior, and he needed to follow instructions. 

 

 

"I understand, your highness," he said quietly, bowing his head. 

 

 

Loki lead him towards the large room and when they entered, Thor could see the faintly glimmering Casket of Ancient Winters on a pedestal in the middle. Swallowing, he took a deep breath and steadied himself, giving Loki one final look before turning around to walk over to the entrance, ready to protect him with his life.

 

 

The rumbling continued. It was getting louder and Thor had lost the sense of time when the ground beneath them was starting to shake. Lightning struck from the Bifröst and Loki stood up. 

 

 

"They are coming." Loki said and walked up to the Casket.

 

 

Thor forced himself to stay where he was, even though a big part of him wanted to turn back to Loki and beg him not to go through with this. The thought of losing him was too much for him to bear. His hands were trembling a bit, but he refused to let any of it show. He was supposed to guard Loki, and that was what he would do. He would be willing to lay down his own life for him, if that was what it would come to. And a small voice in the back of his head wondered if perhaps that would be for the best? The two of them would both die fighting to save the kingdom, and perhaps that was better than being left behind while Loki sacrificed his own life. 

 

 

He was not sure how much had time had passed. His body was a bit sore from standing still for so long, and he tried to stretch his limbs a bit, before going back to focus on the task at hand. They would have to get through this. And then the ground began to shake once again, and Thor closed his eyes for a few seconds, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He could hear footsteps. They were coming closer and when he opened his eyes again, he could see them. His heart dropped and for the first time in his life Thor realised what fear felt like.

 

 

Thor kept his eyes on the troops in the distance, only just know truly realising what was happening. They really were coming, and he would have to do everything he could in order to protect Loki. It was a good thing he had practiced fighting several people at once, because he had a feeling he was going to need it. And in order to fight them, he would have to completely shut himself off, and forget about the fact that Loki was just about to sacrifice himself. He wanted to scream, and he wanted to cry, because he had not even had a chance to say a proper goodbye, but none of that could matter right now. He had to do this. Protecting Loki was his number one priority. 

 

 

"Thor."

 

 

At the sound of his name, he turned around, and watched Loki for only a few seconds before he had to turn away again. He didn't want to see it. It was starting. Loki was sacrificing himself, and Thor could only hope he was ready for it. 

 

 

Swallowing, he turned back again, watching as the troops got closer and closer.   
He forced himself not to look over at Loki again, because he knew it would mess up his concentration. Holding his weapon in front of him, Thor readied himself, clenching his jaw as he prepared to fight them off.

 

 

There were more than ten, but this was not the time to doubt himself. He could do this. He had to do this, or else Loki's work would be for nothing. Straightening back up, he raised his weapon and immediately attacked the warrior closest to him. The one thing he had barely taken into consideration, was that of course the Æsir had a different fighting style. They were faster, and a lot more graceful than the warriors he was used to fighting. Nevertheless, he managed to stand his ground, trying his best to stop them from getting to Loki. But there were too many. Even if he could fight ten of them at once, they were clearly not after him. They were trying to get to Loki. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a couple of them making it past him, and he could feel his stomach drop.

 

 

"Loki!" he shouted, desperately attempting to fight off the ones surrounding him so that he could help Loki before it was too late.

 

 

But he was held back. Panic made his body numb. The Æsir held him back. He could feel them grabbing, holding onto him to restrain him. Thor fought against them, trying to make them stop but they were too many. Too strong. Two of them passed and one of the Æsir held up a crossbow. He shot.

 

"No!!"

 

Loki was hit at his right shoulder and he fell down like a dead puppet, remaining on the floor. He didn't move. He didn't even made a single sound when the blood started pouring on the ground. 

 

Thor struggled against him as best as he could. 

 

"Cuff him! Odin wants him alive!"

 

 

_Loki. Loki. Loki. Loki don't die, please._

 

 

He needed to get to him. But the Æsir refused to let him go and Thor could only watch helplessly as they gathered around Loki. It was impossible to shake them off and he couldn't do anything about it when one took the Casket.

 

 

And as he was struggling against the guards, Thor suddenly felt a dull pain against the side of his head, and he went limp in the guards' arms, falling unconscious. The last thing he thought of was Loki, hoping against hope that he would somehow be all right, before he closed his eyes and everything went dark. 

 

****

 

"I know you hide him Laufey." Odin said and Laufey clenched his jaw, raising his chin a little. 

 

 

"I do not know what you are talking about." Laufey replied. 

 

 

Odin made a pause and frowned a little. "My son. Heimdallr saw him with your own runt. He is here and I demand him back. You told me he is dead but now that I know the truth... I will no longer be patient with you. I know what you intend to do with the Casket. There is no need to recharge it. You know this as well as I do. You just want it to be more powerful so you can invade the other realms." 

 

 

Hearing that, Laufey stood up. It was not even necessary to know him to see that he was upset. 

 

 

"You do not know what you are talking about. You are an old man. What do you know about the Casket?!" Laufey replied and saw that about twenty guards gathered behind Odin. 

 

 

"Make sure to get Thor back. Alive. And do whatever is necessary to stop the Laufeyson." Odin ordered and the warriors started running towards the chambers. And with that Laufey started to attack Odin, calling his own warriors.


	9. Epilogue - Part I

The steady sound of something being dragged across the floor was constantly in his ears. Thor couldn't move. He couldn't talk. He couldn't speak. His body was limp and his mind was dizzy. He could still feel that ringing sound from the punch in his head and it echoed through it, making him deaf for most of what was happening around him. The only thing he heard was this abradant sound, heavy footsteps and muffled voices in the distance. 

 

For the first time in his entire life... he was scared. 

 

 _Loki_. He'd failed him. He'd failed him again. The horrible image of blood running down Loki's shoulder was burned in his head and it was there. Always. It wouldn't go away. He had failed Loki. He had failed all of them and that was the one and only thing he had on his mind. He couldn't do anything about it and Thor's body ached. Everything hurt. His mind started pounding and it felt as if his head was going to explode. There were images between the blood on Loki's blue skin he didn't recognise. Golden halls and red fabrics. It was bright everywhere and he heard the same voice he'd been dreaming about. A soft, warm voice that was singing a calming song to him. It soothed the pain and made him relax a little until he blacked out completely again. 

 

Then he was sweating and freezing and it hurt again. Thor didn't know how long his eyes were closed and he was scared of what he would see and feel and hear once he was able to open them again. He was exhausted and his head was spinning with images of himself and people around him he didn't know. He was laughing. And they were laughing too but these couldn't be _his_ memories. Or... did they belong to him? 

 

No, that was not possible. He was a Frost Giant. He belonged in Jötunheimr. He belonged at Loki's side. 

 

And then suddenly - he opened his eyes. Thor had to blink a couple of times before his eyes managed to adjust to the light and once they did - there was gold again. The ceiling was golden and he could feel that he was lying on a very comfortable bed, securely between furs and silky blankets and a fluffy, feathery pillow. How much time had passed since the battle? Why was he here? _Where_ was he? And what were these images in his mind that still made his head pound painfully. He was exhausted. Confused. 

 

It took Thor a moment to register the fact that someone was holding his hand and when he did, he turned his head to look at the person who was sitting there. It was a woman. An Æsir woman. She had bright, blue eyes and golden, long locks. Her form was delicate and her robes fell around her body lightly. Again, his head started to spin and he felt nauseous. Thor shook his head, trying to get rid of those images. He wanted to ask her who she was. He wanted to ask her where he was, what happened to Loki but he was too exhausted. He opened his mouth, realising how dry his throat was. No words came out of his throat and instead, there was a weak gasp for breath. 

 

"You are back home, my son." the woman said and Thor could see her jaw trembling. She started crying despite the smile on her face. The grip on his hand tightened and her thumb rubbed over the back of his hand. 

 

Oddly enough he recognised her voice from his dreams. The golden room, the sound of her voice. It was everything he needed to realise that this woman was telling him the truth. He was her son. Though this brought up so many questions he did not have the energy to ask right now. How could this be his mother? He was a Frost Giant and she obviously wasn't. Nevertheless, he knew who was sitting next to him. He had dreamed about her. 

 

"Mother..." he whispered, his voice hoarse and raw from not being used in a long time. 

 

"Laufey stole you when you are only ten years old to use you against us and the nine realms. But now you are here again." 

 

The woman leaned closer and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, her other hand caressing his cheek. Her skin was warm, but not uncomfortable. 

 

"Rest now. We will tell you everything you need and want once you're fully rested."

 

Laufey had stolen him? How could this be? Thor knew he should rest because he was exhausted and tired but he still had so many questions running through his head and he was not sure how to relax. Especially one thing. There was one thing he needed to know more than anything else. 

 

"Loki." Thor breathed with a raspy voice. "Loki." he said once again and could see her frowning lightly. "Where is Loki? Is he all right?" Thor knew he would never be able to relax before he knew for sure.

 

"He is no longer a threat for Ásgarðr." the woman finally said.

 

Once again, he could feel the sense of failure washing over him. It was too much. All of this was too much to take in. He had failed Loki. Loki could be dead right now. And on top of all that, he was trying to accept the fact that his real parents were the king and queen of Ásgarðr. Which meant he was... Shaking his head, he tried to keep his breathing under control. He closed his eyes, wishing this would all go away, wishing he would be back in Jötunheimr with Loki. Maybe this was all a dream? It had to be. This could not be happening... 

 

But then eventually, his mind drifted, and he fell asleep again, troubling thoughts still plaguing him.

 

The next time Thor woke up, he felt a lot calmer than last time. He was still confused, and angry, and worried, but it was not quite as intense as it first had been. Looking around the room, he realised he was alone. His mother was no longer sitting at his bedside, no one was holding his hand. Moving a bit, he let out a groan, his body stiff and tense from having been on this bed for... How long? Thor had no idea. But he was sure he would find out soon enough. After a few minutes, he managed to push himself up and he spent a moment steadying his breathing. The room was so... golden. Everything looked impressive, and Thor was not entirely sure where to keep his eyes because there was just _so_ much to look at. Instead, he looked down at the blanket covering him, and that was when he realised... His hands. 

 

They were not blue. The markings were gone. He looked like... Thor let out a gasp. 

 

Mirror. He needed a mirror. 

 

His gaze swept the room, but he found no mirror. He could almost see his reflection in the walls, though, and he pushed the blanket aside and slowly moved until his feet hit the floor. It was utterly strange to be walking again, and he almost lost his balance at one point, but he managed to move closer to the walls, staring at his own reflection with wide eyes. He looked... Thor did not know how to describe the image he saw before him. 

 

He looked like an Æsir. His hair looked the same, but the rest of him... His skin was the same colour as the Æsir. It was tanned and warm and he didn't recognise himself. He looked so... different. That was not him. That couldn't be him. He didn't look like this. He was a Frost Giant and he belonged into the realm of ice. He belonged to Loki and into his chambers. He belonged at his side and not in these golden halls. Shaking his head, he backed away, getting back on the bed and sitting down. 

 

What was he supposed to do now?

 

"Thor." a bright voice said and Thor turned around, realising that it was that... that woman. His mother. 

 

Watching as she came closer to him, he wondered what she was going to do. His guard was still up. After all, he did not know her. He did not know anyone in this palace. How was he supposed to trust them when they had attacked the place he had called home, and then hurt or possibly killed Loki? He tensed up a bit when she sat down next to him, and watched as she held her hand out. There was definitely a slight hesitation, because even though he remembered her voice, and even though there was something about her that made him feel safe, he still did not know if he could trust her or not. 

 

"You've grown into a very handsome man." she suddenly said with a light chuckle.

 

Her words made him turn his eyes down, and he wanted to ask her if she would have felt the same way had she seen him a few days ago when his skin had been blue. How could she say he had grown up to be a handsome man? This form was entirely new to him. He had not grown up into _this_ , he had grown up into the person he had been before they took him from Jötunheimr. Slowly, he reached out and took her hand in his own, spending a moment comparing the colours of their skin. 

 

"I do not even recognise myself," he said quietly, choosing not to look into her eyes.

 

"My name is Frigga. You must have a lot of questions. Whatever it is... just ask. And when you feel ready for it, your father wishes to see you. But only if you want to."

 

"My father?"

 

"Yes, your father. Odin. The Allfather. You are his son and the crown prince of Ásgarðr."

 

Of course he had heard about Odin before, but to realise that he was his father, and that Thor now was... How could he possibly be a prince? And of Ásgarðr? No. He had been a warrior, a personal guard, nothing more than that. To suddenly find out that he was a prince... That was a very big change, and Thor was not entirely sure how to deal with it. And did he have a lot of questions? Yes. He had so many of them, he did not know exactly where to start. He did have one, though, that was suddenly bothering him more than ever. He wasn't sure if he should ask it, though, because he did not want to make his mother feel guilty in anyway. But she had told him to just ask, so he figured that was what he should do. 

 

"Why didn't you come look for me sooner?"

 

"Laufey told us you were dead. The Frost Giants attacked the other realms with the Casket of Ancient Winters and while our people were holding them off... some of their kind sneaked into Ásgarðr and kidnapped you when you were a mere infant. They put a spell on you so Heimdallr couldn't see you. But... Laufey used the power of the Casket too often so the power faded and the spell weakened. This was why we now found out that you are still alive."

 

The crown prince of Ásgarðr. Hm. The crown prince of Ásgarðr wasn't feeling all that well right now. He almost felt like he needed to sit down, but he was of course already sitting down, and the only other option would be lie down. He stayed where he was, though, staring at Frigga for a long moment. How was he supposed to handle any of this? Suddenly, he was royal, and not only was he royal but he was the son of Odin. He was meant to rule Ásgarðr one day. Again, his head was spinning a little bit, but he somehow managed to control himself. Instead, he listened to her explanation, nodding his head. 

 

Now he wanted to ask her why they had just abandoned him there. Even if Laufey had told them he was dead, surely they could have gone to Jötunheimr to make sure? Not that he'd had a horrible life there, he had loved his parents... the two people raising him... and he had spent a lot of time training himself to be a great warrior. Still, he did feel a little bit betrayed, even though he thought it was silly because these people did not owe him anything. He did not even know them. Besides, he didn't want to ask because he didn't want to make his mother feel any worse about it. They must have done what they thought was for the best. Even if that meant leaving him there.

 

"I am sorry, Thor. That we did not look for you earlier. I hope you can forgive us one day." Frigga said when Thor kept quiet. Then, she smiled at him. "Do you want to see the palace? We could talk about whatever you want to. Ask whatever you want to while I show you around." she offered and Thor managed a weak smile.

 

"That sounds like a good idea."

 

Thor had troubles walking. His legs were a little bit weak but he managed this just fine. 

 

"Would you tell me about your life in Jötunheimr? What was it like?"

 

Thor hesitated for a moment, not entirely sure what to tell her, because he did not know what she wanted to hear. 

 

"It was good, for the most part. I loved my p- I loved the two Frost Giants that raised me. And I... I think they loved me in return. I never doubted it before this. Now, I understand that it was their duty to raise the son of Odin as their prisoner, but... I remain hopeful that they loved me back." 

 

"Even if they were not your real parents... they loved you. Trust me with this."

 

It was awkward to talk about this, since this was his real mother, and he almost felt guilty about loving anyone else, but at the same time he could not be blamed for becoming attached to the ones who had acted as his parents. 

 

"My life became very empty when they died. I had no one to turn to, no one to talk to. I simply focused on my training, but then all of that changed, and I found a friend. Two friends, actually. I just wish I knew if they are all right." 

 

"Maybe you could ask Heimdallr if he can see them? He has the all-seeing eyes. If they are both alive - he will be able to tell you."

 

He assumed Ragna was fine, since there was no reason for her to be attacked, but the last time he had seen Loki, he had gotten an arrow to his shoulder. Maybe he should really go there once everything had settled in. After all he didn't know him. He didn't know where to find him, he didn't know how he looked like. Besides, how did he knew if he could trust him? What if Heimdallr lied to him and said they were fine simply to keep him here in Ásgarðr? No, he wanted to see Loki and Ragna with his own eyes, but he was not sure how to make this happen. No, he wanted to see Loki and Ragna with his own eyes, but he was not sure how to make this happen. He would somehow need to get back to Jotunheim, but how could he do this without causing any trouble? He would have to figure something out, but it would probably take some time, as he would first have to learn more about Ásgarðr in order to come up with a plan

 

With a sigh, he turned to look out the window, watching the warriors out there with a wistful look on his face.

 

"Could we go down to the training grounds?" he asked, turning to look at Frigga.

 

"Yes, of course." she said, looking slightly surprised. 

 

Once they arrived at the training yard, he looked around, curious to find out more about the Asgardian warriors and their fighting styles. He hoped he would be allowed to start training with them soon, as that would probably be one of the easier ways for him to feel like he truly belonged here. He tilted his head to the side when he noticed a woman fighting. His first thought was that she was beautiful, and she even reminded him a little bit of Loki. He had long, black hair as well and sharp features. She looked determined and her movements were graceful. 

 

His second thought was why they would allow a woman to fight. He hadn't expected it, but he could see that she was very skilled, and it even looked like she was winning. Admittedly, he was very impressed, and he wondered if he would be able to fight with her.

 

"Thor, I would like to introduce you to your brother. Baldr." Frigga said, making Thor snap out of his thoughts.

 

The man had light brown hair, blue eyes just like himself and he almost looked identically to himself. _Brother_?

 

"Hello." Thor ended up saying, mostly because he couldn't think of anything else. . It was a bit embarrassing, but it seemed like Baldr did not care. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Thor in a tight hug, obviously not feeling self-conscious about it at all, and Thor tensed up for a moment before finally relaxing and hugging him back. It was strange, but still very comfortable, and even without really speaking to each other, he could tell that he was going to like his brother.

 

"Brother. It's good to have you back. We have a lot to talk about." Baldr said and pulled back, right when there was a loud thud not far away from them. 

 

The woman had just beaten her opponent, sending him flying to the ground. Then, she walked towards him, a satisfying smile on her full lips. Once she stood in front of them, she bowed down to all three of them. 

 

"My Queen, Baldr..." she said and straightened back up again. 

 

"Lady Sif." Frigga replied. "I see you have improved once again."

 

"Thank you, my Queen. I've trained a lot lately... and... I see you finally found your son?" Sif asked and turned to look at him. 

 

"My lady." Thor said, nodding at her. "I was very impressed by your fighting. You are obviously a very skilled warrior." 

 

Sif chuckled and was already about to say something when Baldr put an arm around her shoulders, patting her proudly.

 

"I am sure Sif would love to show you her skills. She was utterly excited when it was announced that the crown prince has been found and brought back to Ásgarðr." his brother said with a wide smile. 

 

Sif rolled her eyes, hitting him into his side with her elbow, causing Baldr to let out a pained gasp. "I would watch out, brother. She is a violent woman." he whispered. 

 

Thor wondered if the two of them were romantically involved. They seemed utterly comfortable around each other and also very playful. It was difficult to tell whether or not they were a couple. Not that he was truly intending to flirt with Sif - after all they had just met. But he was beautiful and a very accomplished fighter. And he had to probably accept the fact that Loki and he were never going to be together. 

 

"I'm going to see my husband now and tell him about the good news. I assume you two will take care of my son well." Frigga said and smiled, giving Thor a light pat on his shoulder before she left, leaving Thor alone with the others.

 

"Are the... two of you...?" he dared to ask, not finishing the question since he assumed they would know what he was talking about. 

 

Sif shook her head, smiling. "No, we're just friends." she looked at Baldr and grinned. "Baldr couldn't handle me anyway." she teased him, crossing her arms in front of her chest.. 

 

Though Thor's attention was drawn elsewhere. Two other warriors passed them and Thor overheard their conversation. 

 

"...I know. They even took the Casket with them. That bastard Laufey and his little runt of a son really thought they could conquer Ásgarðr." one of them said and both laughed, obviously pleased with the outcome of the day when they went to Jötunheimr to bring him back. 

 

Immediately, Thor tensed up, and he of course knew that they were talking about Loki. Thor clenched his hands into fists, trying to stay calm. Is that what they called Loki here? _Runt of a son_? It made him a mad, but he wasn't Loki's personal guard any more, and he didn't have to defend him. He especially didn't want to do it with Baldr and Sif right there next to him even if the strong urge was there.

 

Then, Baldr patted Thor's shoulder, making him look up and let go of that thought. "Would you like to spar? Or see the rest of the palace? Or... maybe something else? We could sit down, drink something and talk if you like to."

 

"It would be interesting to spar, of course... but I'm afraid I would be a little rusty." Thor said. He had stayed in that bed for quite some time after all. "Perhaps we could see the rest of the palace?"

 

And they did exactly that. Baldr showed him around this incredible realm. It was huge and impressive and bright. Golden. It was almost too much to take in at once. Thor didn't know where to look first because it was all so incredibly beautiful. That - and he was still struggling to figure out who he was. Well... he knew of course that he was the prince of Ásgarðr but that was not what he meant. It was all so strange. Not only did he have to come to terms with the fact that he now looked different, he also had memories to get through, new customs to learn, and he had to accept that he was royal. He had spent several days bowing to Loki, and now he would have to get used to people bowing to him. It would take quite some time to get used to, but Thor assumed he would get used to it at some point. Nevertheless, it was quite a big stretch to go from Thor, a simple warrior and later personal guard, to Thor - crown prince of Ásgarðr. It could have been worse, though. At least he was not panicking anymore, even though there were still a lot of questions running around inside his head. He just had to try to ignore them for now, and he was sure he would find the answers to one after another. 

 

And in the evening, he was introduced to his father. 

 

Thor followed Baldr into dining hall, and he had to force himself not to let his jaw drop. He had thought the dining hall in Jötunheimr had been impressive, but that was nothing compared to this. It was beautiful, and so grand, and Thor was not entirely sure where to keep his eyes because not only was the room impressive, the food was impressive as well. And not to mention the people. He recognised Sif, of course, and his mother. And then... Thor had heard plenty of stories of the Allfather. He knew he was powerful, and he had expected to be in awe of him, but to be standing in front of him... Thor could practically _feel_ the power radiating from him, which would have been impressive enough, but then Thor reminded himself that he was the son of the Allfather, and suddenly his knees felt a bit weak. This was all a little bit too much to handle, and a part of him wanted to turn around and run away from there, but he forced himself to stay. He could get through this. He had to. 

 

And when Baldr told him he was to sit next to the King, Thor swallowed, nodding his head before walking closer. What was he supposed to do now? Should he say something? Bow? Should he just sit down? He had been nervous around Baldr too, but this was so much worse. And he did not want to stare, because he felt like a complete fool. Perhaps they had gotten the wrong person after all? Perhaps he was not truly the Prince of Asgardian?

 

"Come on, you can do this." Baldr whispered and went to sit down on his own chair next to Frigga.

 

Slowly making his way forward, he sat down next to the King, feeling like he did not belong here. Who was he to sit next to the King of Ásgarðr? Of course, he remembered a second later that he was the Prince, and that he did indeed have a right to sit next to him, but he had only been awake for about a day, and he had not nearly adjusted to all of this yet. He knew it was going to take some time, at least to realise the fact that he was indeed royal. He was already growing fond of his family, which was strange because he had never wanted a second family, he had simply wanted to know where he came from. He supposed his path had already been chosen for him, since it would be incredibly difficult to ignore that he was a part of the royal family. This was not something he could run away from, he had to accept his responsibilities, and Thor was willing to do that. He was nothing if not loyal. 

 

Once he sat down, Odin sat up and the entire room was silent within a heartbeat.

 

"I am... glad that you all came here to feast with us. It is a glorious day for your prince finally came home. We thought him dead but now he is here and I look at him with pride. Let us celebrate his return." he announced and for a moment everyone looked at Thor before they all yelled a loud "Aye!" raising their goblets with the mead, visibly and audibly in the mood to celebrate. 

 

He looked up and listened to the Allfather's words, and was surprised when they all seemed so willing to celebrate his return. Why? What was so special about him? He was their prince yes, but they did not even know him. At this point, Loki knew him better than any of them. And he was reminded once again of the friend he had left behind in Jötunheimr. He wondered what Loki was doing right now, if he was indeed still alive. What would happen to his realm? They had failed to recharge the Casket, did that mean...

 

"There is no need to be nervous." Odin suddenly assured him with a short nod.

 

Thor managed a small smile. "Thank you... But... This-" he looked at the warriors, his mother and his brother. "This is not something I am used to."

 

Odin let out a chuckle. "You seem confused. You surely heard of Mjölnir? That the one who is worthy to wield it will bring peace to the nine realms? They all hope that you are the one who is able to wield it. That is why they are all celebrating your return."

 

Confused was not nearly enough to say how confused he really was. He did not understand why they would celebrate like this. Granted, he understood that the return of a lost prince would be a joyous occasion, but so far he had done nothing for them to be so happy about. How could they know he was going to be a good prince? What if he would be terrible at it, what cause for celebration would they have then? But then of course Odin explained it to him, and Thor let his eyes fall down to the table. He was to wield Mjölnir? He had only briefly heard of that hammer, but he knew enough to realise that wielding it would be a huge honour. But what if he could not wield it? Thor did not want to feel like a failure, and usually he was quite confident in his own abilities, but this was all new to him. If they put him on the training grounds, he would show them all what he was capable of, but this was entirely different. He was a good warrior, but he did not know if he would be a good prince. 

 

"Do not worry, Thor. Laufey lied about the Casket. Jötunheimr will not fall apart. Otherwise I wouldn't have taken it away from them." Odin added after a while. He figured that it was only natural that he worried about this since it had been his home up to this point. 

 

"What?!" 

 

This did not make any sense. Why would Laufey lie about such a thing?

 

"But... but if Jötunheimr will not fall apart, why would he need Loki to sacrifice himself?!"

 

"Magic, Thor, is very rare in Jötunheimr. The Casket is able to wield magic and it was made to keep Jötunheimr alive. But Laufey wanted to use it to destroy the other realms - but he needed more power for this. That is why he wanted to capture Loki's abilities inside the Casket. After all, a lifeless object is simpler to use than a living person. That is why we took it away from them. So he won't use it against the other realms."

 

Thor could not believe this. 

 

"You are telling me Laufey wanted Loki to sacrifice his own life so that he could attack other realms?" 

 

He shook his head, a look of pure disbelief on his face. How was this possible? How could anyone be so cruel? Loki had believed he was going to give up his own life so that his people would live on, but this was... This was unacceptable.

 

"There is much that you don't know yet. Laufey already tried this once and almost destroyed Midgard with it. But we managed to defeat him before he could cause too much damage."

 

How could they not have known about this?! Someone other than Laufey must have known about this, why didn't anyone tell Loki he was making a mistake? Because Loki did not know, right? He had told him he was sacrificing himself for Jötunheimr, but what if Loki knew what he was doing all along? What if he had simply avoided telling Thor the truth? No, that could not be it. Loki must have been lied to as well, for he would never agree to such a monstrous thing, would he? Thor certainly hoped not. He did not wish for Loki to have been tricked by his own father, but it would make things easier. Would it really change anything, though? What were the chances of him ever meeting Loki again? But he had to see him again. He had to make sure he was all right. Not only had he been hurt by the warriors, he might have been weakened by the spell, and his father no longer had any use of him. If he was cruel enough to sacrifice him in the first place, would he not be cruel enough to get rid of him now?

 

"You look like you cared for the prince of Jötunheimr." Odin interrupted his thoughts.

 

"I..."

 

He did not know what to tell his father. Yes, he had cared for Loki, a lot more so than he was willing to share with anyone. He was sure his father would not approve if he found out his true feelings for the son of Laufey. He looked over the table, trying to distract his own thoughts. His eyes fell on a jar, filled with something that looked like liquid gold. Furrowing his brow, he pointed at it. 

 

"Is this honey?" he asked. 

 

He could remember Loki telling him about it. That had been the day of him making it all the way to the mountain. Loki had told him about the honey while the two of them were sitting in front of the fire. He could remember how nice it had been to have his arm around Loki's shoulders, and suddenly he felt a lot warmer inside.

 

"It is." Frigga said with a smile. "It's very sweet, you should try it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So - this was the first part of our story. I hope things are now a bit clearer and you're not too disappointed/sad about the end c: ! 
> 
> But no, this is not the finale end. Only to this part. Völuspá is going to be divided into 4 parts. Putting everything into one single FF would be too much. Also the next parts will be a lot longer. It's divided so it's clearly arranged! I'll upload the Prologue of Part II sometime next week and post the link on Tumblr c: ! Now that it'll be a series, I'll edit the whole FF and put the second part online as soon as I'm done so I guess you'll be notified here as well. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading the first part until the end, thank you for your comments and all your kudos and if you like the story so far, stay tuned for the next part c: !!  
> It'll definitely be online by the end of the next week.
> 
> Also!  
> Now that Part I is over, I figure it's time to explain the title of this FF.
> 
> "Völuspá is the first and best known poem of the Poetic Edda. It tells the story of the creation of the world."
> 
> We thought it'd fit since from now on, a new world will be created around and by Thor. (Of course it'll come clear in the next part what exactly is meant by 'new world'.)
> 
> (sssshh don't panic Loki isn't dead)


End file.
